Sex getting boring ...

[lustforlove]

after a year of being with the same guy i am getting really bored with sex, i dont want to because i love him dearly but everytime i suggest something to make it a little more interesting we do it once and it's great and then either he completly forgets next time round or as i try to do it agian he stops me. it's annoying me so much! what can i do?

[dancingdoc2]

This is definitely a guy thing--one in which many of us typically fall into. It is known as both complacency and "his comfort zone". He is happy with what works and sees no reason to change. He may understand intellectually that boredom may be a potential problem or that "variety is the spice of life" yet he either does not believe there is a problem or if he does, that his love will conquer all. Since I'm throwing cliches around, let me end with this one: "If Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy." You might ask him if he has heard of that one and then go on to explain why you are mentioning it.

I'd like to ask you how your love making sessions are overall. Are they generally satisfying? Are they fast and over with fairly quickly, or, do they usually last for quite a while? The reason I am asking is to learn where his focus is. If your sessions are somewhere between a speedy "wham, bam, thank you M'am" session and ones that last somewhat longer yet generally end before you want them to, I'd guess his focus is with himself and what pleases him and not you. If this is the situation, then I'd say you have a tough road to hoe. Either way, I believe the two of you need to sit down and have a chat at a time when you are not about to get it on and explain why exploration and variety are important to a couple's expressions of love. Try to get him to explain why he is so unwilling to incorporate some of these new methods or techniques that you like. If he likes some of them, then why is he so unwilling to incorporate them into his repertoire?

If he is unwilling to see the advantages of change and of expanding his game plan as you explain them to him; or, his steadfast unwillingness to learn more like reading a sex manual {The Joys of Sex)**, then I'd say you have a decission to make. Need I say more about that? What I will say one more thing about is when you do have a talk with him, be absolutely certain to play to his ego. You must be sure he understands that in having this conversation you are not attacking his ego, his prowess, or the way you make love (unless there is a problem with this); rather, that you find your love making to be great (if this is accurate) and you want to make it even better and this is why and how. Be positive and encouraging.

** Here is a copy of a recent post by Sera300:
Look on Amazon.com or such site, look for a not brand new book as well & they will ship it. Barnes & Noble or Ebay....
Look for the titled book "The Joy of sex; The Gourmet Guide to Making Love" sorry on the book name...the prices begin at about $10. Also bettersex.com has DVD series on sex positions, oral, advanced oral & anal. These DVD's are tutorials and put together well, not raunchy. You could watch them together. If you order a product from this site, they also include a free DVD of your choice.

[silentlover]

Things have also started to fall apart in my case too. Yeah it has been just about an year of our marriage and the sex life is already getting so dull for me. Now I blush at the advances of my wife as I fear she would feel bad if my true feelings are revealed. But then I know this cant go on for long, moreover she is surprised by this change in behavior from my side as it was me who always took the initiative when it was early days of our marriage and now the roles have reversed completely. Good that I found this place maybe I get some help to make things regain normalcy once again.

[lustforlove]

i was actaully thinking a minute ago, how about if i try being dominant with him or something do a load of things to him i know he will like but then it will sort of make it a little more interesting for me, oh i dont know. yeah your rite doc i will chat to him properly about this when i get the chance i dont think i have to much to worry about it.