Am I impossible?! No orgasm - can't finish

[ultranew09]

My boyfriend and I have only had sex 3 times. Each time yes I felt pain and discomfort. I don't understand! The first time he went slow and all that.. the second time was less pain.. and the third time was even less pain. It really didn't hurt at all. But I didn't feel anything. Like it only really hurts in the beginning and just when it last a long time. Well I didn't feel anything.. good wise or even bad wise. Well he has eaten me out and fingered me but I haven't well finished. He knows i've never cum and I can tell he thinks badly of himself well even when I help myself I can't finish! Am I impossible?! I have never had an orgasm and it's so annoying! When he ate me out and it felt amazing. But I just couldn't finish! What am I doing wrong?

[dancingdoc2]

Welcome to the SI101 Board and its Forums. Please read through the Index. You will find it at the top of your Main page. It contains links to articles that address the most common questions and concerns people write in about.

> My boyfriend and I have only had sex 3 times. Each time yes I felt pain and discomfort. I don't understand! The first time he went slow and all that.. the second time was less pain.. and the third time was even less pain. It really didn't hurt at all.

If your hymen was intact then perforating it will likely cause some discomfort. Whether it was or that it eroded away over time, often being anxious and tense with what you are about to experience will cause the opening to be less compliant. Third, the vaginal opening is normally quite small and it can take some time to make it more compliant, particularly if a guy is fairly large.

It is great that your boyfriend took his time. How wet were you? Also, how wet was he? I ask the first question because if you were not sufficiently turned on or wet, then rubbing skin against skin can be uncomfortable. I ask the second because if his penis is not sufficiently lubricated either from some of your mucus, or, by adding a lubricant, this can also be a contributing factor.

> But I didn't feel anything. Like it only really hurts in the beginning and just when it last a long time. Well I didn't feel anything.. good wise or even bad wise.

It sounds like the situation is becoming better. Hang in there.

As for not feeling anything, the inside of the vagina is devoid of nerves so while you will have and enjoy a sense of fullness, you won't actually feel any contact between you. On the other hand, the vaginal opening outside and just inside is rich with sensitive nerve endings! While he may enjoy fingering you inside (not including the G-spot) you may prefer that he concentrate on the opening.

> Well he has eaten me out and fingered me but I haven't well finished. He knows i've never cum and I can tell he thinks badly of himself well even when I help myself I can't finish! Am I impossible?! I have never had an orgasm and it's so annoying! When he ate me out and it felt amazing. But I just couldn't finish! What am I doing wrong?

Probably nothing, it's just that you have yet to make the transition from a pre-orgasmic person into an orgasmic woman. Boys learn to masturbate and climax almost as a matter of fact right out of puberty; girls on the other hand learn much later in life, if at all. It is important for the two of you to understand that we do not give orgasms away. Each of us is responsible for our own. All any of us can hope to accomplish is to help our partner achieve his/her own. Here are some articles to read that will give you some insight into the female orgasm and how to achieve it.

The Anatomy of the Female "O", Answered by Brandye & Dancingdoc2 & Inspired by Godiva

Female Sexual Response

For Women Only- Help! Why Can't He Make Me Orgasm?

How Do I Get Him/Her to Orgasm From a Hand/Blow Job?

Once you learn how to masturbate and have connected all the sensitive nerve endings in your body to the pleasure center in your brain using the autonomic nervous system, and can do so consistently and reliably, then you show your boyfriend how you do it and guide his movements. There is more on all this in the one or more of the articles, above.

I hope this is of help. Got questions?

[ultranew09]

Aright. Well to answer your questions.. I was somewhat wet. Like I was really horny just eh wet though. He had a lubricated condom (her pleasure) but it was only uncomfortable in the beginning and at the end when I was getting tired. Well Idk I just didn't feel him inside of me. I felt/knew he was moving but like it wasn't a pain or a sensation. Just eh. Like what the heck. I must be impossible. When I masturbate like when I cum I only feel good for like 5 seconds and boom its over. I do the fingers and I do the water blahblahblah but it doesn't make a difference. How am I suppose to let him please me if I can't please myself?

[EvilEvilKitten]

Do your kegels. Relax and give yourself permission to orgasm. Stop "trying" to orgasm and relax, breathe deeply and calmly and let the sensations and feelings roll through you.

You're trying waaay too hard!

[ultranew09]

What exactly does doing Kegels do for you for pleasure during sex? And I have tried it and I don't really recognize that certain muscle.. how do you identify that certain one?

[sera300]

They allow you to tighten up enhancing pleasure for both partners...
http://www.med.umich.edu/1libr/wha/wha_kegel_crs.htm

http://www.sexinfo101.com/forum/inde...ed_topics.html

[EvilEvilKitten]

It is the muscle you use to try and stop the flow when you're urinating.

[Brandye]

We women have to learn to achieve orgasm; it is almost automatic in men. Visit the site clitical.com and learn to masturbate. All good things will flow from the first orgasm you achieve on your own.