how to tell

[duh477]

this might seem dumb but how do you know if a girl wants to have sex with you? what kind of things will she say or do when you are on a date? would it be weird to just ask her openly if your hanging out? im just confused please help

[goof'schik]

Everyone of us is so very different. Some will hop into bed before, during or after the first date and others won't. Some of us want to be sure that you, the guy care about us and not just getting laid. If you're in a relationship, gone on a few dates and have decided not to see anyone else then it's an easier topic to bring up.
Some of us are more obvious than others. Ask you to come in, give you a tour of her place, and when you get to her bedroom spend more time than in any other room showing you around. (just because she invites you up does not mean she wants sex and just because she asks you to invite her to your place does not mean she wants sex either).
If she comes to your place and asks to see your room, she may just want to know your not a slob.
There is no sure fire way to know we want you unless we totally jump your bones and tell you. But if you are sitting close on the couch and start to kiss and you want to take it further just remember her first no, means no, you stop.

[Ducy]

I usually try to bring it up through a non threatening sort of approach. Like for instance about a month aga this girl told me I should bring lotion on our date (She had gotten sun burned and was freaking out about peeling so I had been teasing her about it before we went out) Knowing exactly what she wanted it for, I decided to change it up and I said sorry I dont give hand jobs on the first date....only the 4th, but I do sleep with the person on the second.

Well she laughed and said isnt sex more private than a hand job and I told her that rules were rules and that I hoped she would respect them. Then the truth came out, I believe her words were along the lines of you really going to make me wait till the second date?

Granted this wont work for everyone, but I brought it up in a totally non threatening way and didnt put any pressure. Like goofschik said, just read body language, or bring it up in this way (or something similair) and you may be able to guage her reaction to it

[arutha]

If she is enjoying herself, and happy touching and kissing you, most likely she has also thought about sex. If she is in your/her room alone with you making out, she almost certainly does. The best thing you can do is be confident, slowly warm her up, don't get your hands down her pants after a first kiss. Kiss and make out for a long time, roam your hands lightly over her neck and cheeks, then progress to the back and sides, then start moving your kisses to her cheeks and neck and just slowly build up toward rubbing her inner thighs and lightly touching between her legs with her clothes on. You will be able to tell if she is getting uncomfortable, then you back off a bit and keep going for a while where she is comfortable before trying to escalate again. If she is into it she will most likely start touching you as well.

[goof'schik]

Originally Posted by arutha

If she is enjoying herself, and happy touching and kissing you, most likely she has also thought about sex. If she is in your/her room alone with you making out, she almost certainly does. The best thing you can do is be confident, slowly warm her up, don't get your hands down her pants after a first kiss. Kiss and make out for a long time, roam your hands lightly over her neck and cheeks, then progress to the back and sides, then start moving your kisses to her cheeks and neck and just slowly build up toward rubbing her inner thighs and lightly touching between her legs with her clothes on. You will be able to tell if she is getting uncomfortable, then you back off a bit and keep going for a while where she is comfortable before trying to escalate again. If she is into it she will most likely start touching you as well.

you need to be careful about the backing off and the escalating again bit. she may only be willing to go so far. That is why communication in a couple is so important, you need to feel that you can talk to her and vise versa. You need to hear what the other is saying and understand it as well.

[EvilEvilKitten]

She will TELL you. If not by words, then by her actions. But the point is to follow her lead.

[dancingdoc2]

Please look at the Index and then read the article that addresses the strategy of "Implied Consent".

There are different approaches for different people and also for different situations. Using Implied Consent will test your signals