Wanting another Virgin

[Miroslaw86]

I'm 18 almost 19, average looking and pretty interesting, and quite popular. But have never gotten laid.

I was always shy up until about age 16/17 but I've learned to overcome that. Problem is I could have sex with a lot of girls but I want to have my first time with someone else who is also sharing their first time with me.

Actually that's not the problem, the problem is that since I overcame shyness 99.9% of girls older than 16 (who are decently actractive and also willing to have sex and not saving themselves) have already given up their virginities.


I honestly think I'd be unable to love someone who isn't a virgin, but is it really wrong to have sex with someone I don't love if it's only once, and for purposes of sanity? [on a side note my mom said she'd go to Vegas with me for my 19th birthday and buy me a hooker if I was still a virgin, I don't think I'd do that, but mabye if I was turning 20 I would] I've heard of a couple girls who've heard of my situation who would REALLY like a virgin guy. (is that normal for a girl?)

I've heard all the "you're normal at age 18" and "just wait for someone you love" and the "wait until you're ready" lines. I've been ready for years. (<----notice period)

So any suggestions. Should I just go out to the mall tomorrow and pick up some phone#s (not a problem)? Or should I continue frustrating myself and wait for someone who doesn't seem to be there?

[thetease13]

Well, I will tell you they're out there, somewhere. I was 22 when I lost my virginity... just a month shy of being 23. So yes, they're out there. lol.

And well, if you're ready, you're ready. However, to me, and this is just to me, I don't think you should just rush out there and have sex with the first girl you find just because you're tired of being a virgin or whatnot.
To me, your first time is supposed to be something memorable, not something to just "throw away" so to speak because you want to get it over and done with.

I lost mine to someone that I wanted to lose it to. Someone who I trusted, and still trust, more than most things in this world. Someone in which I couldn't imagine losing it to anyone else.
And not only was it memorable because of that, it was also memorable because he "took care of me" so to speak. He always made sure even up to the point when it was about to happen that this was what I wanted to do and once we tried to get going, he always wanted to know if I was ok and if he should stop and even when I told him to keep going, he could see that I was in pain and stopped.

So anyways, it's up to you really what you want to do. But me, personally, I would hold off till you found that person you're sure you want to lose it to. Even if she won't be the one you marry or won't be with for a long time, she should still be that one you want to lose it to.

[iamawesum69420]

Why do you think you'd be unable to love someone that isn't a virgin? When you love someone it should be for who they are. You should never had to say to someone, "well I can't let myself love you because you're a virgin."


And as far as who you want to lose your virginity to, that's gotta be up to you. My first time was quite the opposite of tease's. I just wanted to have sex. It didn't have to be someone I loved or even knew really well. I had actually had just met the guy that day. I was introduced to him by friends and we went for a drive and ended up in a public park. No it wasn't the most romantic first time experience ever but I'll always remember it and never regret it.

[yetagainsorrows]

Virgin or not, love is about a person and not a label. To love unconditionally is the only way to love...

[Miroslaw86]

Well awesome, I know I'd hate her because I'd be envious that someone else was able to steal her virginity, it would be fine once I lose mine too, but I feel that not traiding virginities would be unfair. You see my dilemma here: I could skrew anyone but what if in the unlikely chance Mrs. Special does come along and I not longer have mine to trade, that would be unfair to her.

[QUOTE]"I had actually had just met the guy that day. I was introduced to him by friends and we went for a drive and ended up in a public park. No it wasn't the most romantic first time experience ever but I'll always remember it and never regret it." Sorry but isn't this a complete contridiction.

Maybe it's because I just don't want to wait but think about it, every day countless virgins bang some dude they don't care about. So I just don't think passing up all these free opportunities with people I don't care about is such a good idea anymore. I don't want to be 26 and still fretting about this situation.

p.s. I welcome anyone's opinions or comments, the more I know the better off I'll be.

[demonbuttercup]

I don't understand tho how you are contemplating giving your virginity to some random chick or even have your MOM buy you a hooker, lol.
But yet you see girls your age doing the same thing...not the hooker part... but yet you could never "love them" b/c you don't think you can give them a fair trade or always be thinking of that random guy. I don't get it.
Besides, the guy Im w/ took my virginity but he had been w/ several girls. Yes, sometimes I think I wonder who they were. My issue is more of a "I didn't get to sleep w/ multiple ppl, multiple experiences, but he did". Its not really jealously over who took his virginity. I could care less. And yes I was like 23 I think also.

So if you do lose your virginity to a random chick or do find a nice girl..whatever... are you still going to look at it the same way? Will you still be looking for a virgin?? or will a "used" girl be ok after you are no longer a virgin.
Yes I agree it could be cool to enjoy and "trade" your virginities, but at the end of the day....all that really matters is that you are w/ someone you love....or at least like a little lol.

[iamawesum69420]

Well like I said before you should love her for who she is not who she's been with. I have had quite a few more partners than my boyfriend has and he has no problem with it. He says that's just part of my past and he loves me regardless of it. They key thing is when you find the person that you love, the love is unconditional. Don't get hung up on pettyness. Being jealous of another guy that took her virginity is ridiculous. If we start thinking in that state of mind, we'll just start becoming jealous of our current partner's past partners because they "got there first." That'd just be silly.

Another thought. Do you think you'd feel inadequate if she wasn't a virgin as well? Like you wouldn't be up to par so to speak if she's had more experience?

[shadowcat]

me and my boyf are the opposite of iamawesum, hes had more sexual partners than me, but that doesnt bother me. i love him fir who he is not coz im the only one hes slept with. for a while before i met him, i thought maybe i was ready and nearly did go witha totally random person. however, i waited and im glad i did, coz in reality i hadnt been ready at all. when it did happen, i was scared that i would mess it up, but as long as ur honest and let a girl know its ur first time even if it isnt hers, she'll understand, she was there once too! dont just go with some random, that shows a total lack of respect for her

[Miroslaw86]

Thanks to everyone for your imput. Nothing I haven't already heard but at least it's something to think about. And I'm still thinking (I do every day). I went to the mall a couple times and talked to a few chicks there, but alas, nothing but sluts. Does anyone have an idea for a good venue besides the obvious places like in the malls and around campus?

[Alspals69]

You think bout this far too much!!!

I tend to go to the mall if i want to buy something myelf.

I am sure its different for everyone, but i try not to go looking for partners. I just live life and inevitably i meet people. I try to be nice to everyone. Sometimes i meet people and we click... slightly more rarely i meet someone and there is something special happening.

I'm not too sure "slut" is a helpful term. Different people have different values. It wouldn't be good for us all to be the same. So lets live and let live.