Doing the right thing in sex-life ... Hey :)

[KMB]

Hi, I'm Katherine and I turn 17 on the 27th of this month.

I hope it's ok if I start this thread. I looked in your rules and It looked fine.

I just wanted to say, I want to do the right thing in Sex life. I know I will, but I'm worried that a mistake might happen. Which I wouldn't be surprised it could happen.

I found the person I want to have sex with and he feels the same but we both agreed to wait.

I've had to thoughts if I want to be pregnant or not. I'm just worried about the delivering the baby.

I'm sorry if I'm not making any sense. Talking about different topics here lol.

I hope I do the right thing on this forum too by following your advices and reading others as well.

[dancingdoc2]

> I just wanted to say, I want to do the right thing in Sex life. I know I will, but I'm worried that a mistake might happen. Which I wouldn't be surprised it could happen.

If you want to minimize the chances of becoming pregnant, use the pill. He must also wear a condom. If for some reason you cannot use the pill or some other high reliable form of contraceptive, then at least use a spermicide along with the condom.

Birth Control Failure Rates

> I found the person I want to have sex with and he feels the same but we both agreed to wait.

Am I Ready For Sex?
A good choice until you have a handle on your future.

> I've had to thoughts if I want to be pregnant or not. I'm just worried about the delivering the baby.

Delivering the baby is generally the easy part. Most women will report that as painful as it might be, they tend not to remember it afterward.

What is more important is then what? How do you propose to raise the infant? Do you have sufficient money for food, diapers, health care, baby sitters, insurance, clothes, medicines, travel, and the many other expenses that will likely come up?

Are you prepared to have the future plans for you life forever changed? What about college? Finding a career that pays a decent salary? If you plan on having one or the other set of parents babysit more than once in a blue moon or if you expect them to pitch in--think again! OK, that's you; what about him? What proof do you have that he will continue to stick around and pitch in? His word?????? Statistically, most young single fathers cut and run, regardless of what they say in the heat of passion. Ask the same questions about him. Personally, I'd wait until your mid to late twenties or later. Live life, first. You have your teen years to enjoy. You have to have time in the early adult years to find yourself and your place in the world. You and a husband should enjoy life together for a few years before settling down. While doing this, you should be banking lots of money into savings for a house, your child's future, and other family and personal reasons.

Being responsible for a baby is real life, not fantasy. Caring for a baby requires lots of money and all of your time 24/7.

> I hope I do the right thing on this forum too by following your advices and reading others as well.

Of course you do. All we ask is that you be courteous and helpful when replying.

[Dawn80]

The least of your thoughts should be the delivery of the baby.....that is a short term pain....having a child is a FULL TIME RESPONSIBILITY! Please consider the option of birth control....I know that your hormones and your mind is telling you that you desire a baby right now....I have been there and done that....biologically, women are sent these signals when they are PHYSICALLY ready...but not always mentally or emotionally ready.
I guess I look at having children as THE MOST AMAZING thing that a pair of people can do....and also the most responsibility. Please take the time right now to think about your future and question whether or not you want to be so selfish and bring another life into this mix. PLEASE BE ADULT in this one issue in your life.

[KMB]

Don't worry I'm thinking about my future besides sex that's for sure. I am not going to let myself down!

I have a job in mind,

know your both right about the taking care of a baby and delivering the baby.

I just havn't done it yet.

I'm just telling you what I feel about it.

Man I have so much to learn it's so not funny.

I know I'm ready for sex but not ready to have a baby.


:: nervous::

^^

I know I probably should focus on other important stuff for the future besides sex and babies. I just love my boyfriend so much I wish I could do it with him.

I'm sure it's normal to think of the delivery of the baby, but at teens it's a little weird because that's kind of young to worry and I'm sure I don't understand a lot of it. I'm sure it's fine just a little painful.

[dancingdoc2]

Your hormones are causing you to think about having babies; his hormones are causing him to figure out ways to get his rocks off.

Your interest in your boyfriend is more romantic in concept and wanting to be close. Making out, fooling around, having oral sex or even intercourse are ways to become closer; his interest is more self centered. "What can I say/do that will let me get my rocks off and better yet have her touch me in order to do it." The problem with the "I say" aspect of this is that you have to take everything he says with a pound, not a grain of salt.

Somewhere within these two extremes there has to be a happy medium that teens can live with. One way is to get him more interested in just hugging and snuggling and to point out the benefits of just doing this. Guys tend to think of this as a quick means to an end rather than an end in and of itself. If, as your relationship grows, you want to help him release his pent up sexual tension, then help him to connect this act to one of being an outward expression of love. The same goes for you with him. If you don't show him the way, he will likely spend the next several years just plotting ways to gain relief on a regular basis and you'll be left feeling empty and wondering if this is all there is.

Thank you for adding to your original post. You seem to have a level head.

As for intercourse, it is natural for both guys and gals to want to do this. What people do not realize until older and more experienced is that in and of itself the act is not the be all end all that we fantasize it will be. Oh, yes! intercourse is great and it has a way of melding the psyches into one for a moment in time, yet as pleasurable as this is, it tends to come in second to the sensations we experience along the way. A hand job well done, oral stimulation incorporating enthusiasm and soft wet lips and a dexterous tongue, can humble the most macho of men, and when the two are combined--make him beg for more and mercy at the same time. If standing, his knees will buckle and he'll go crashing to the floor. If reclining, he will be so much putty in your hands. The dynamic duo of oral and manual stimulation together is that intense. Intercourse has more to do with the emotions than the physical and for a lot of young couples who are not yet quite to this level, their initial explorations into this often leave them feeling let down.

As for satisfying your curiosity about pregnancy and delivering a baby, I suggest asking several women for their insight. Ask both new mothers and women who have been raising children for a while.

[Brandye]

Read Am I Ready? as Doc suggests, again. And then again. You are 17. What percent of women having babies as teens end up as single mothers with no real education or decent paying job. As I understand the States, your medical care would even be in jeopardy.

Want to learn about sex and protecting yourself? We are here to help. Jumping all the way from virginity to motherhood on you first post raises a few eyebrows. Think a bit and then give us questions to deal with. Like how you can protect yourself.

[KMB]

I asked my mom about delivering a baby and C section. My mom says it's better to have the baby deliverd then having the doctors taking the baby out. Which I totally think delivering would be better.

I won't talk about that now since I got quite a while to go before that.

I do want to make my love life with Tim a great part of my life. I want to do the right thing.

I've been wondering if I could spend more time with him but it's hard because he's really busy.

[Ducy]

This post is confusing the heck outa me lol. All I understood was that you turn 17 on the 27th...congrats. I turn 18 that day.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Dancing doc - OH they remember all right! Delivering the baby is NOT the easy part - not until you've had 12 of them at least. They might say differently because they have decided it was worth it or they were drugged.

NO SEX until you're on The Pill - check out the various varieties available - and he's committed to wearing a condom each and every time. If you are going to indulge in adult behavior - you have to be adult about it.

NO BABIES until you are married.

[Dawn80]

I am trying to keep my emotions in check here and not say anything offensive, due to personal experience...Listen to EEK....She knows what she is talking about. When I was your age, I specifically remember feeling the EXACT same way that you do now. I felt I was ready for a baby....I CRAVED a baby....it was almost like an urge interrupting every moment. I even went as far as meeting with my doctor to discuss the best way to go about becoming pregnant....
She told me she saw young women like me in her office every day. Biologically, your body is sending you signals that you are ready to carry a baby. You may not be able to see beyond that right now....but I can assure you that there is so much more to having a baby than hormones.
I thought I was prepared to have a baby, no matter what the cost....and my doctor asked me: "Why do you want to have this baby?"...before I could answer, she said the only reason to have a baby is because YOU HAVE SOOOO MUCH LOVE TO GIVE, unconditionally....not because you WANT someone to GIVE love to YOU...babies are humans, but they are also simple creatures. They do not care if you have slept 3 hours in a 72 hour period, they want you NOW! That opened my eyes.
Now, I am engaged and I have been planning our future pregnancy down to the last detail in an effort to make sure everything is just right...that is the least I can do for our future child.
Please trust my words....my own "mother" put me up for adoption when I was 19 months old because her 'love child' turned out to be more than she was willing to take on by herself. I was successfully adopted into a wonderful family in the end.....but do you think that doesn't effect me today????!!!!
This will sound a bit harsh....but take it from someone who has had to ask why their mom didn't want them....'
GROW UP! BABIES ARE NO CHILD’S-PLAY! IF YOU WANT A CHILD...YOU BETTER MAKE DAMN SURE YOU ARE PREPARED FOR A CHILD! OTHERWISE YOU WILL ONLY F#CK BOTH YOUR LIFE AND YOUR CHILD'S LIFE!