For Women Only- Help! Why Can't He Make Me Orgasm?

[dancingdoc2]

Hi,
Thank you for the questions. From your post it seems like you just jumped in without having read the entire thread. This is one of many articles listed in the Index that is both informative and a how-to. I have addressed your concern in a couple of posts, above.

Originally Posted by GweMi

Doc,, I have only reached an orgasm when my boyfriend fingers me, not during sex. Although its great that i can reach it through oral sex, but i want the whole experience!

I recommend reading the entire article and replies, above. All of the articles listed in the Index were written to answer common questions that people ask about, and, to provide additional background information, so that we do not have to continually spend time re- re- rewriting the information each time a new person to the community asks.

When we are having sexual intercourse, i can see that my boyfriend is reaching his climax, while im feeling nothing. Minutes go by and its only happening to him!

1. Very few sexual positions place a woman's pieces-parts in close constant contact with a man's pubic mound sufficient to generate the required friction. What a caring, knowledgeable, lover will do is reach around and finger his partner while stroking away.

2. The vaginal vault is devoid of sensitive nerves, except in and around the entrance. One of the things that is satisfying is the sense of fullness a woman feels from having a penis inside. Then, too, is the sense of being one with the other for a few minutes.

I dont even feel anything when he changes positions! Whats wrong with me?
When his penis enters my vagina, i only feel like im putting in a tampon!
Where is the pleasure in that doc???

Answered, above. There is nothing wrong with you, although, your expectations are on the wrong things.

Also, when having sex and my boyfriend is clearly having all the pleasure, he sees that im feeling nothing and then he stops!

Your boyfriend needs more insight and information. I recommend that both of you begin reading all of the articles listed in the Index. Knowledge is empowering. By stopping he may mean well, yet this is exactly not what should be done! How frustrating for you.

* How much time are the two of you devoting to fooling around and making out before ever getting to the foreplay stage?
* Do you do much kissing in order to get your engines reved up?
* How aroused do you generally become before beginning intercourse?

How long does it normally take before feeling anything or starting my reach to climax?

Should i just wait for the feeling to happen??

Please read the article that discusses the differences in male/female arousal curves. Chapter Four: MORE: From bungling student to graduating Lover Cum Laude

There is no one answer to how long it takes a person to reach his/her peak. Much depends upon comfort (physically, emotionally, environmentally), mood, stress, excitement and anticipation, a man's understanding of how and what to do when, communication and feedback, to name a few requirements.

Certainly, if you are in a good mood, in a quiet place, with a loving lover, who knows what he is doing and communicating with you verbally and/or non-verbally, it can take only a few minutes; however, having said that, and in answer to one of the above questions, if you are not devoting at least half an hour to making out most of the time you are not giving yourselves sufficient time to become highly aroused.

Intercourse should not normally begin until you are ready and then invite him in. Many fellas nowadays operate under the misguided misconception that the most expedient way to an orgasm is from lots and Lots and Lots of stroking and thrusting. WRONG. This is the why of making out in all of its various stages. Both of you should be at the brink of an orgasm before starting.

There is much to read and learn on all this so I suggest that together or separately, you begin and then discuss what you have learned.

[Cowgirl26]

wow this realli helps thanx

[MommiSham]

Thanks a lot. I felt bad about not coming. My partner/bf would think that he isn't doing something right, but I would feel worst and think that I'm not normal. I have tried this technique once and it did good while i added it on the phone with my partner. So how can you tell if it's an orgasm or just wet juices? Does it have to be a white sticky substance?

[crazy_miranda1]

I Dont Know Where those Parts Are..

[Brandye]

Miranda,

Look around this Board. There are upfront articles and posts on many forums that can help you. Then visit clitical.com and get some ideas for yourself.

[Burningham84]

I wonder if Doc ever gets tired of repeating 'emself. Tehehe.

I however have a situation, that I would prefer a specific answer to.
I got out of a 5 yr bad relationship about 3 months ago to be with a new guy that I have known for almost 2 years. In this past relationship, the fella was an alcoholic and I hated to have sex with a brewery, but on the VARY rare ocassion that we did, I had no problems with cumming. In between I made use of a vibrator at least once a week minimum if not a few times a week. Now that I am with my new guy, he has seriously opened my eyes to my sexual cravings, however, the only time I have gotten off during intercourse is when he placed my vibrator in between us during missionary, which seems to be the only position I can get off in or come close to getting off in in the first place.
I am so addicted to the way he treats me in bed and he's told me that I'm the best lover he's ever had, as he is mine. I have put the vibrator away and tried just using my fingers, but I can't even stimulate myself into the big 'O' without my toy, no matter how into it I am. I think I have pretty much desensitized myself to finger stimulation with it? Also, I have issues with a glandular cyst that likes to pop up at least once a year. One time, the Dr. made a 2inch incision along the outside of my lip so that she could actually look into it and try to find the cause etc, so I am also wondering if that could have damaged anything?
It's not that he is lacking in skill, he uses most of the teqs that I have read about. He is a very sexually aware man in knowing where to touch or what to touch, and when to touch it. I just, can't get past that 'almost there' part.

[Brandye]

Where the incision is relative your excitable parts will not affect any nerves or ability to respond. I am assuming the peri-vaginal glands (Glands of Bartholin) rather than the peri-urethral.

You have been with your new partner a relatively short time and it does some getting accustomed to new things. I would suggest some exploration for getting over the top from other things he does - such as oral or digital. It is possible that you have become a bit addicted to the speed of the vibrator but that is mostly mental and you will get over it.

Above all, keep in mind that a quarter of all women never experience orgasm, a quarter regularly reach orgasm through penetration and thrusting and fully half of us require stimulation in addition to what the penis does.

[Burningham84]

Thank you dear. Will be looking forward to when I that moment comes =0) I was figuring it was more so mental than anything else at this point and really just needed a second opinion.

[dancingdoc2]

I wonder if Doc ever gets tired of repeating 'emself. Tehehe.

I rely upon "copy 'n paste!" quite a bit. Others have said that I like to hear myself talk--or, more to the digital point, watch myself type. Take your pick.

[Burningham84]

Well, I like watching myself type too!! So we can just go with that one haha =0)