Your First Time and anxiety

[Ducy]

Okay so when you guys had sex for the first time....girls especially...what were some of your thoughts afterwards...i ask because me and my girlfriend had sex for the first time at the end of august...well after i came, she said she could feel me cum. I figured it was the thobbing from me ejaculating, but she said she could feel warmth, and when i pulled out she felt it on her leg...well this made me a bit nervous (even though the condom wasnt broken and i had done everything it said about pulling out, like holding the base...and no i didnt linger around inside her for a while after i finished) and she seemed ok about it, like she doesnt seemed stressed out or anything, and when i look into her eyes i can tell she still loves me and everything, but it seems as if she has become a bit more distance as far as...there is usually a lot of passion in our kisses , but we havent shared a passionate kiss in almost two weeks, and her hugs have become more of a crushing dont leave hug...dont mind them but it bothers me...since we had sex and like idk if its cuz she too is worried about pregnancy because of what she "felt" but i would like to know what else everyone else went through...girls did you become like this after your first time or similar. and guys have your girlfriends ever gotten like this?

[sera300]

The first time was not all it was cracked up to be, I felt like "okay it's accomplished". It adds to some feelings of awkwardness realizing your sexuality.

There is so much hype about how wonderful it is; really it becomes more of an acquired taste and takes time for one to be comfortable to really enjoy it. Was it good? Yeah, but not what I expected. It becomes better with time.

Then you realize your relationship is on a new level and this is the new expectation (intercourse) and true enjoyment, mainly for women, is achieved with time.

[Ducy]

well i know she really enjoyed it, and she wanted to do it again later that night....err early morning rather...but like she just seems a bit out there

[demonbuttercup]

I know that for me.. it does take it to another level.
And it's like you are paranoid of just kissing b/c you wonder if fooling around or making out will ALWAYS lead to sex... and maybe that's not what you want to be doing at that moment...
I mean it's not a bad/good thing.. just something different.

so you avoid actions that could lead to this... does that make sense??
Maybe I'm a bit out there LOL

[dancingdoc2]

> Then you realize your relationship is on a new level and this is the new expectation (intercourse) and true enjoyment, mainly for women, is achieved with time.

Communication is the key to having a successful relationship; the relationship in general and specifically the sexual aspect is a partnership. Talk to her at a time when the two of you are not planning to get it on and try to learn what is on her mind and what her perspective is now. Share your thoughts, also, and if necessary, work out a plan for the future that the two of you can embrace.

[Ducy]

buttercup that does make alot of sense...and i know that that has happened before, but were really open when it comes to that so if we just want to simple make out sort of thing we tell each other...but i guess i just need to talk to her...i have tried asking her what she is thinking and like if she feels were ok and she says yes...and we did talk about sex after our first time, like what we thought and stuff like that...

[eminatic]

my first time was incredibly painful. and many times after that. i'm still struggling with it, and its been almost a year. :\

[sera300]

Much may have to do with her age, Ducy...

[Ducy]

Well we are both 17, almost 18. So I mean it could be. Im going over to her house wednesday, so i guess if things dont seem the same by then, then i will see whats changed.
Aside from the whole having sex thing.

[EvilEvilKitten]

The first time was ho-hum but the second time, which followed shortly after the first time, was AWESOME!

Now then - what she felt was NOT you! Please read up on Female Ejaculation. YES women do it too! What she felt was HER!

(btw congrats on that because in order for a woman to ejaculate she must be both relaxed and aroused which is difficult for some. You did a great job, hun!)

She will not do it all of the time, the amout will vary, and some positions will be more conducive to female ejaculation than others - this varies between women.

Now you can explain to her what it was that she felt!