Too Sensitive

[thefeelingoffeelingunique]

My boyfriend and I have been experimenting for a while and things are going pretty good, besides the fact that I have a very sensitive clit, but only when I'm turned on. If he touches it when I'm not very turned on, I can hardly feel it, but when I am turned on, it's too intense, even when he is being gentle. It's so intense, it's on the line between intense and painful. I get involentary body spasms and it's embarrasing. He just says I have to get used to it and is very patient and gentle. I was just wondering if this is normal and I need help. I'm sorry if this has been talked about before and I missed it...

[dastranger]

Originally Posted by thefeelingoffeelingunique

My boyfriend and I have been experimenting for a while and things are going pretty good, besides the fact that I have a very sensitive clit, but only when I'm turned on. If he touches it when I'm not very turned on, I can hardly feel it, but when I am turned on, it's too intense, even when he is being gentle. It's so intense, it's on the line between intense and painful. I get involentary body spasms and it's embarrasing. He just says I have to get used to it and is very patient and gentle. I was just wondering if this is normal and I need help. I'm sorry if this has been talked about before and I missed it...

This is completely normal. Just take things slowly and lead him to more indirect contact on your clitoris. Many women find direct stimulation on the clitoris too intense and (for some) downright painful.

[dancingdoc2]

Have him use the indirect approach. Fold the labia over the clitoris and massage it through them.

Another alternative is to tug, rub, and massage one of the labia and have these actions stimulate the clitoris indirectly in this manner.

[Brandye]

You are quite normal. So, regrettably, is your boyfriend. Many women have the extremes in sesitivity between when their clitoris is safely tucked under the hood and when it is engorged and standing proud. Young men typically treat stimulation of the clitoris as they want their penis stimulated. That is usually too intense for the clitoris.

The next time they become confused is when the clitoris retracts. As a woman nears orgasm, the clitoris remains engorged but actually retracts into the body to protect itself from over stimulation. At this point, men too often dig deeper and that is enough to turn any of us off.

Doc is right on. Gently guide him to less direct stimulation and then teach him to maintain his pressure and movement allowing you to adjust to what you need at the moment.

[megzpicky]

it is very normal. i have the same problem. he just need to be very gentle and i think that you will eventually feel better and it wont be so painful. hang in there girl theres nothing wrong with ya.

[johnnymac57]

I saw this one adult video where the women had a similar thing, her vagina was quivering a lot (but not the rest of her body) it looked like she was rather enjoying it, and the guy who was with her loved it and kept saying how good it felt. He said it was the best feeling ever.

I guess that kind of spasm just in the vaginal area could be great for both partners. As a guy I wonder whether I would be able to handle the extra movement and pulsating, or whether it would make me come too early. Still I would love to experience that though.

Do you ever have an experience like hers, or is it always too intense for you?

[Brandye]

Do not use porn videos as sex training. Women can learn to control muscles to do that. It is similar to body builders being able to flex individual muscles.

Yes, sometimes the vulva (you were NOT looking at the vagina - an internal organ) and other external genitalia do quiver as you describe. But only on demand for women who have specifically developed the skill. I guess at a half million per production, I could learn. Otherwise, why bother. It feels great when it happens naturally; why lose that part of natural orgasm?

[johnnymac57]

Thanks. I hope one day that it will happen naturally for the women that I am with. that will be great!

[dancingdoc2]

Originally Posted by Brandye

Many women have the extremes in sensitivity between when their clitoris is safely tucked under the hood and when it is engorged and standing proud. Young men typically treat stimulation of the clitoris as they want their penis stimulated. That is usually too intense for the clitoris.

The next time they become confused is when the clitoris retracts. As a woman nears orgasm, the clitoris remains engorged but actually retracts into the body to protect itself from over stimulation. At this point, men too often dig deeper and that is enough to turn any of us off.

Guys! the clitoris is like the Penis albeit in miniature and without a Urethra, yet it must be handled much differently when pleasuring a woman. All those sensitive nerve endings are highly concentrated unlike they are in the Glans. Another analogy is comparing the sensitivity of the Glans covered and protected by a Foreskin with a circumcised penis. Unfortunately, not many adult men can make that comparison unless they were circumcised later in life and the nerves have had many months to adapt to their new surroundings becoming dulled by being in constant contact with clothing and the elements.

My point is that the tip of the clitoris that is equivalent to the Glans must be handled with the care of a light touch. This is best accomplished using a grazing action and a well lubricated finger--or moist tongue. Work together with her in order to learn how much pressure is best for any given time. This is where giving feedback is important. Now, refer to Brandye's recommendations, above, for how to proceed and in partnership.