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Old 10-08-2007, 11:32 PM
 
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Question Talking about sex

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Last edited by the_saint_dante; 03-22-2008 at 02:43 PM..
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Old 10-09-2007, 01:27 AM
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Welcome to the SI101 Board and its Forums. Please read the Index and Posting Guidelines found in the Board Notices section at the top of the main page.

You will find useful articles in the Index.

> Would it be safe to ask her if she liked the masturbation?? ...in the course of two weeks we did it several times so I don't know if she simply wanted to please me or really did like it.

This is a valid concern, yet as part of your continued Sex Ed., let me suggest that if she did not like it, she would not be eager to repeat what you did for her. Her lack of a demonstrative response is what is known as "Implied Consent". In other words, she is giving you consent silently by not stopping you.

Another part of what you need to learn is that silence is not golden. The two of you need to talk and to share ideas, likes, dislikes, and so on. Just hold your conversations at times when you are not about to get romantic.

None of us are mind readers and it is silly to believe that we become great lovers by having some sort of innate knowledge. While a woman may know the basics like how to stroke a penis, and, a guy may understand the basics of massaging a clitoris, there is much more to all this than the mechanics. There is the Fine Art that is unique and specific to each one of us. As one example, when you first learned to masturbate, you quickly settled into a routine that probably does not vary much from day to day, except for experimentation out of curiosity or boredom. The mechanics of stroking a penis is different for each guy; therefore, it is necessary to show our partner how we do it and to guide her hand several times until she learns to mimic our technique of motion, rhythm, and pressure. The same holds true for her with you. How is all this accomplished? It begins with communication in which each of you gives feedback (verbal or non-verbal) on how you are responding to your partner's caresses, and, for what you may need--NOW~!

As for #2, what do you consider perversion? What does she?

As you grow older and acquire more insight and knowledge, you will discover that very little is considered actual perversion. What an individual may not like today, s/he may gain a greater appreciation for later in life.

> how would I initialize such conversation with someone as apprehensive about sex as she is?

Why not tell her that you would like to sit and have an informative discussion on love and romance and sex and would she like to participate and share information as well as how fast to go and what each of you is willing to do, and see how she responds.

While she may be apprehensive, you can't be doing much if anything wrong or the red flags would go up and she'd be stopping you one way or another. On the other hand her confidence and trust in you will go up a notch or two if she understands that you have her best interest at heart, that neither of you are clairvoyant, and that you want to have some guidelines. Don't ask her what she doesn't like because she probably will not know until she accumulates some experiences.

I hope this is of help. Got questions?
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The feet may learn the steps;
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The Tango smolders and burns. It ignites the
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Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass,
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Dance as if nobody is watching.

Last edited by dancingdoc2; 10-09-2007 at 01:29 AM..
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Old 10-09-2007, 05:13 PM
 
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