First time questions and concerns

[Ducy]

Okay so me and my girlfriend were talking about sex yesterday, and both agreed that we were ready to take the next step...we are both virgins, so it is our first time...but i have a few questions...first off, with so many different types of condoms, which ones would you guys recommend? not brand but actual type (warming, twisted pleasur, ultrathins etc. secondly, how did you guys get through your performance anx? I know my girlfriend doesnt care if she finishes or not, but like i dont want it to be over before she even knows what happened. and i know worrying will make it worse...so how did you get through it?

[EvilEvilKitten]

Latex condoms in the CORRECT size, lubricant, and she needs to be on her BCPs. After that this is how it is done:

Kissing, cuddling, fondling followed by manual stimulation, followed by oral stimulation, followed by oral WITH manual stimulation, then lube the head, only the head, of your penis, slide on the condom, lube the entrance of her vagina and SLOWLY slide yourself in to about halfway or so. Press upwards with the head of your penis and slide back and forth gently never going in deeper than halfway. Remember to breath deeply and steadily and to STUDY her reactions. Murmuring compliments is always nice as are more caresses and kisses while doing the above. Then find her cervix, gently do not ram into it, slide under that and go in full length, pressing downwards and slide in and out matching your speed to her and your arousals as you near climax. Most men, have a "second gear" when thrusting to orgasm which is VERY nice. After climax you MUST cuddle and say nice things. Be sure to do this twice - making sure SHE orgasms the second time if not the first or both times.

Got all of that?

[Ducy]

Originally Posted by EvilEvilKitten

Be sure to do this twice - making sure SHE orgasms the second time if not the first or both times.

Okay so i understand it all, except the very last...so after our first time, we should go again when were ready? or do you mean make sure that she orgasms at least twice when we are going through foreplay?

[EvilEvilKitten]

YES. The first time is rarely enjoyable for most women, so you pause, renew foreplay and THIS make time make damn sure she DOES enjoy it.
(use a new condom)

[Ducy]

Oh man...ok...any advice for performnce anxiety? haha thank u so much for the advice EEK

[dancingdoc2]

Just to add to what EEK has written is to recommend that the two of you go through the list of articles in the Index and read the majority of them. Learn as much as you can about the how-tos of making out and beyond.

[Ducy]

Oh believe me i have read them doc...and usually when were just fooling around we pretty much do everything the articles say...make out for about 45 minutes and take our time touching above clothes then underneath. etc etc..definitely makes everything 100 times better

[EvilEvilKitten]

Yes - to cure performance anxiety - focus upon HER. Learn how to "listen" to her body.

[Ducy]

well im going to do my best...we talked tonight and we decided we would try it tomorrow...since her parents will be gone all day...I wont be dissapointed if nothing happens but i really feel that it will...the only thing stopping us tonight was that we werent in the bedroom and we feel thats how our first time should be...thanks for the advice doc and EEK...i really hope it all go smoothly...no pun intended.