Approaching Oral Sex

[YoungLover03]

Hi everyone,

My girlfriend and I are having issues when it comes to oral sex. I absolutely love performing oral on her and she loves it just as much. But I can't seem to get her to do it on me.

My girlfriend has no problem giving me hand jobs, which she is quite good at it. But everytime she tries to do oral she freezes and can't seem to "get her head down there." And everytime she freezes I feel embarrassed, ashamed, and a little frustrated. I want her to make me feel as good as I make her feel when I perform oral on her.

Can someone give me some advice? I would especially like to hear from the female members of this site but any input would be greatly appreciated.

Regards,
A young boyfriend.

[demonbuttercup]

I would just encourage her and give her time.
Its not like she flat out refuses, she's just having a hard time taking that first step.
Thats how I was at first. I wanted to return the favor but I very nervous and scared. Afraid of what it would be like, if I would do it wrong, if I would hurt him, and what about when he cums? Would I be able to have it in my mouth? what would it taste like? would I gag and embarrass myself?
Trust me, ALL these questions are probably floating in her mind.
Just talk to her. Let her know you'd like her to when she's totally ready. Let her know she doesn't have to "finish" you off at first. Just knowing that you can maybe go down and do a little licking and sucking just to get used to the act.
The more she does it, the more confident she'll feel.
If she's worried about the cum, maybe say something like.. you can start out w/ oral and finish me off w/ a handjob, or something along those lines.
That way if she's afraid of the cum, or her jaws getting tired, etc... she'll feel better
hope this helps.

[YoungLover03]

How long should I give her before I have to just accept the fact that I'm not going to get the favour returned? Is it right for me to do it to her if she won't do it to me?

[demonbuttercup]

There isn't really a set time limit, how long have you guys been going out? sexually touching?
No, I wouldnt w/hold oral from her just b/c she isn't returning the favor. That isn't what sex is about.
If you do so, she might become even more insecure and think there is something wrong w/ her.
My b/f would hint and I was hesitant. Finally he was able to get me to open up and express the feelings/questions I had from my previous post. He assured me that anything I did would feel good and he'd let me know if I did something wrong. Just knowing that I didn't have to feel embarrassed for being unexperienced made me feel better. He was my first, but I wasn't his.
That was another thing that bothered me, but he was cool about it and now I feel like I do a pretty good job, pun intended lol.

[YoungLover03]

It seems that I have said the same things that your boyfriend said to you - I reassured her that she can do almost anything to my penis (with exception to the use of teeth) and it would feel good.

We have been going out for 6 months but have only started experimenting with oral in the last 2 or so.

[demonbuttercup]

Ah ok,
well I guess just keep reassuring her.
Maybe do like I said and just say like, when you are giving me a handjob maybe kiss and lick it a little. That way it is a HJ/BJ. Then hopefully she can work herself up to the real thing.
Sorry I couldn't be more help
good luck

[YoungLover03]

Thats the thing, the closes she will get to me is touching it with her hands...

Thanks for your advice though, it reassured me that I am taking the right approach to things.

[Fluffer]

Has she actually gotten down there and LOOKED at your penis? It might scare her. I know I was scared to death about doing it in the beginnning! I agree, see if, while she's giving you a hand job, she will just lick the head a little, maybe wrap her lips around it. Tell her she doesn't have to go all the way down on it. Maybe after a few times of doing that, she will venture farther... I really love doing this for my man! Has she read this site? Maybe there's some positive feedback on BJ's from WOMEN that will interest her? I'll keep my fingers crossed for you!

[YoungLover03]

Nope won't work...her head freezes about a foot a walf from it. lol

[TheFriendlyGiant]

Ahahahah, I had same thing. I assume your guys relationship is fresh or no?

I remember a few times my current GF once bit my body slowly moving down to the white christmas tree and then gave it a little bite then came back up and kissed me. I was a little turned down at that point cause thats all she did.

Then the next few times she would start and do it for like 1 min. Then stop. We talked and she told me shes only done it like twice before to different guys and both times she didn't do it long she'd just stop after a while, she wasn't a fan of it. Our relationship now is a lot stronger and shes willing to do it now because it brings be such pleasure.

Although sometimes she still doesn't like it cause I last longer getting a BJ then getting a handjob... dont know if thats weird or not...

Anyways yea giver her sometime and let her do it on her own willingness. Be patient, I know its probably hard.