Want sex everyday - but he doesn't

[marija2m2]

ok i am new to sex
but not my boyfriend
mainly for now i want sex everyday
i just like the feeling of him being in me with an orgazim or not
he said that he cant have sex everyday cause that is pyshically exhausts him since he works alot?!
now the problem is that we have sex so far i havent had an orgazim
i am under alot of stress and i still need time to fully sexually open up
anyway ( i mean i cant even for a month have an orgasim even masturbating - what is common when i am understress or alot of pressure in life)
we have had sex one time that night and it lasts about hmm 45-60 mins
around that time
and then after about 30 mins i want more
now i havent had an orgasmed but he has
is this why i want more?
or is the problem that we have totally different sex drives
i am just wondering an am interested in different
opinons

thanks

[Brandye]

Imbalances in sexual desire can be a real stress on a marriage. How about a bit of pre-marital counselling? Perhaps with a sex therapist?

That is, if this is for serious.

[dancingdoc2]

> ok i am new to sex but not my boyfriend
mainly for now i want sex everyday

This is understandable. Understand, also, that as relationships evolve, the frequency generally declines. Differences in libido are common and often the norm. The solution is to negotiate a frequency the two of you can be happy with.

> i just like the feeling of him being in me with an orgazim or not
he said that he cant have sex everyday cause that is pyshically exhausts him since he works alot?!

Here are a couple of suggestions:
1. Plan your lovemaking sessions for a time when he is relaxed and refreshed, maybe arising early before work as one idea.
2. Snuggle and cuddle after dinner, nothing beyond this.
3. As above. He can help satisfy your needs without you doing much reciprocation

> now the problem is that we have sex so far i havent had an orgazim
i am under alot of stress and i still need time to fully sexually open up
anyway ( i mean i cant even for a month have an orgasim even masturbating - what is common when i am understress or alot of pressure in life)

So you have learned how to have and enjoy orgasms, it's just that life's struggles are preventing them from happening. Is this correct? Try #1.

It is important to understand that we do not give orgasms away. Each person is responsible for his/her own. All any of us can hope to accomplish is to help our partner achieve theirs. Has your boyfriend ever been able to help you climax? If not, and you are otherwise prepared and capable, I recommend that you show him how to stimulate you by taking his hand in yours and guiding his fingers over a few sessions until he learns to mimic your moves, rhythms, and pressures. Key to this is to provide verbal or non-verbal feedback on how you are responding to his caresses and for what you may need next.

Orgasms for women are problematic at best and must be worked up. It is important that you be receptive mentally and physically. Your hour long sessions are great because it can take a good 20 minutes to arouse a woman sufficiently to begin working on triggering an orgasm.

> we have had sex one time that night and it lasts about hmm 45-60 mins
around that time and then after about 30 mins i want more
now i havent had an orgasmed but he has is this why i want more?

More? Do you mean extending your love making to longer than an hour or an hour and a half? I'm not sure what you mean.

> or is the problem that we have totally different sex drives
i am just wondering an am interested in different opinons

Yes, different drives, which is normal
Stress
Fatigue, both normal

Discuss ways to get what you both want. Learn how often he would like to have intercourse or at least a hand job were it not for being tired.

What I find curious is his response that having sex exhausts him. Guys usually feel tired and physically spent after climaxing one or more times. This usually goes away after awhile, and is no problem if going to sleep at night. His statement causes me to wonder if there is a hidden meaning to it.

[marija2m2]

Originally Posted by dancingdoc2

> > we have had sex one time that night and it lasts about hmm 45-60 mins
around that time and then after about 30 mins i want more
now i havent had an orgasmed but he has is this why i want more?

More? Do you mean extending your love making to longer than an hour or an hour and a half? I'm not sure what you mean.


What I find curious is his response that having sex exhausts him. Guys usually feel tired and physically spent after climaxing one or more times. This usually goes away after awhile, and is no problem if going to sleep at night. His statement causes me to wonder if there is a hidden meaning to it.

First thanks for the reply
its very helpful

1. When he has had his orgasm he doesnt have anymore energy to go around one more time or have sex again i guess cause we take are time and i am totally in shape and he is out of shape
so that is what i ment i want more sex
i mean he starts to arrouse me again and then does nothing
I told him please dont do that if you plan on doing nothing. Since i get really easly arroused, but still havent had an orgasam but i believe i will solve tat problem soon enough

2.well he told me today that he cant have sex everyday since he has a busy day everyday and that it takes alot of energy away for him.
we usually do meet at night and sometimes he knows how to continue with his work after we meet since he works from home.


3. When i first met him i was really sexually attracted to him and that is why i had sex with him really fast but i told him listen you poured cold water over me and cooled me down when you hurt my sex ego!
We were out for lunch one day and I was horney as hell and he just brushed me off and said i'll see u tonight i have things to finish now
I was so crushed by this i went and ran for about 1 hour and then when i saw him i just kinda cooled off~sexually.
now i also said it was my fault that i didnt tell you that i was horney as hell and thought at that moment that you could just guess i was horney as hell..
NOw what happened to me is that
I closed off and i am not sure how to open up again
i mean i am stuck here
I told the man dont worry about my orgasam since i have tried for a month to have one (selfservice) and just lastnight i was able to get one
I guess I mentally locked up cause of the sex.
now i hope i didnt mentally lock up cause of the cold water he poured over me

The thing is that he is a very cuddly guy
I am use to guys being almost very aggressive about having sex!
I guess i just have to tell him
somethings that i figured out that turn me on
like feeding my sex ego telling me things i want to hear over the day so i can buld a sex tention in my head

[marija2m2]

Originally Posted by Brandye

Imbalances in sexual desire can be a real stress on a marriage. How about a bit of pre-marital counselling? Perhaps with a sex therapist?

That is, if this is for serious.

we just started dating about 1 month so sex theraphy isnt needed right now i want to see how we can resolve this lucky he is very comunucative

[dancingdoc2]

He needs to learn time management and get his priorities in order and delegate his time better.

As long as work is #1 and you are #2 or less, I rather doubt anything but a bat upside the head is going to wake him up to what just left him.

When the two of you do get romantic to the point of doing it, encourage him to help you orgasm first, as many times as you need, then him, then if you still want more--you, again. Keep in mind that very few sexual positions provide the necessary friction your pieces-parts require, so what a skilled, knowledgeable, caring, lover will do is to reach around and finger his partner while stroking. If intercourse has yet to begin, or has finished, same technique applies.

If he is too tired to continue to finger you after his climax, have him get up and walk around a few minutes, go out to the kitchen and get some water, anything to stimulate him so he won't feel drowsy. He can then continue to pleasure you manually and orally neither of which requires much effort.

[arutha]

I am in a similar sort of situation.. My gf has a much higher sex drive than I do. I find it difficult to go more than once in a night now because the first time obviously makes me want it less and makes me pretty tired.

Try to get him horny again, and keep him horny after the first time. Hold onto him and kiss him a lot after the first time, then after a bit of time has passed start heating it up again by stimulating him lightly. Just slowly and gently while you are still talking and holding each other to get him hard again and build his arousal and desire.

[marija2m2]

thanks for the advice arutha
ill try and see what happens

[LoveGems]

luckily I have never had this problem, we both have high sex drives.

all I can advise to you is don't push him, if he isn't in the mood then don't force it. Try using your seductive side and try to get him in the mood, then if that doesn't work, then just wait until he is ready himself.

[marija2m2]

ok we didnt have sex when i had my period
so it really really made me horny
i mean he was to.
this one night he got hard twice with a break in between
I was finally happy
then the other time i got so horny massaging him since
it relaxed me and him we were kissing and i was rubbing up
against him and got an orgazzim
I was happy
but last time i was rubbing up against him i was getting again really horny
and then he asked me to move
when i did it killed the mood for me alsi i was super exhausted
from that day.
now i figured out my prob,
we dont spend enough time on forplay
how do i tell him
i need him to spend more time on this
with out me sounding bad