Husband Needs Help!!!

[MarriedNoSex]

I love my wife unconditionally, even with no sex ever i would still love her. But we have been married for 9 months now and still ahve not had sex. We are young (20,21) and were both virgins when we got married. On our wedding night we tried but we barely even got in at all (maybe 1/8th of the penis) because she said it hurt so bad. I would love to be able to say its because i am just so big but i do not think that is the case, i am not extraordinarily thick or anything like that.

Since our wedding night 9 months ago we have continue to try here and there but still cannot get in at all. We have spent most of our time over the last 9 months loosening her up by fingering her. She does not were tampons and she never played any sports or anything (she does regularly run and work out) and it took us about 5 months just to get comfortable with one finger in her. And that was mostly because i insisted that we try 2 and then one finger wasn;t so bad. Now we have been trying with 2 fingers and it is getting better but it still hurts her so badly.

She has gone to the gyno and they say that nothing is wrong, only that she is just a tight girl. I have tried to look around for relaxing positions, using lube, pillow underneath her but there is very little progress. She is very insistant on trying more and more but it seems like we just aren't getting anywhere.

Can someone please give me some advice on how i can make it less painful, more relaxing, less frightening, or just easier? Is there anything that we can use to numb her or take away the pain?

Part of it can definitely be my fault too. I am a virgin, i have never done anything with anyone besides my wife, so we dont even know what to do. When we try i do not know any easier positions than the standard missionary position and i even have trouble pushing in more because she holds on to me so tightly. We have talked about having her on top but she is just to scared to try it that way.

Sorry for making this so long i just do not know what else to do.

Thanks!!!

[Brandye]

Do a google on "vaginismus" and then find a gyn who is willing to do some real work with her or refer to a qualified sex therapist. Any decent gyn has dealt with this issue and should be sensitive to it.

An alternative issue could be an extremely tough hymen. That, too, should be dealt with easily by a cometent gyn. My bet is the former. The more you "fail," the more likely you will continue to have the same problem. Get help.

This appears in less than 2% of all women to the extent you describe. I would guess that many more experience vaginismus but work it out on their own.

[MarriedNoSex]

Oh my gosh... I looked it up on google and it seriously sums up EVERYTHING. That is the exact problem we are having. Thank you so much for your help. you have really helped out our situation. I didn't know where else to turn and you helped me out so quickly.

Thank you so much!!!