scared the first time'll hurt?-some experiences

[prettynonsense]

this is for all girls who are scared stiff that their first time will hurt. i too was in the same boat a few months ago but now all that is past! just thought i'd share a few things that helped me get over it...
1. like all the pro's here say, LOTS of lube! that means lots of foreplay too. no need to bother with lube condoms or commercial lubes, etc... theres simply nothing like good ol' spit! get him to smear like a LOT of saliva on his penis, and you can put lots on the vagina and the surrounding area too... or a mix of both your spits too, its kinda romantic as well hehe. alternatively, you can lick each other, which obviously has added benefits. besides, saliva is completely safe, and always lots available free of cost :-)
2. for some ppl fingering first is a good warm up, but others (like me) may not really feel much. before he fingers you, DO IT TO YOURSELF FIRST. maybe when youre alone, and feelin wet n horny, put loads of spit on your finger n insert it gently. and you will find that its actually quite a cavern in there once you get a lil deep. do the math, and you will find that fittign his penis in there is really no big deal. bye bye mental block.
3. it also helped for me to put in a lot more foreplay between being fingered and actual sex. kinda refilled the wetness.
4. sometimes it still hurts when he just enters when we do it after a long time, but often when he goes all the way in, the pain magically disappears. so instead of clenching and worrying if it hurts, grit your teeth, and ask him to slide in, not too roughly. (should be smooth enough if youre well lubricated) and have him just potter around inside, thrust gently without pulling all the way out before each thrust. and when youre warmed up a bit, you can get down to the real business.
4. this might sound a lil weird, but if u still find yourslf worrying how much its gonna hurt with his *huge* organ in there, think of the last time u were constipated, and the enormous turd that ripped through you, and though it hurt in the beginning, it was really no big deal! well, think of the same lil very much bearable pain, with him next to you, and that nice feeling somewhere inside you.... it cant be THAT bad after all, can it?

[Ducy]

Nonsense...your right...number four is really really odd...for that matter maybe the ladies can give their men some laxatives so that the penis is a little easier to deal with when going in and out lol.

I give you props though....some interesting pointers that I have never heard.

Maybe a few things that you would like to add...I know these things simply because my girlfriend and what seemed to help her:

1...You have to want to have sex...obviously...but you have to want it to happen. My girlfriend really really wanted to have sex....(I’m 6 around and I had to be careful cuz sometimes 1 finger would be too much)...I guess you could consider her being horny, but idk all I know is she was really anxious (in a god way) and she was able to handle it no problem.

2...If it is still uncomfortable after he has been in for a bit....don’t be afraid to stop him....once again...it was a bit uncomfortable for my girlfriend when I first went in...so I pulled out, we made out a bit....and then we tried again...this time....no pain and she came twice.

3...Don’t feel like your gonna look ridiculous cuz you don’t know what your doing...of course you have know idea what your doing....but remember we have a few million years of instincts pushing us...I mean hey cave men didn’t have porn, or sex ed to give us an idea of what it is like. (Even though porn is a bit on the extreme side of a teaching spectrum but you get the idea.)

4...This ties in to 3 but for the guys....GUYS....COMPLIMENT YOUR GIRLFRIEND...DONT be like oh your pussy is so tight or anything like that...help her get rid of her inhibitions, tell her she looks amazing, if she is on top, tell her when it feels good. if it is hers or both of yours first time...DONT expect to try anything advanced just things like, missionary and inverted missionary. Luckily for me and my girlfriend we were both virgins, so neither of us had expectations or knew what to expect, so it was a good (albeit a quite amusing) learning experience.

5...Ladies...and Gentlemen....don’t be offended if your partner suggests something such as moving a different way...or telling you to slow down or change your rhythm....I mean hey sex is not only about having fun and pleasing each other, but its about learning about your partners body...their likes and dislikes...Do you really think that a great chef makes an amazing dish on his first try? no...it takes time, experience, and changing or adding ingredients...a pinch more foreplay a bit less tongue etc etc.

6...use two types of contraceptives....condoms and BC are the best...but spermicide and stuff works too...Worse case scenario you could use the morning after pill (but its not always the smartest thing)....this will help ease your fears of pregnancy, since after my first time me and my girl were stressed up until the second day of her period (her first was really bad and a lot different from usual so we had to wait to see if it evened out.)

Don’t mean to take your post pretty...but I figured since it is a thread on help, I figured it would be good if you had some extra perspectives.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Ducy - you made a slight error there on the last item: BCPs are for birth control but the condoms are used for two OTHER reasons 1. to stop any possible chance of STD transmission and 2. to share the responsibilties of being sexually active with the male. He also has to bear his share of the burden.

Inverted missionary = female superior - meaning she's on top just as 'male superior' is he's on top. Sorry, but I prefer scientific terminology as "missionary" etc. tend to have unattractive connotations.

For first timers - male superior is easiest and if she's warmed up enough, he will fit nicely. Commercial lubricants are much better than spit because they last longer, are more slippery, and are more hygenic. Condoms are mandatory.

If you're going to play - come prepared.

[Ducy]

Sorry I didnt mention that point EEK, I was just going off of my first time, I wasnt thinking of STD's cuz we were both our first, and she wasnt sexually active (kissing etc.) and I had made out and some touching so we werent worried. But yes condoms DO prevent std's well most of them, (HPV and Herpes can still be spread if im not mistaken)

[curious_woman]

One more thing to remember:

You can say NO or STOP and just try again. If your partner respects you, they will stop if you don't feel right or it hurts.

[KMB]

I'm both excited and scared about my first time, my boyfriend hasn't had sex before either.

I am very scared it will hurt, but I know once it happends it won't hurt that bad when other times come.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Each woman's first time is different because each woman is different in slight ways. Some discomfort MAY be experienced. There may or may not be any blood. You simply do not know beforehand. Just be properly prepared. Relax, Breathe calmly and deeply and keep your mind focused on pleasure.

[machine_rat]

Keep in mind that the classic 'first-time pain' comes from a more antiquated and 'proper' time when the girl's first time having sex was also the first time any sort of foreign object was thrust inside of her.

I'm not saying that everybody was a prude back then, but nowadays, there's definitly a lot more finger action going on than there used to. The pre-game warm up, practicing days, weeks or months leading up to the great cherry pop can do wonders to aleviate the pains.

[Suki2007]

Ugh...please don't ever use the term "cherry pop" again. I find it really juvenile. Not that you are, just the term is quite replusive, IMO.

[Hotaro]

In general the first time does hurt for the woman. As you said only foreplay and lube help. I do know some women are not hurt the first time, but this is more of an exception.