The 28 year old virgin

[sera300]

[quote=johnnymac57;221862]

Originally Posted by sera300

Write 4 descriptors here of your best qualities [either noticed by yourself or described as from a friend]:

1-Sense of humour (which dissapears when I am nervous)
2-good listener
3-girls have told me I have nice hands
4-I am strong and fit

There is an excellent place to begin; go out and listen to what women are telling you and ask questions...use your sense of humor to break the ice and open the doors. All sound as if you have good attributes; I picked up on your sense of humor immediately; and you did not get defensive with any one's advice.

You have the world to gain and no reason to be self-conscious. You have much to offer and let the attitude flow of these attributes...let them be visible to women...that will give you confidence. Being a virgin; that is an easy remedy if you view it as a handicap. Not many women would think odd, if you were getting intimate, being truthful, and you were open to new adventures. It's just your attitude towards it.

When I am nervous, I fidget! keep the humor, it's a great quality and relax!
When you get nervous ask her something about herself that you would like to know. Women really do not bite!

[EvilEvilKitten]

Find a nice cougar interested in young men.

[johnnymac57]

[quote=sera300;221864][quote=johnnymac57;221862]

Thanks for your help. It is easy to tease and look down on people who are in my situation. I am glad you gave me some positive input, and didn't cut me down. It is ladies night at my local pub on Tuesday, I will go over and talk to some of them instead of sitting in the corner joking around with my sports buddies.

[johnnymac57]

Will masturbation help prepare me in any way for sex? or is it like hitting against the wall in tennis?

[sera300]

[quote=johnnymac57;221873][quote=sera300;221864]

Originally Posted by johnnymac57

Thanks for your help. It is easy to tease and look down on people who are in my situation. I am glad you gave me some positive input, and didn't cut me down. It is ladies night at my local pub on Tuesday, I will go over and talk to some of them instead of sitting in the corner joking around with my sports buddies.

There are plenty of women who wish men would stop talking to their friends and walk over! Too often when I go out with friends, there are a group of single men too entrenched in their "buddy talk" to wake up and see the women. So we, women, go home annoyed since their are the bar lushes who hit on you or the guys out for a once in a while chat with friends--busy talking! Next time our friends want to go out for a drink, we have sworn never again, and decline!

Why tease you; you waited due to your beliefs. Keep your values and make a choice. Find a good balance between both religion and core values/ethics.

Now decide are you looking for first a woman to show you the ropes the first time? Or to wait until you are in a relationship?

Masturbation helping? I am not a man but I really do not think so [I assume you do that regularly] since there are different experiences between the two--a live person v. your mind/body alone. If you have never masturbated; might want to try it before to see what feels good to you. he point is the majority of women enjoy making men happy sexually. You need to know what feels good to your body & how. I am with evil...find a eager cougar. The majority of men I have asked stated the first time was just that. When in a relationship sex changes from just good sex to love & sex. You have to find which you want first.

[johnnymac57]

yes I have masturbated before, of course. This cougar story: do you mean a slightly older woman say 30-35 who is a little lonely and will show me a few things?

What are the most common mistakes that a novice makes when having sex for the first time, and can they be avoided? Or is it like riding a bike (you have to fall a few times before you get the hang of it)

[wet_suit_one]

No worries my man. I was older than you, went to the pros (they are GODSENDS!!! Honestly!).. You pay your fee, you get your tail, you leave a no longer virgin man. It's all good.

I would suggest that you be sure to make full use of a review board in your area. Get someone who is well reviewed and loved by punters in that area. Otherwise you're taking a shot in the dark where you would have been better off beating off for a few more years.

By the way, dating sites are the way to go. I wish I had listened to that advice some years ago. Still though, the pros kick a$$!!!!

[lnt1103]

Yes, a cougar is vernacular for a woman who's into younger men.

Hey, don't worry so much. Even falling off the bike can be fun sometimes can't it? Truly, ya gotta just relax about all this. And I still say get the relationship first if that's where your heart is.

[goof'schik]

In your original post it's a month, then if it's longer than 6 months I'll go with a pro. why? what is your hurry? what will happen if you meet someone Tues nite and she wants to give it a year, are you not ready to commit and just want to lose your virginity?
I say relax, it really is something that is natural, read some of the sticky's about your first time it will help prepare you. When it's right then do it. I understand you were in this church for 24 years and decided to remain a virgin, those years ment something to you then don't throw all that out. Yes your views are changing but your past is still your past.

[constantlylearning]

Not sure about the Pro suggestion...........I think that anytime things are forced
tension has a tendency to arise. There are no right or wrong answers here. Just
go with the flow and things will probably work out just fine. The cougar suggestion
perhaps some merit. They can have a lasting impression on a younger guy for sure.
Cougar/Fan.........was probably not the best combination. They have a tendency
too show up outside the locker room at the worst times..........LOL