23 year old virgin

[Greendale]

I'm 27 and still a virgin.

I'm very careful of the women who I date. I don't want to have sex with someone that I barely know well yet or you'll feel guilty the rest of your life. I can get laid any time but in my choosing, I choose to lose my virginity to a female who I truly love. I'm just waiting for that special someone.

It's not a crime to not have sex. Have sex whenever you want to and enjoy life. There are more important things in life than just sex. Don't listen to people who make fun of your virginity. There is no rush for sex. People who lose their virginity at their teens are just stupid kids rushing to get laid. Just wait until you think it's right. Just enjoy life and do whatever makes you happy. That's what I'm doing.

[gg21]

I'm 26 and still a virgin. Thankfully, I don't think i'll be one for very much longer... I know how it feels to go yet another year without losing it. Amazingly enough, most girls actually think i'm good looking, I dress really well, and i'm doing very well for myself in terms of career, etc. Believe it or not, this can actually be a problem for a guy. I'm too serious for my own good and my interests are not typical of people my age. I'm often told im' an emotionless SOB, in jest of course, but there's an element of truth to it. Put this all together and i'm unapprochable to a lot of women; not because i'm unattractive in any way, but because there's an invisible barrier around me.

However, #1 problem has been that i'm a lazy mfer and an introvert. There's nothing wrong with being introverted, but it means i don't enjoy the typical places people our age go to meet girls. I hate clubs. I'd rather stay home cause i feel so out of place at them. Whenever i've gone to them, i feel like i have to go through the motions of pretending to enjoy myself when i'm really not. I did this in my first couple years of university, but then said "f*** it" after a while and I went back to playing computer games in my free-time cause i didn't feel like wasting anymore money at venues I disliked.

I've never had a real girlfriend, although there have been girls i've messed around with to varying degrees since the age of 17.. The one thing they all had in common was that they all came to me, I didn't really have to do anything to get them. Unfortunately, they were never around long enough for us to get to sex (they were usually on vacation when I met them), or maybe i just didn't push for it enough.. who knows.. The point is, I only had myself to blame.

Not too long ago, a girl came along that changed things for me. Because of certain situations that I won't elaborate on, I had to devote considerable energy into the courting phase. Just getting her to come out on a date with me was tough at first (it had nothing to do with her desire to do so). Things are rolling pretty smoothly now, and i know it's gonna happen sooner rather than later. I think that for me, the right girl had to come along. There were others before her, but i've fallen for this one pretty hard, and the others were usually leaving soon after we hit it off.

I think that for me anyway, a lot of the problems were ones i could have done something about had i been more pro-active about it. However I just filled my time with work and stuff isntead. If you want to accelerate the process, you're gonna have to find a way to meet new people. I'd concentrate on doing that before worryign about sex. If you're at all like me and don't wanna leave everything to chance you're gonna have to learn to make yourself more approchable.

anyway, get out there and gl.

Ps. if the post is rambling and/or incoherent and/or slightly off-topic, you'll have to excuse me cause i only got 5 hrs of sleep yesterday and it's now 2:30am, which is my cue to hit the sack.

[Greendale]

^^^^wow, I'm in the same boat as that guy above.

I've heard from many women that I'm good looking and attractive, I too am not shy at all around women. It's just that I'm being very careful of who I'm being with. All the girls who I've been with in the past, all came to me. But none of the girls I've went out with in the past, none of them had sexual intercourse with me.

My only thing, if these girls want to show me that I am a human being and respect me like a human being, then I'll accept sex with her. If she shows that she truly loves me as a human being, then I'll go for it.

If I date a girl who's going to use me for money or she's dating me just to "test" me, she's out the door.

I just want true love and respect from a girl. And I will one day find that perfect somebody that I'll be with the rest of my life.

[deebs1975]

I'm 29, not truly a virgin (not proud of it but I tried prostitutes for a little while). I've never had sex with someone I really wanted to or who wanted me for anything but $$.
I've never had a girlfriend. I had some female friends that I felt were like a girlfriend but were really more like sisters except for the fact I also wanted to have sex with them.
I, too, am successful for my age, but not overly so. I own a home, nice vehicle, and people think highly of me. Still, I find I am insecure to the point of not being able to even fathom asking out women I find attractive. I cannot understand what they would ever see in me.
I'm short, heavyset (5'3" and 180lbs) but people at work say I don't look "fat" or "chubby." Women I like are generally younger, 18-26, thin, and bubbly.
I absolutely hate bars & clubs. I feel so out-of-place that all I do is stand near the wall and watch. People (including here) recommend trying social groups... Guess what? If I liked the idea of the group I would already be in it.... When I try those (singles groups, church groups, etc) I am as out of place as at bars.
So... you are not alone. The right person who can take you and me out of our social shell will come along sometime. Until then, masturbation provides a safe relief from the urges. Just push your own envelope a little bit once in a while.

I have a lunch date with an older woman (35) next week. She's short, not thin, but not fat. Not gorgeous, but certainly not ugly. A few years ago I would not have given her a second look, but I now know her a little bit and she has a great personality and we make each other laugh at work. I was recently set up on a date with a Thai girl. She was pretty, tall, thin, and friendly, however we just didn't click... no joking around, nothing in common.

While not the "trophy girlfriend" we're trained to chase by TV and magazines, this woman from work makes me feel good about myself when we're together. Hopefully I will have the guts to ask her to dinner/movie/hike/ whatever, if this lunch date works out.

Good luck, from another sexually frustrated guy... Who wishes he was still an unwilling virgin instead of regretting paying for it just to get the short rush.

[eDJ]

For the guys posting above I'd mention some things for them in their support. *I somehow think that there is a percentage of the male population which will for whatever reason wind up
being virgins to a later age than most of their peers. *I was.

There are many reasons it happens but for what ever they are
it's interesting to take a look at what is happening for the guys and girls from around 9 years of age or about grade 4 in school when kids begin to break out of being little kids and realize that that there other kids and begin to prepare to socialize with them and build their social skills.(which will set to tone for their lifetimes)

With the girls you have to remember a factor referred to as the *"biological time clock" which has some thinking she will need to be married and having the children that will comprise
her family before she's 25 or so, such that her kids are mature adults before she enters menopause.(around 46+) *What mom wants crazy teens when she's going thru menopause? *So, the girls will be socialized earlier than the guys. Girls will be taught about being grown-ups earlier as their menstral cycle will start for them to mark the beginning of their fertility...thus another reason early knowledge of social skills is important. Guys notice this and don't understand it sometimes...especially guys who are only kids or from families of all boys. *Often they don't understand how the girls their age get off dating guys *who are several years older...and experience feelings of being cheated, inferiority, jealousy, and at least confusion.

Girls will be taught social skills, learn to dance, dress as women, attend womens functions when boys are still playing
and being given what they will recieve in terms of male skills
which they will use for the rest of their lives. *Helping change oil in the car, rotate tires, change sparkplugs, paint on the house, do some roofing, electrical work, electronic work, computer repair and maintenance, and a buch of other things which kinda keep them away from the girls so they don't get one in trouble.

This all works well for the parents in a perfect world, but still some teens discover sex from older kids and try it. *Casualties ensue early on with single moms and families which move to other states taking their boys with them. *Some moms are
by their boys like prison guards and all but brain wash them about girls to the extent that they sort of become institutionalized like lifers in prison and just hide themselves away from everything to please mom and dad. *Many learn to build cars, computers, boats, or get into sports and hang out with their buddies far too long. *Most of these guys will have stories about some girls who acted interested in them for awhile but drifted off.

Unfortunately these guys sort of spoil their mom's and dads who would enjoy this trend realizing life will be a snap for them
with no problems out of JR. *Many of these same moms will act like no girl is good enough for her little boy. *It is said that
if there is marital trouble between a man and his wife with a mother'n'law...9 times out of 10 it will be from the guys mom.

So then, *what's a guy to do? *Call himself lazy, not handsome, a committed bachelor? *What if he feels lonely and
deep inside isn't happy with where he has drifted in life's flow.
He realizes mom is so happy he is single but he isn't? *When he brings a girlfriend around mom acts pleased but as soon as she is gone mom strats picking her to pieces? *Mom may like the idea of you being seen with girls...but then quickly reels you in by her leash around your neck before you can hook up and have a girl friend. *Well, heads up JR. *Here's what I'll say to you.

You don't have to go to bars to find women or endure smoke filled rooms in public houses and dance halls. *Learning how to
let girls know you like what you see when you look their way, or when a girl walks up and smiles to say "HI" you know how to recognize what is happening and deal with it. *It's called
FLIRTING. *It is easy to learn how to do as most of it is body language and knowing how to get over your fears and just smile and act nice to someone. *How to pay a complement sincerely. *How to invite someone to a more comofortable place in a busy room to chat a bit and get to know each other a little better to see if you have anything in common on the very most basic of terms. *This is where a second meeting....like for coffee...will be established. *It comes in small increments and ultimately builds a friendship.

If you would like to learn more about flirting, you public library probably has some books on the subject. *It is fun, easy, and you'll wonder why you didn't learn more about it earlier. *Sure you have heard the word "Flirting", but do you know that much about it? *An author named Susan Rabin has several books available for real life flirting or even chatrooms where you can practice and learn to charm girls and not speak in
anti social language which rubs people the wrong way all to often. *Learn not to be rejective first and regret it later. *Girls who do this too much often hear themselves called a "PRINCESS" when she's a teen, and in her twenties a "SPINSTER". Guys often hear people referr to them as Mr. Pittiful or Old Bachelor.

This is just about being charming enough to be approachable or to approach someone else and see if you can be friends to start with, then build from there. *Sure you will get rejected some...but it's a numbers game....soon or or later your number is going to hit....and that's all it takes. *Don't let getting rejected hurt your feelings or ruin your life...just think....NEXT! and move on to another girl you find interesting.
(and not just for her physical features)

Guys who are truly uncomfortable with their plight will be the ones to change their ways first. Other guys may tire of dating their hand, or visiting hookers who only want their money and secretly think they are loosers.(many hookers are either druggies or lesbians who resort to it for quick money to pay rent etc, or buy drinks for the girls at the bars they are interested in). Anytime is a good time to climb out of the rut and better than never.

I'll mention these books which may be in your public library:

How to attract anyone anytime anyplace; the smart guide to flirting by Susan Rabin.

Susan Rabin/Amazon.com

Dale Carnagie's all time best seller * *How to win friends and influance people

Dale Carnagie/Amazon.com

I'll mention Dr Herb Goldberg for the guys and women who love them: *Hazards of being male...surviving the myth of
masculine privilege(click the customer reviews link to the right
on the page the link below takes you to...you gotta read the reviews of this book)

Dr Herb Goldberg/Amazon.com

If you visit the links you can click on the book link and read samples from the books or read reviews by people who have read the books so you will have a better idea what it is about.
Most guys would do well to have these books hid with their porn collection and "READ" the damn things. *Learn some stuff so you won't still be wanking off every time when you're 30. *It isn't about what you look like when you're a guy....so much as it is for girls. *For guys it is more about how attractive girls find you for what's inside, and these two books will help with that more than you know. Have you seen the movie Shrek? *This is just a start, but every thing begins with a start...even loosing ones virginity. *And nobody plans to fail at that....they just fail to plan for it !

Ps....and learn to stand up straight, smile, and act like the lights are on and someone is at home.(ask yourself, that in your present condition....if you were a girl would you flirt with the guy YOU are in your present condition? Or even jump in the sack with you? *Now, what would it take for you to change that? Check the library for copies of those books and you have a good start)

eDJ

[oberon]

Good post, eDJ. Some of the best advice I ever got was in an autobiography of- all people- Ed McMahon.... you know, "The Tonight Show"/"Star Search"... anyway, he said,

"Go into anything and act like you belong and people will treat you as if you do."

It works.

[himynameistara]

hm, I say just try and get out into the dating world, or make good friends with a guy who has a girlfriend, then you could go on double dates with them and one of her friends.

[Greendale]

Oh I flirt with women all the time. I agree it's fun, it's just hard to find a woman that you'll be happy with.

Personally, I think the reason people who are virgins at late ages go to strip clubs and bang prostitutes is that they are in a hurry for sexual experience.

[Makale_83]

I am a 21 year old female virgin. *No one except my best friend and my sister and brother know this. *I don't mind fooling around with guys at all but I absolutely do not believe in sex with someone I don't love.

I've had one serious relationship, but he was also a virgin and waiting until he got married.

I've basically done everything except sex and receiving oral sex.

Sometimes I feel so stupid because when the guys at work or my friends start talking sex talk I don't know what to say. *So usually I stay quiet.

There is no way I'd ever admit to any of my friends that I was a virgin. *There is one girl here thats a virgin and everyone thinks she is a freak! *

Now, I know that sounds bad but I have my reasons.

Anyway, I feel inadequate and am starting to just think about throwing myself at the next hot guy that hits on me just to "Get it over with." *I'm tired of being a virgin, and every year like someone else said I think to myself "this is going to be the year I lose my virginity."

Hasn't happend!

Like other people thats posted on here, I am an introvert, and I cannot stand clubs. *Although bars I don't mind. *Except guys at bars are usually jock/jug heads that only think about sex or sports.. So blah. *

I mainly am tired of being single and sexless. haha

[i<3karma]

SEX IS OVERATED!!!!! be a virgin and stop worrying about it itll happen at the right time what you have to remember here is that it wont be earth shattering or life changing. the thing that can make it special is who you loose it to. and dont be shy adout it some women....the ones who arent sluts. will apreciate it. now what is appealing to women. ive never had a problem myself but i have a few qualities/things they seem to like, be nice, be confident, be comfortable. learn to play bass ...five string is best, and drive a cool car...i drive a 64 dodge bart matte black chicks dig it and it was even cheap.