lasting longer

[hehehe]

I know i know this question has been asked very often.

I just started having intercourse about 3 months ago. In that three months i have had sex about 20 times. At first i thought i would last longer as time went on. But that hasn't happened. If i had to guess i last about 2 min and maybe five if i go again right after i get hard for the second time. There isn't much of a difference if i do foreplay before or not. I have no control over my orgasm, grrr. I have read that article Squeeze & Training Exercise. but right now i got no girlfriend as of last Sunday And you need a partner for that. But before the relationship went bad we tried but didn't get much results.
Ive tried to completely think a but un arousing things to see if it would help, but it doesn't and its not fun thinking about un arousing things while having sex. Ive also heard that antidepressants work to last longer but i don't want to have to take pills for this problem. I need to solve this problem. Cause it was part of the cause of the break up. I wish i could go for at least 20 to 30 min. But be able to control it to the point i can orgasm anytime during that 20 30 min.

I doubt ill ever get this problem solved. Im just not one of the lucky ones. I knew i would have this problem before i started having sex. Just because of how long i last masterbating. Even when i do the stop and go thing. Just if you need to know im 25.

Thanks for any help that can be given. If there any other website you can direct me to. And should i go to the doc for this problem? Would they have have a solution?

[Ducy]

Stop worrying...just relax. I mean I worried alot about lasting, and it just caused loads of problems so just try not to worry and youll get better with time.

[Brandye]

Bring her off first and do not worry about it. Many women are most receptive right after orgasm.

[hehehe]

ya but some woman the intercourse part is the most important part. The last girl i dated was really hard to give her an orgasm. Out of all the time we had sex i was only able to give her one orgasm. And she says herself that its rare unless she uses i vibrater directly on her clit. And i want to see some results. I dont want to look back after 5 years and its the same thing. And i just want it to last longer cause sex is funner and i feel i could continue for a long time if it wheren't for my problem. Ducy how much of an improvement have you gotten over time? I dont want to just do nothing.

[Brandye]

You sound more intent in convincing yourself that you are a stud rather than convincing a partner that you are a good lover.

[hehehe]

I'm not trying to convince myself of anything. I'm just try to do some needed self improvement. I do want to become really good in bed. I don't think I'm all that bad in bed considering I'm new to it. Ive had to make sure I'm good at foreplay so i can compensate. But it ends to quickly for me not only for the girl.

Oh well, i guess I'm going to have to put up with it. Its so disappointing when it happens. Its always the same thing every time. And sometimes i can see the disappointment in the girls eyes.

[dancingdoc2]

At first i thought i would last longer as time went on. But that hasn't happened. If i had to guess i last about 2 min and maybe five if i go again right after i get hard for the second time. There isn't much of a difference if i do foreplay before or not.**

How long do you last when you masturbate? Your answer will be insightful.

Because you are lasting longer than ~1 minute, you do not suffer from Premature Ejaculation, rather, simply an untimely climax. Regardless, the end result is the same as is the fix, being in mastering the exercise (when you have a partner) and using the squeeze technique or stop 'n go methods as a back up.

If you can last a long time when masturbating and can pick when you want to go on and enjoy a climax, then you can do the same with intercourse. Just because a hand for one and a loose fitting "glove" for the other are providing the stimulation, should not matter in the overall scheme of things. What does matter is in being able to recognize and associate those sensations that immediately present just prior to reaching the point of no return--and being aware or conscious enough to pause or stop until the sense of urgency subsides.***

I have no control over my orgasm, grrr.

**If you can pick the time you climax when masturbating then you do have control over your orgasms.

My suggestion for the future is to begin intercourse earlier when you are not so highly aroused. The intent is to permit you to stroke for a longer period of time all the while building your arousal.

Less (intense) foreplay might also be worthwhile. Even if you become very highly aroused from this activity, pause and let that sense of immediacy and urgency and the pins and needles and burning sensations go away.

***Once you can associate those sensations that immediately precede an orgasm, and are able to have a clear head, you just have to make a conscious decision (effort) and will yourself to stop moving.

I have read that article Squeeze & Training Exercise. but right now i got no girlfriend as of last Sunday And you need a partner for that. But before the relationship went bad we tried but didn't get much results.

How long did you practice. I believe I mentioned in the article that this is not a "quick fix"--it takes some time and effort. Don't forget, you still have the squeeze technique, and, pausing or the stop 'n go, whichever seems appropriate in the heat of the moment. Key to all is in being able to recognize when the trigger point is being approached and being able to make a conscious decision to change the course of events one way or the other.

Ive tried to completely think a but un arousing things to see if it would help, but it doesn't and its not fun thinking about un arousing things while having sex. Ive also heard that antidepressants work to last longer but i don't want to have to take pills for this problem. I need to solve this problem. Cause it was part of the cause of the break up. I wish i could go for at least 20 to 30 min. But be able to control it to the point i can orgasm anytime during that 20 30 min.

OK. So much for distractions. Same, too, for drugs. Forgetaboutit.

It is a reasonable goal to want to last longer and pick the time when you climax. Even without a partner for the time being, you have some techniques to use in order to help with your training or conditioning. As for lasting 20-30 minutes, here is something you should know: Prolonging intercourse is a good thing and can go on longer than this; however, my recommendation is to break this time frame into two or more segments. The reason is that many women report becoming sore, bored, and tired, if intercourse lasts longer than about ten minutes. That said, consider taking periodic breaks and revisiting the make out and the foreplay aspects of all this, again.

I doubt ill ever get this problem solved. Im just not one of the lucky ones. I knew i would have this problem before i started having sex. Just because of how long i last masterbating. Even when i do the stop and go thing. Just if you need to know im 25.

The definition of "luck" is when "opportunity meets preparedness". Other opportunities will present themselves as you continue to date and meet people and take a relationship with one to higher levels. You can continue with the exercise. In the meantime, you can take the matter into your own hands so to speak by working on learning what those feelings are when you have reached the plateau phase of your arousal, and, when you are just about to trigger an orgasm each time you masturbate. Not only is masturbation pleasurable, you should find that as time goes on you'll gain mastery over matter as you begin to acquire mind control.

Please read Chapter Four:
MORE: From bungling student to graduating Lover Cum Laude
Just scroll down to this part for more on this.

Thanks for any help that can be given. If there any other website you can direct me to. And should i go to the doc for this problem? Would they have have a solution?

I do not believe it is necessary to consult with a doctor about this just yet.

Resources:
http://www.jackinworld.com/library/science/physorg.html
http://www.jackinworld.com/expert/10selfcont.html

http://www.whitelotuseast.com/PremEjaculation.htm
http://www.whitelotuseast.com/EjaculationControl.htm

http://www.talksexwithsue.com/premature.html

[dj12345]

i have the same problem. i last under a min in sex and when i masturbate i am only 18

[hehehe]

How long do you last when you masturbate? Your answer will be insightful.

Um i last about ten minutes if i take my time with slow stroking, thats also with some stop and go. But less with one of those latex pussy's. and even less if i thrust into it. There a pretty big difference when i thrust into something instead of just stroking myself with it. Would it help if i masterbate more regularly? I dont masterbate often, about once a week.
Thanks for the great info

[dancingdoc2]

Thank you for answering the question. Ordinarily, and with a person who masturbates more frequently, my answer would be yes, masturbating an hour or so before making out will usually help a guy's staying power. You seem to have a much lower sex drive and I do not know how having two climaxes in a relatively short period of time will affect you. Can you and do you ever have more than one orgasm when you do masturbate? Yes or no, you might want to just masturbate beforehand and see what affect this has.