HELP! S/He is more EXPERIENCED! To which I say:

[dancingdoc2]

Originally Posted by newchris101

I have a connundrum. i dont know what to think about my current girlfriend. i really do love her but i dont tell her....

This can sometimes take a while to decide if you are in lust, just really good friends, or, that there is the makings of love. Whatever the state of your feelings, I do believe you owe her a "position report". Tell her something. If for example you are really in like--tell her. If you are uncertain about it being love--tell her.

I can "tell you" that hearing those three little words "I love you" means more than knowing s/he does yet never hearing it. The same goes for other endearing terms. Whatever you tell her, do be honest.

How long have the two of you been dating? If less that three or four months, it most likely ain't love. What many people say is love is really lust, or strong hormones, or the development of a really great friendship. Love usually takes longer to develop, especially when you are young and inexperienced in the ways of Eros.

and im almost positive sex is coming soon but she has had sex before and it really truly bothers me.

Why? The older you get the more people you will encounter who have had sex before. So what?!

when i asked for sex she flipped and cried and said that it was too soon. Im glad she told me all of this.

Please read the article on boundaries and in knowing how far to go.

Lesson #1: You don't ask for it. A relationship is a partnership. Making love is not what we do to each other; it is what we do with and for each other. Please read this article:

I'm Ready for SEX! (or am I?) I really want to do it.

but i know once u have it u want it still no matter what you say. i just dont know what to do. i just want to know if shes always thinking of her firtst.

She is with you, that should answer your question. That is all that should matter to you. If she thinks about past loves, consider them fantasies. We all have them and they are all harmless unless acted out.

Do not rush into making out, fooling around, moving too quickly from stage to stage, and then intercourse. Take your time, lots of time, getting to know each other well, developing trust, developing your feelings for each other. There are articles listed in the Index on this also.

I suggest you go to the Index, reading, and learning before doing much of anything else except socializing with her for the time being.

[newchris101]

we have been going out for three months. I feel a real connection and i know she does too because she always says that she feels like she likes me more than she should at the point that we are at.
Also its not even because shes the first warm body i found. i have a lot of options but honestly its a lot better than it would be with anyone else and i have a pretty good grasp on that.
We do fight its not all lovey dovey stuff. It's healthy because we rnt just hanging out with each other all the time we have our time with our own friends and family. It just seems like its right and i feel like once we start saying i love u it might complicate everything.
At the same point i know by at least next month or 6 months in we are going to have had sex already because of our feelings for each other.
Her big issue with sex was that the first guy that she did it with cheated on her. Also at first he did act like he cared but then later on he just started having sex with her and then leaving and not caring and she said that was what hurt the most and she doesnt want to make things hard and complicated because she thinks that im genuine and she doesnt want to lose that yet.
And i really dont know how her vagina getting looser works really. Like the whole loosening and tightening. If u could send me some info on that in the form of a link thatd be very helpful too. but just think about what im saying and give me a way to work it out.

[Brandye]

There is nothing to send you in the way of a link or a book or anything else. Once the hymen is gone, obstructions are out of the way. No matter what magic women have tried (or men have forced on us) over the millennia, we do not get tighter again. The muscles surrounding the area may be tense but that would have more to do with her head than her bottom.

At sixteen, I can assure you that in six months this will all be behind you and you will each have other friends. Stop the histrionics and get on with your life. You see this as your first chance to establish a sexual relationship. There will be many more. You should each be studying up on protection and the rest will happen as it happens.

I might add that you really do not know what went on between her and her past boyfriends. Everyone lies about sex.

[newchris101]

well i feel that brandye is being a little condescending. Its not my first chance at a sexual relationship like that. Its not my first girlfriend. Its not complete inexperience with women either. Its just that ive never had to deal with any of this and when i dont know how to do something i ask for help from people. I ask on here a lot because of all of the decent people that log on. i dont appreciate getting yelled at by you or evilsexkitten?. Its just ridiculous.
I just think you could be a little more receptive to my questions because you run a site where people are encouraged to ask. I started 10 threads about my own shit. They were my own difficulties that im not able to explain to my personal friends on account of the agreement with my gf not to tell anyone really what we do beyond kiss and touch.

[Wrave]

The first time I was in front of a girl naked, I could not get it up to save my damn life (I am normally easily turned on). She felt bad about it, but well see my other thread for details.

The only thing that came out of it that was good was that I am good with my tounge and fingers.

Ladies if we cannot get it up, do not fret. It is completely normal.

[The_ModestMouse]

i'm new to this site and not sure where the right places are to ask these kind of questions, but i'm pretty inexperienced when it comes to sex and the girl i'm interested in seems much more experienced than me (and i'm pretty sure she is).

she said she did a "tripod". what exactly is that?

I went to urban dictionary and it told me it was essentially a gangbang and then google searches told me it was something less intense. Can someone please help straighten this out for me? thanks

here were the links i looked up when trying to figure out what it was:
-definitions 5 and 6: Urban Dictionary: tripod
-http://www.articlesbase.com/sexuality-articles/kama-sutra-standing-positions-of-the-kama-sutra-252536.html
-http://books.google.com/books?id=Cx62zwSwbcsC&pg=PA146&lpg=PA146&dq=tripod +sex+position&source=bl&ots=98Lrz9iAXi&sig=biE-krnny18pjswItdpSNtpTb_c&hl=en&ei=d8uWTZrcM-mN0QGavZT1Cw&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum= 8&ved=0CEkQ6AEwBzgK#v=onepage&q=tripod%20sex%20pos ition&f=false

any help asap would be greatly appreciated, thank you

[LIL.HORNY.DEVIL]

My boyfriend has had sex before but i havent and he said that he is ready andso am i but im really scared can anyone give me advice plz xx

[big916]

have you read the content dancingdoc has provided on the first page? here is also part 2 Next: If you are new & have no experience (Pt. 2 of HELP! S/He is more EXPERIENCED!

[LIL.HORNY.DEVIL]

I have read that but i still feel scared to do it but i feel ready at the same time jst pm me advice sumone plz xx

[EvilEvilKitten]

When the desire overcomes the fear THEN you are ready not before.
You, HLD, are not yet ready. Simply asking the question proves it.