ERECTION problems

[dancingdoc2]

Top Line: Erections come and erections go. A penis seemingly has a mind of its own.

There are generally three concerns fellas have regarding erections:
1. He is not hard when the couple begins making out; or, when she slips her hand down his trousers
2. His penis becomes limp for what seems like no good reason, either after a prolonged period of lovemaking, or, when attempting penetration
3. Once the erection is lost, it means that lovemaking must end

First, there is nothing in the rule book for making love that mandates having an erection when about to make love. For teens and young men up to their early forties or so, spontaneous erections are the norm. We get them when thinking erotic thoughts, seeing a mannequin in the store, viewing an ad, passing an attractive person on the street, having any of our five senses stimulated.

As men age, spontaneous erections become less frequent and later in life--non existent. Does this mean that sex is over? Obviously not. So, whenever you experience a flaccid penis when you believe it should not be, do not become upset or worried. It does not mean you are any less a "man", or that there is something wrong with you.

The fix is to simply pay attention to it and work on it manually {by hand) and/or oral stimulation. If the erection does not return, back off and give your body some time to recupe and regroup. This is especially important if the erection goes away after a long period of fooling around making out.

If worried about Performance Anxiety, the best fix is to stop worrying. (I know, easier said than done, yet frankly this is the way to get over it. That, and to become more comfortable with each other.) If you continue to worry about performing, it will likely become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Because erections come and go, and, because boys usually experience them when desired, it becomes a matter of great concern when one does not happen. They have little or no experience beginning a lovemaking session with no erection. Here are two important facts to know and understand: Women enjoy--
a. watching a penis grow
b. making it grow as a direct result of what they are doing

This should be sufficient reason to stop worrying and to let her help reestablish an erection.

Second, if your lovemaking session has become quite long, it is not unusual for the body to simply tire of maintaining an erection. Should this occur and the penis becomes (partially) flaccid, just devote some time and attention to it and work it back up. If it won't respond immediately, simply, give your body a few minutes to recuperate, continue making out, then try again, later. THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO REASON TO CALL A HAULT TO THE PROCEEDINGS.

On occasion a penis will be erect and as soon as you apply pressure to the structure by attempting intercourse, the erection goes away. What has happened is that the back pressure applied to the shaft affects the root structure of the penis inside the abdominal cavity. This is a common occurrence when first attempts are made at penetrating the hymen, or, if the vaginal opening is small. The fix is the same.

Third, if an erection is lost for whatever the reason while making love, it does not mean a couple must stop and their romp in the hay is over; quite the contrary, just refocus your attention on making out and stimulating the penis. More often the erection will return, she will enjoy watching it grow, especially if she has a hand in it; and, the two of you can continue on.

Bottom Line: Please add to your knowledge by reading the many articles listed in the Index:

--BEGIN HERE--w/a Partial INDEX of Sex Info 101 Sex Ed. Topics

Pay particular attention to those that discuss the how-to's of making out.

P.S. Erections are not mandatory in order to have an ejaculation. Worst case scenario: let's say a penis goes limp, attempts to regain it have failed--now what? An orgasm can be brought about even though the penis is flaccid.

How Do I Get Him/Her to Orgasm From a Hand/Blow Job?

[lovergirl4789]

my boyfriend and i have been trying to have sex. he is a virgin and i am not. he has no problem getting an erection but has problems keeping it after penetration. he has told me i am very tight and that it is somewhat hard for him to enter me. i have done things to try to help him maintain or regain his erection but it is simply not working. he says its not me and he is just nervous still. what can he do to try to maintain his erection and what could i do to help him keep it or get it back and over come this problem? it is starting to really frustrate both of us. any help is appreciated!!

[dancingdoc2]

Welcome to the SI101 Board and its Forums. I hope you enjoy participating. Please begin by reading the FAQs, Posting Guidelines, and in particular, the Index, all found at the top of the main screen.

Here are links to some helpful articles:

> he is a virgin and i am not.

HELP! S/He is more EXPERIENCED! To which I say:

> he has no problem getting an erection but has problems keeping it after penetration.

Asked and answered in the original article, above.
In addition, many fellas operate under the misguided misconception that the way to a climax is from lots and lots of stroking and thrusting. WRONG. This is the why of all the fooling around and making out beforehand. He should be at the brink of an orgasm before entering. If he then loses his erection then it is more likely than not that it is nerves. The fix is quite literally to stop worrying. How you respond to this happening is critically important. Being supportive and helping to rebuild his erection are next in line.

Even though you have previous experience, what might help is the exercise described in orange print in this article:

What Can I/We Do To Prepare For First Time Intercourse?

> what can he do to try to maintain his erection and what could i do to help him keep it or get it back and over come this problem?

What can help to maintain his erection is for you to exercise your Kegel muscles and clamp down when he is stroking. If he loses his erection, just pause and rebuild it as described in the opening article.

Please look at the list or helpful, informative, how-to articles in the Index and read all or at least those of interest to the two of you.

If you have additional questions or concerns please do not hesitate to ask.

[revlon19]

So what if there is an erection but not a very hard one? Do penises vary in the level of hardness in general?

[dancingdoc2]

> So what if there is an erection but not a very hard one? Do penises vary in the level of hardness in general?

On an individual basis, not generally, although, a person's erection can be less firm on occasion.

Of course age has something to do with this later in life and I suppose there can be some physiological issues that can affect the firmness of an erection.

I did know a guy once who was in his late thirties who had a nice size erect penis yet it was not very rigid at all. Not that there is any connection, but he had cashew sized nuts, too.

[Lover56]

Hey, i've been having a hard time trying get a really firm erection with my gf...is there anything i can do to get it harder?

[dancingdoc2]

Do you regularly have firm erections when you masturbate? What about when you are around her in a non-sexual environment?

If so, then there is nothing physically wrong. Here are some things to consider:
a) worrying about anything and everything
b) there are no pheromones flying between the two of you. You may like each other, love each other, yet not have the "chemistry" to cause intense arousal, and, sexual excitement

We may be able to offer additional information and insight with more information.

[Lover56]

Well, i do get firm erections when i masturbate...and in a nonsexual situation i get them sometimes...can the temperature of the room have anything to do with it?

[dancingdoc2]

I do not believe so.

[Ephemera]

Well, sheesh, doc. I thought I'd gotten past the whole "stage fright" thing.

But tonight, when hooking up with a girl, I couldn't get it up.

First time I'd hooked up with anyone in more than five months. Also the first time for a one night stand. Didn't work out so well.