Don´t feel anything when having sex

[Drusila]

Me and my boyfriend started to have sex for not so long ago, before that I have never had sex, but my problem is that I don´t feel anything when we have sex, there is just a little bit of pain in the start but after that i don´t feel anything special at all, what can I do to feel anything?

[dancingdoc2]

Hello, and welcome to the SI101 Board and its Forums. Please read the Posting Guidelines and the Index in the Board Notices section.

Please clarify for us what you mean by not feeling anything. Are you referring to not having any sensation within the vagina while being fingered or during intercourse; do you mean emotionally, or, physiologically?

If you are referring to the vagina, this is typical as the vaginal vault contains no nerves. (As our resident M.D., Brandye, states: if it did, giving birth would be impossible--or words to that effect.) What sensations you will feel is a sense of fullness that many women say is enjoyable. There are very sensitive nerve endings around the vaginal entrance outside and just inside.

Second to all this is the fact that each of us is responsible for our own orgasms. We do not give them away. All any of us can hope to accomplish is to help our partner achieve his/her own. That said, are you able to orgasm from masturbation? If not, then you must cross this bridge, first. Read through the Index, there are four or five articles that discuss the matter and offer solutions.

If this does not address your problem, please clarify it and I'll try, again.

[Drusila]

Thank you for the answer, and I notice myself now that I was a bit unclear in my post. I am mostly reffering to the vagina, in the foreplay I can feel really aroused but during Intercourse i first feel pain and after that nothing at all. Since I am new to sex i started this thread because I was curious since I don´t know how anything is suposed to be and feel.
I know that my boyfriend is abit disapointed that I don´t feel anything during sex and he is really afraid of hurting me so he isn´t so intrested in sex since he notice that it has mostly bad influence on me.
I have read that som woman doen´t feel anything during sex while some feel and think it is wonderful, is this true?

[EvilEvilKitten]

SEX IS AWESOME.

Now then, having cleared that up, you are probably tying too hard to orgasm, fearful of possible pain so anxious and therefore not relaxed. You're new so have you given yourself permission to enjoy sex? Do you masturbate to orgasm? If not, why not? Is your lover as unskilled as you are?

[Drusila]

Originally Posted by EvilEvilKitten

SEX IS AWESOME.

Now then, having cleared that up, you are probably tying too hard to orgasm, fearful of possible pain so anxious and therefore not relaxed. You're new so have you given yourself permission to enjoy sex? Do you masturbate to orgasm? If not, why not? Is your lover as unskilled as you are?

I am not afraid of pain anymore since I can´t even feel if he is inside me or not I noticed that yesterday when we had sex I didn´t feel him entering me and I didn´t feel it inside me at all even the pain I felt earlier when having sex was totaly gone. Once in a while i mastrubate and then I can get an orgasm, and yes my lover is as unskilled as I am.

[Ducy]

How often have you guys had sex?
I ask because my first time, was almost as if i was just sliding back and forth against my girlfriend, because I couldnt feel a thing. by the 4th or so time i could start to feel and by the 7th, it felt awesome....although not as great as EEK achieves im sure...

As Brandye has said in many posts, 25% or women never have an orgasm, 50% need clitoral stimulation and only 25% can orgasm from vaginal intercourse alone. That being said, (and your bf being so unskilled) try stimulating yourself during sex. Dont be afraid of hurting your boyfriends ego, because Im sure it will not only make him feel better (since your feeling pleasure) but it will turn him on. IDK a single man who would hate his girlfriend touching herself during sex

One of the greatest life lessons is that practice makes perfect...I doubt sex can ever be perfect...but is sure as hell doesnt hurt to keep practicing until you cant go anymore

[EvilEvilKitten]

Then you two will have to begin with learning your basic skills. Start with kissing, caressing, and manually stimulating each other to orgasm. Talk while doing this- coaching as it were. then move onto orally stimulating each other after doing all of the above. Just add it on the end as it were. Find the G-Spot and the posterior fornix and then, on him, find the P-Spot = learn to caress each of these to orgasm.
Combine two as in oral and -Spot or clitoral wit posterior fornix. Bytthis time you two will be superb at sex and will undoubtedly find sex as awesome as I do!

[Drusila]

Thanks Ducy and EvilEvilKitten for your great answers and advices I will try to inprove myself with help of what you have said.