help im in need of advice

[rennie124hepc]

im thinkin about breakin my abstinence code. i need advice on what positions should i try and what should i do to get ready. and how to find the guy to do it with. what should i have in the room. what should i do i need advice before i make this next step.

[goof'schik]

why do you have a code of abstinence? and if you are not in a serious relationship with someone why? how long has it been? when did your last relationship end, and (if i may) why?

the most important thing i have in a room with me is a guy i have feelings for, and who has feelings for me.

[Brandye]

You do not need advice; you need a reality check. First check your crotch: if something is dangling there you are a boy and these are irrelevant questions. If nothing is hanging there, you are a girl. That is doubtful. And you would not be asking these questions.

[rennie124hepc]

one im a girl...sorry about not mentining that...and i have known him for about a year...and we have been off and on for a while...and its not really a code its that lil paper u sign when u were in school stating that i will wait for marraige before i have sex...but i just did it cause i had to and realize that i dont have to

[sera300]

Originally Posted by rennie124hepc

one im a girl...sorry about not mentining that...and i have known him for about a year...and we have been off and on for a while...and its not really a code its that lil paper u sign when u were in school stating that i will wait for marraige before i have sex...but i just did it cause i had to and realize that i dont have to

So, you took the "vow of virginity until marrige through abstinence"? This is the reason I despise people or institutions for making such definitive personal choices without proper information.

Based upon your personal thoughts of who you wish to be with and are you just doing this to loose your virginity; select a well experienced man a few years older than yourself. Preferably you have a male friend who may be willing to help you out. BE CERTAIN YOU TRUST THEM & IF YOU CHOSE TO STOP, CHANGING YOUR MIND THEY WILL HONOR THIS. Read through the threads of Birth control, know how your own body works first, and have lube if needed. 2 forms of BC; one for you and he uses a condom.

Think through why you wish to do this, the potential outcomes, and be safe. Generally women can find a male friend who can help out, if that is your choice. Think & read before you leap...and be certain this is a person who you trust & has respect for you.

[dancingdoc2]

Welcome to the SI101 Board and its Forums. I hope you enjoy participating.

Here are some articles that I believe you should read first and foremost. See the Index at the top of your main screen for more worthwhile and helpful discussions.


Am I Ready For Sex?


I'm Ready for SEX! (or am I?) I really want to do it.

Chapter One in a series (Scroll down to read each chapter along with readers' comments):
INTERCOURSE / ORGASMS / and the gentle art of Humping

Whenever you do decide the time is right to have intercourse, please take responsibility for your own welfare and future by using a contraceptive. In addition, insist that your partner wear a condom. DO NOT rely upon just one form of contraception and certainly not just a condom. At the very least you should also use a spermicide.

I understand the curiosity and desire to learn about the unknown, however, your reason for proceeding is not sufficient reason. Many girls now older and wiser are sorry they did not wait. If you are a teen it is doubtful you can make this informed decision because you simply do not have enough of life's experiences under your belt; therefore, I recommend waiting until you have more order and maturity in your life.

There are more important pursuits than intercourse. The first is learning to masturbate. Have you begun doing this and if so are you now able to achieve climaxes regularly and consistently? If "no" to either one, then I recommend devoting some time and effort to developing this most important aspect of your womanhood.

[goof'schik]

So this isn't breaking your code of abstinence, it's loosing your virginity. This guy you've been on and off for a year wants it right, or you're dust in the wind? Grab a handful of sand and throw it in his face.
Yes the piece of paper you signed is just that a piece of paper, just like the piece of paper that tells someone to stay away from someone else (restraining order). Can you go talk to the teacher in who's class you signed that paper? Or a friend that was in that class with you.
Think long and deep, this is a life changing issue. You can't go back once you've done it. And I don't want you to see that you made a mistake and wish you had just stayed a virgin. Read what Doc has suggested and best wishes.

[CleverName]

Originally Posted by rennie124hepc

and its not really a code its that lil paper u sign when u were in school stating that i will wait for marraige before i have sex...but i just did it cause i had to and realize that i dont have to

Just to make sure I am reading this right, you HAD to sign it, or you WANTED to?

[Mr. Saint]

Oh man, those abstinence pledges are such bullshit. They tried to make me sign one in both high school and middle school. It is absolutely disgusting that a school tries to manipulate kids in to signing something they don’t understand. My advice is start by tearing up that stupid piece of paper. Then think for your self to determine if you really want to have sex and if you are ready for it. These pledges are nothing more the religion wiggling its way in to our educating. Sorry I guess I am just ranting so I will end it here.

[sera300]

Originally Posted by CleverName

Just to make sure I am reading this right, you HAD to sign it, or you WANTED to?

Often these are schools where the paper is presented and the female promises through the paper to parents & community to remain a virgin. Looking at the tradition which began; if you did not sign it and "celebrate" you were ostracized by the school, peers, and parents.

The girls wore white dresses looking similar to wedding gowns! It did not mention a religious school; it was a community event which the schools encouraged. It would be like me promising my parents/or the Catholic Church to remain celibate until I would remarry--sorry, not happening since it's my business & my choice.

However, in the OP's case, I would use caution and if you choose find your sexuality slowly. Unlike many other's which may be on the board, myself included, had a boyfriend, ragging hormones and stumbled upon sex. It was a natural process, not just oh, let's switch it up.