Recognizing Sexual Myths

[DrDonaldLeonPhD]

Recognizing Sexual Myths

By Dr. Donald Leon, Ph.D.
Sociologist & Sexuality Educator

Many American teens don't know the facts about sexuality. They have heard and passed on misinformation or myths. Sexual decisions based upon misinformation can have serious consequences. The results can be an unintended pregnancy, a sexually transmitted disease or other unnecessary suffering. *

Knowing "the facts" about sexuality is important. Without accurate information, it's difficult to make responsible sexual decisions and to act with sexual integrity.

You can avoid these problems. You can learn the facts and pass them on to others. This leaflet presents the facts about twenty of the most common sexual myths teens are exposed to. Read it carefully. It can help you recognize sexual myths.

MYTHS AND FACTS ABOUT SEXUALITY

Myth: All teenagers are having sexual intercourse these days.
Fact: While many American teens do have sexual intercourse, many do not.

Myth: If you love someone, you're going to want to have sex with him or her.
Fact: While we often use the term "making love" for sexual intercourse, love and sex are not the same thing. There are many ways to show love besides having sex.

Myth: A girl cannot get pregnant the first time she has sexual intercourse.
Fact: Girls can and often do become pregnant the first time they have intercourse.

Myth: A female cannot get pregnant while she is breast-feeding.
Fact: Although a woman may not menstruate when she is breast-feeding, she can still become pregnant.

Myth: There is an absolutely "safe" period for sexual intercourse during which intercourse cannot cause pregnancy.
Fact: While a female is less likely to get pregnant during certain periods of her menstrual cycle, there is no "absolutely" safe period. There is always a chance she will get pregnant.

Myth: Having a male withdraw his penis from a female's vagina before he ejaculates or "comes" (coitus interruptus) is a good way to prevent pregnancy.
Fact: Withdrawal is not an effective way to prevent pregnancy. Even before ejaculation, the penis leaks semen that can contain thousands of sperm.

Myth: Having sexual intercourse while standing up, urinating after intercourse or jumping up and down after intercourse will prevent pregnancy.
Fact: None of these activities prevent pregnancy.

Myth: Boys always initiate sexual activity.
Fact: While boys have traditionally taken the lead, there is no reason why this "should" be the case.

Myth: Males have stronger sex drives and are more interested in sex than females.
Fact: The female's sex drive is just as strong as the male's. Society has traditionally allowed males to express their interest in sex more openly, however.

Myth: A male always wants and is always ready to have sex.
Fact: Some males simply don't want to have sex. They may think that sex before marriage is wrong or that they simply aren't mature enough to handle it. Also, males who do have sex aren't "always" ready for it.

Myth: There's something wrong with a guy who hasn't had sex by the time he is 18.
Fact: There is no magical age by which someone should be having sex. Because some males don't want to have sex doesn't mean there is anything "wrong" with them.

Myth: Oral-genital sex between a man and a woman is a sign of homosexuality.
Fact: Many people who are exclusively heterosexual practice oral-genital sex.

Myth: You're a homosexual if you've had sex with, or even had a "sexy" dream about, someone of the same sex.
Fact: Sex play with friends of either gender is common during the preadolescent and early adolescent years. So is having "sexy" dreams. Such experiences should not be interpreted as proof of any long-term, adult sexual orientation.

Myth: You can tell if a person is a homosexual by looking at him or her.
Fact: It's impossible to know if someone is a homosexual by looking at him or her.

Myth: AIDS is a "gay" or homosexual disease.
Fact: Infection with HIV, the virus that causes AIDS, is increasing more rapidly among heterosexuals than among homosexuals. Many people are being infected with HIV through sexual activity with someone of the opposite sex.

Myth: Condoms don't work.
Fact: If used consistently and correctly, especially with the spermicide nonoxynol-9, latex condoms are highly effective in preventing both pregnancy and the transmission of sexually transmitted diseases.

Myth: Having an orgasm while asleep, a "nocturnal" orgasm, is a sign of sexual problems.
Fact: Having nocturnal orgasms is normal, healthy and nothing to worry about.

Myth: A large penis is important for sexual enjoyment.
Fact: Penis size does not determine the sexual enjoyment of either a male or his sexual partner.

Myth: Masturbation can cause a number of physical and mental problems like warts, pimples, acne and insanity.
Fact: Masturbation is a normal, healthy part of life that is not harmful.

Myth: Masturbation is restricted almost exclusively to males.
Fact: A large proportion of females, as well as males, enjoy masturbation.

SEXUAL INTEGRITY AND MYTHS

It's impossible to cover all the myths you may encounter in a short post like this one. There are many more. The best way to combat them is to learn more about sexuality. The more you know, the more likely you are to realize what is and what is not a myth.

[eDJ]

I'm watching CNN Paula Zahn's report on sex ed. *She states the Government is spending $170,000,000 dollars a year to
deliver a largely abstinance message. *Of the dozen or so
school programs being used now 80% are with misleading,
biased or guilt/shame information contained within them.

A *Dr. McIlhenny(Institute for sexual health-pro abstinance) and a rep Bill Smith from the CDC.

They discused figures which were published:

12 grade 53% having sex
11 grade 44%
10 grade 37% (If I remember right)
9 *grade *22% (If I remember right...I'll edit if it shows again)

It seems to me that there has always been a trend with adults who want to point back to a time before the young people were alive.."the good old days"....when people didn't
have sex until they were married etc. *The problem is kids
learn better and see the adults who tell them that as little
more than liars. *That is where the problem starts in my opinion and is perpetuated with abstinance policies that have
kids finding recogintion from their peers by breaking the rules.
In these years many kids who don't fit the mold the schools insist they conform to.....will find ways to attain some status
with their peers by breaking the rules of society. *The
prossess of gaining recognition without achievement seems
to be reinforced by adults all around them and the idea of making it in life on ones looks, charm, and sex appeal is business as usual.

I really don't have an answer for how to turn it all around, but
if you look at the advertising media and the fact that there are always super sexy fashon models pushing every product under the sun for about 26 minutes of every hour of TV boradcast(the legal limit), anyone pushing a "just say no" doctrine will appear to have came from the stone ages, or in a time before WW11.(65+ years ago) *Although the message may hold the greater wisdom, it doesn't translate into many of the kids experience here in 2004.

Kids have an amazing ability to see thru adults, and if they sense the "old people" are BSing them they tune out and the adults have only wasted their time, effort, and resources while the problem is just as much in place as ever.

Sex is the genie out of the bottle, the cat out of the bag,
and little in fashon, music, entertainment media, advertising,
in print, in live public events, and so on doesn't escape the awareness of young people in their formatable years.

Young people deserve to have accurate knowledge to build their lifes on. It is supposedly why we send them to school.
Yet if they get a bad bad bad scolding and doses of guilt/shame in the sex ed programs, the war on teen sex problems will go the same way as the war on drugs. *

eDJ

In the CNN callup poll when asked "do you think abstinance policy sex ed in schools is a viable use of tax dollars" 14% said yes and 86% said no.

Would you want to see $170,000,000 dollars spent each year to tell kids, "JUST SAY NO"!

[DrDonaldLeonPhD]

I would be very interested to know just how many parents are behind a well thought out plan to create open communication between them and their children about Sex, vs. passing the buck to the "church", schools and their children's peers.

We must unite and share the responsibility for the sexual future of our worlds children.

And your thoughts?

"Inquiring minds want to know."

Dr. Don

[thetease13]

The "Just Say No" thing may be stupid, but, in a way it does help.

Most "No" programs give you much more than "No". Atleast they will tell you that if you do do it, to use a condom.
Saying "no" and "use a condom" was much more than I ever got from my parents.

And they will also tell you the consequences if you don't use a condom. They mostly focus on AIDS and other STDs rather than pregnancy, which is atleast something.
Once again, far more than I ever got from my parents.

Even though I educated myself about sex because no one else would, I'd still would like to see the programs kept in school. Atleast it was SOMETHING. And it's a lot more than some kids will ever get from their parent(s).

And besides, if that 170,000,000 dollars wasn't spent there, they'd find something else to spend it on... and 50 bucks says it'd be far more stupid than "just say no".

[vagabondprince]

i agree that the "just say no" program is better than nothing, but being a teen myself, you can't just tell kids they shouldn't do it. Everyone i know had a sex ed class (a couple hours of telling kids what it is or whatever), but because i moved right around that time i left before the one in my old school and missed the one in my new school. So i don't know exactly what is discussed, but i know it doesn't take a couple hours to tell kids to just say no. maybe there should be programs to make condoms more available, and maybe there should be advertisements from more than just the product brand (refering to the trojan commercials that are often made to be too vague for teens to really understand), that push condom use. When i was in Germany there were billboards and posters everywhere pushing condom use. maybe something like that would be helpful too.

[Acid8000]

Hahaha, Yeaaa the Condom billboards in Europe, thier mostly everywhere in europe, thier great. Should get em in north america, its like Sex Humour with a msg!

[oberon]

I think Whoopi Goldberg said it very well...

"You can't tell kids not to have sex. *Why? *Because it feels good... and they're going to do it until it stops feeling good. *And when that happens.... Get another partner."

I think instead of saying "No", *you should say "Be prepared". *Whether it happens at 15 or 30, it's probably going to happen eventually. *Isn't it better that they know the risks and consequences and how to improve the odds that the results won't be bad ones? *I think another thing that should be concentrated on in relation to this is self-esteem. *People who find value within themselves don't need to "prove" anything to anyone. *On here, Girl12 springs to mind. *She sounds very self-assured. *She knows what can happen and what she can deal with. *I wish more teens had her confidence.

And since I'm the "gay advocate" on here.... .... if you think sex ed for straight teens is lacking, try finding ANYTHING on growing up gay. *

[Savannah]

For many, the only concern before having sex is the risk of pregnancy. Others believe that only one time is no risk at all. Unfortunately, both premises are wrong. Unsafe sex carries a multitude of risks. These are just a few.

If you have sex with a carrier of an STD you are at risk. Sometimes even if you wear a condom. Anytime anyone has unprotected sex you increase your risk of contracting an STD-"One in particular that might kill you"!

The most important factor is familiarity with your partner, with whom you should have a steady social and monogamous sexual relationship. Risk of getting infection is greatly increased by having sex with a casual acquaintance, whether a sex worker, a businessman, or any occupational grouping.

If he or she had sex on a casual basis with you, he or she has probably done so with others, some of whom may have had an STD.

If you cannot resist the thrill of having sex with each new acquaintance, you can take many measures to minimise infection even if some of your partners are infected. Examining your sex partner may be feasible (particularly if you are a woman) and frequently reveals evidence of infection. Use of a condom greatly reduces the risk of passing on infection to either partner and also protects the female from pregnancy. Urination immediately after coitus and thorough washing of the genitals with soap and water are probably of very limited value but are better than nothing.

After unprotected sex with a casual partner, seek medical examination before further sexual activity. Symptoms show an immediate need for such medical care, but it is important to remember that infection in both men and women may not show symptoms. Freedom from symptoms is an unreliable guide to freedom from infection.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Quoting Dr. Leon: Recognizing Sexual Myths

By Dr. Donald Leon, Ph.D.
Sociologist & Sexuality Educator

Many American teens don't know the facts about sexuality. They have heard and passed on misinformation or myths. Sexual decisions based upon misinformation can have serious consequences. The results can be an unintended pregnancy, a sexually transmitted disease or other unnecessary suffering. *

Knowing the facts about sexuality is important. Without accurate information, it's difficult to make responsible sexual decisions and to act with sexual integrity.

You can avoid these problems. You can learn the facts and pass them on to others. This leaflet presents the facts about twenty of the most common sexual myths teens are exposed to. Read it carefully. It can help you recognize sexual myths.

MYTHS AND FACTS ABOUT SEXUALITY

Myth: All teenagers are having sexual intercourse these days.
Fact: While many American teens do have sexual intercourse, many do not.

Myth: If you love someone, you're going to want to have sex with him or her.
Fact: While we often use the term "making love" for sexual intercourse, love and sex are not the same thing. There are many ways to show love besides having sex.

Myth: A girl cannot get pregnant the first time she has sexual intercourse.
Fact: Girls can and often do become pregnant the first time they have intercourse.

Myth: A female cannot get pregnant while she is breast-feeding.
Fact: Although a woman may not menstruate when she is breast-feeding, she can still become pregnant.

Myth: There is an absolutely "safe" period for sexual intercourse during which intercourse cannot cause pregnancy.
Fact: While a female is less likely to get pregnant during certain periods of her menstrual cycle, there is no "absolutely" safe period. There is always a chance she will get pregnant.

Myth: Having a male withdraw his penis from a female's vagina before he ejaculates or comes (coitus interruptus) is a good way to prevent pregnancy.
Fact: Withdrawal is not an effective way to prevent pregnancy. Even before ejaculation, the penis leaks semen that can contain thousands of sperm.

Myth: Having sexual intercourse while standing up, urinating after intercourse or jumping up and down after intercourse will prevent pregnancy.
Fact: None of these activities prevent pregnancy.

Myth: Boys always initiate sexual activity.
Fact: While boys have traditionally taken the lead, there is no reason why this should be the case.

Myth: Males have stronger sex drives and are more interested in sex than females.
Fact: The female's sex drive is just as strong as the male's. Society has traditionally allowed males to express their interest in sex more openly, however.

Myth: A male always wants and is always ready to have sex.
Fact: Some males simply don't want to have sex. They may think that sex before marriage is wrong or that they simply aren't mature enough to handle it. Also, males who do have sex aren't always ready for it.

Myth: There's something wrong with a guy who hasn't had sex by the time he is 18.
Fact: There is no magical age by which someone should be having sex. Because some males don't want to have sex doesn't mean there is anything wrong with them.

Myth: Oral-genital sex between a man and a woman is a sign of homosexuality.
Fact: Many people who are exclusively heterosexual practice oral-genital sex.

Myth: You're a homosexual if you've had sex with, or even had a sexy; dream about, someone of the same sex.
Fact: Sex play with friends of either gender is common during the preadolescent and early adolescent years. So is having sexy dreams. Such experiences should not be interpreted as proof of any long-term, adult sexual orientation.

Myth: You can tell if a person is a homosexual by looking at him or her.
Fact: It's impossible to know if someone is a homosexual by looking at him or her.

Myth: AIDS is a gayor homosexual disease.
Fact: Infection with HIV, the virus that causes AIDS, is increasing more rapidly among heterosexuals than among homosexuals. Many people are being infected with HIV through sexual activity with someone of the opposite sex.

Myth: Condoms don't work.
Fact: If used consistently and correctly, especially with the spermicide nonoxynol-9, latex condoms are highly effective in preventing both pregnancy and the transmission of sexually transmitted diseases.

Myth: Having an orgasm while asleep, a nocturnal orgasm, is a sign of sexual problems.
Fact: Having nocturnal orgasms is normal, healthy and nothing to worry about.

Myth: A large penis is important for sexual enjoyment.
Fact: Penis size does not determine the sexual enjoyment of either a male or his sexual partner.

Myth: Masturbation can cause a number of physical and mental problems like warts, pimples, acne and insanity.
Fact: Masturbation is a normal, healthy part of life that is not harmful.

Myth: Masturbation is restricted almost exclusively to males.
Fact: A large proportion of females, as well as males, enjoy masturbation.

SEXUAL INTEGRITY AND MYTHS

It's impossible to cover all the myths you may encounter in a short post like this one. There are many more. The best way to combat them is to learn more about sexuality. The more you know, the more likely you are to realize what is and what is not a myth.

HEY PEEPS, quit with the quote/unquote stuff and just WRITE it.
Almost everything that says Men are or Women are - is a myth. All one can say about humans is some or most are.