Adults still being virgins over the age of 20???

[Greendale]

What is your opinion on adults still being virgins over the age of 20? I've heard from some people who think it is pathetic, I've heard from women they love adult men who are still virgins (because the experienced women do love training men whose never had sex before), etc. Please be honest on your opinion.

Let me explain below:

I've never had a serious long-term girlfriend. I've been out with women "as close friends", nothing serious so that shows I have lots of confidence around women. I am not afraid of asking women out and I am not afraid of talking to women. I love women very much. I am a very open minded person who loves talking to people to just about anything. I mean anything. I'm very confidence around people.

You see, I am 27 year old, and I've never had sex. Yep, that is true that I've never had sexual intercourse. I've had many people tell me, "When are you going to get a girlfriend?", "When are you ever going to get laid?", "I lost my virginity at 15 or 16, why are you still a virgin now?", etc. I get those questions all the time. My response, "Sex isn't everything, enjoy life while you can." They usually say nothing after that.

I'm not an ugly looking guy, people say that I'm attractive and good looking/cute women called me. I've had women request sexual favors from me, but I refuse to have sex with them, since I was only friends with them for a short period of time and I was never a "one night stand" kind of a guy.

Why is there people in such a rush to have sex? Most adults lose their virginity in their teens but is there a law where it says every adult needs to lose their virginity at a young age? No. People can lose their virginity whenever they want to. Doesn't matter what age. Sex isn't everything in life. As I repeatidily stated above, "enjoy life while you can". I am a virgin at my own decision. People make their own decisions in life and that all there is to it.

If I wanted, I can go out there and grab a woman to bring to "get laid" but as I said, I've never been that "one night stand" kind of guy.

Sure, I love women a lot, too much, I love porn. I love buying girly magazines and I look at porn on the internet. I masterbate (aka Jerking off) a couple of times a day. So whenever I have sex for the first time, I'll know what to do and I'll figure it out. I'll just do the same thing the male porn stars do in the porn videos. As I said, I'm not scared and I have a lot of confidence around women.

This one time, me and a few guy friends of mine went to a strip club. Okay, I admit, I have a little sexual experience but I still didn't lose my virginity, since the only way to lose your virginity is to have intercourse. I went to a strip club (once) because my buddies talked me into going with them so I decided "what the hell, sure, I'll go and see what it's like". So I went to the strip club, got many lap dances with many different women. A few of the women actually allowed me to feel all over her body and she even allowed me to play with her boobs and squeeze them for a few minutes. Again, I wasn't scared and wasn't nervous one bit. That still wasn't losing my virginity, all I did with the female strippers was feel their private parts and do a little french kissing and making out. So you begin to think, "You're a hypocrite, you said you weren't a 'one night stand' kind of guy and you got lap dances at a strip club'". So I said, "I know, the only reason I got lap dances from strippers was that I wanted to get a little preview and a little sexual experience to see what 'sex' is all about".

The sex with the strippers was great, I really enjoyed it, the women had amazing bodies and they were beautiful, it's obvious that women exercise and work out to get that perfect body.... but I don't ever plan on going to a strip club again. A few days after the strip club, I began to feel a little depressed and guilty that I spent all that money on women I barely know. Again, I just did that to get a little sexual experience with "actual women" and to see what it's all about.

I'm the type of guy that wants a serious relationship with a woman, and I want more than just sex with her. I want to have sex with someone who I know extremely well and someone who I truly love. If I find a woman who I truly love and if she'll respect me like a real human being, then I'll accept the sex if she'll accept it.

I've went out with women in the past who I wouldn't call girlfriends. I've had many "short" relationships that turned out bad. Many women used me for money and their own entertainment, in other words, women used me to tease me and test me. Those are the type of women I stay away from. There are evil women out there, that's why I stopped dating women for a while because I'm tired of playing sick games with them. The thing is, I do not want to lose my virginity to some stupid woman I barely know. I want to lose my viriginity to someone special and to someone who I truly love. Now I am ready to start dating women again. I haven't found a new woman to go out with yet, but I am looking and working hard on it. I will lose my virginity when I think I am ready, do not care what anyone says.

Hopefully I'll keep a steady girlfriend next time around. That's my goal this year. But I'm working real hard on trying to "lose my viriginity" soon but only when the time is right. I'm tired of being alone, that's why I'm out there searching for a new love.

Another thing I forgot to say, is that it's good to not have sex, so you won't go risking diseases or accidentily getting women pregnant when they don't want it. Some people feel safe to not have sex, that's why a lot of older adults are still virgins too, that could be another reason.

Any thoughts on this matter? Sorry for making this post so long, I had a lot to say get everything off my chest.

[oberon]

Wow, that was kind of long...lol. But I'm glad you got it off your chest. I'll make mine fairly short. Since to me it's pretty simple.

You do what makes YOU happy. When you want to have sex, for whatever reason, then have sex. If you don't, don't. No one else has to live inside your skin so what "they" say really doesn't matter.

[mason1]

whew....you can write.
Don't ever let anyone give you crap about being a virgin. You may be a minority in society today, but I think that it is refreshing.
Wait until you are ready, even if that means waiting until you are 60 (well...hopefully before then ) It will be worth it, and the woman you decide to be with will be lucky.

G-luck!

[thetease13]

let people think what they want. as long as you're comfortable with it, that's all that matters.
I was proud to say that I was a 22 year old virgin. In infact only lost my virginity a month before I turned 23. I was proud that I was a rare breed.

Now, that's not saying I'm not proud I lost my virginity because in fact, I lost it to the person I wanted to and I have no regrets about it either. I couldn't imagine losing it to anyone else. He was in fact my first for everything. (first kiss, first feel up, etc.) and without him, I would still very much be one. I've never had a boyfriend, ever. And even though I'm with him, he's not my boyfriend. He's whatever he is.

But as oberon said, you do what makes you happy.
When it's the right time, you'll know.

[SliderNL]

I'm glad that I'm reading this, as it means I'm not alone. I;m 25 and yes practicaly a virgin. I've had some girlfriends and fooled around but to put it bluntly I never penetrated a women before. I don't think you have to have sex. In the most cases everyone decides when there are ready and at that point it's the right time. I think you should think apart having sex and making love. Sex is easy, love ain't but gives more satisfaction. I have a girlfriend right know and we are very happy just building to the point we are both happy with it. She is a virgin as well.

The one thing that really frustrates me is that people start to treat to you different if you don't have a girlfriend (or boyfriend for that matter) for some time. I have been single for four years and people find that strange, my sister had the same thing and was getting really tired with people asking questions about it. I actually really started tot dislike romantic commercials, clips etc on TV. As I'm madly in love with my girlfriend that's changed know. But sometimes I feel people forget how many singles are out there.

[Greendale]

Thanks for agreeing with me everyone. Yes, I think it is wrong and immature for someone to make fun of someone over 20 years old still being a virgin.

But I do plan on to lose my virginity real soon, my goal is I'm hoping to lose my viriginity before I hit 30 years old.

[milonga]

Well Greendale, I'm 27 too and still a virgin, so you are not alone

I think I haven't met the special one yet and actually when I look back at my past relationships I realise more and more that I've made the right decision. Once, I was dumped by one of my ex-boyfriends just because I didn't sleep with him and I got devastated then but now I'm glad he did that. I'm glad he opened my eyes. I think I will wait until I get married, because then I will know that the person I'm going to marry is the one. Call me old-fashioned but that's just how I feel. I don't have a boyfriend right now and I don't want to have one until I find someone I really love and who loves me back. My first and the longest relationship ended because I couldn't love him as much as he loved me. So, that's my biggest fear. I want to find love - who doesn't? lol- but also love and lust for someone who is really worth it. Sex and love cannot be separated but love comes first. People come and ask me "how come you don't have a boyfriend?" and I'm trying not to get irritated. It's not difficult to find a bf really but the thing is to find real happiness if it's possible. Am I too pessimistic? lol. Hope not.

[JohnDoe]

Originally Posted by [b

Quote[/b] (Greendale @ May 03 2004,13:43)]Thanks for agreeing with me everyone. Yes, I think it is wrong and immature for someone to make fun of someone over 20 years old still being a virgin.

But I do plan on to lose my virginity real soon, my goal is I'm hoping to lose my viriginity before I hit 30 years old.

Hey Greendale,

Forget about age. *Age is just a number over which you have no control. *It's not about how old you are when you have sex for the first time, but rather how you feel and what you hope to get out of the experience. *I'm sure that when you finally do experience it for the first time, you'll be glad you waited for the right girl to come along, just as I will be glad my right girl comes along.

I just turned 30, and yes, I'm still a virgin. *Not only that, but I'm damn proud of it. *And if the people you hang around with are giving you a hard time or teasing you or anything along those lines, maybe it's time to re-evaluate the friends you keep. *My friends never give me any grief about it because they've come to respect that it's a personal choice that I have made a long time ago.

I'm a perfectly healthy and normal male. *I have a great career, I take exceptional care of myself physically, and I know exactly what I want out of life. *I have my sexual urges and desires the same as everyone else does. *The only difference is that I'm an "evolved male", as I like to refer to it, because I am able to separate sex from my everyday life. *To me, sex is something that I will share with the one girl that I'll spend the rest of my life with. *I haven't met her yet, but I'm sure she's out there.

I've had plenty of "sexual experience" over the last 10 years since my first serious girlfriend, but I never went "all the way". *I always knew where my limits were, and so did my girlfriends. *I actually ended my last relationship about a year ago because she was becoming too obsessive with her sexual needs, and refused to understand my position which I have maintained for many years before I met her, which is that I will not have sex with her (or anyone else) until I have a committment from that person which will lead to marriage. *

The ironic thing is that today, most women I meet find me all the more appealing and attractive due to the fact that I'm still a virgin. *They love the fact that I don't sleep around and that I'm not a player looking for the next sure thing. *They love knowing that I'm looking for something serious and long-term and last but certainly not least, they love knowing they have nothing to fear from me in terms of having 7 or 8 different STDs.

So hang in there, and never let anyone make you feel bad about it. *Your time will come, but don't try to force the issue. *One of the things you said was you want to lose your virginity soon, preferably by the age of 30. *My advice to you would be to lose the "plan", and just go with what feels right. *If you meet someone you want to have that experience with for the first time, it might happen tomorrow or it might not happen until next month, or next year, or maybe not for the next 5 years. *The choice is yours to make, and yours alone.

You're absolutely right. *There's so much more to life than just sex, and sadly there are so many idiot men (and women) who have their priorities completely screwed up.

[Brauul]

Just thought I would throw in a quick reply. *I was a virgin at 26 ...Just never had the right circumstances. *Yeah, people will tell you that you probably lose out on "wild sex" when you are younger, but lemme tell you, when you are in a relationship and both of you are comfortable with eachother, the sex can be both wild and sensual (one or the other or both). *Strive for your ideal relationship but also keep in mind that you only live once. *I mean don't go out screwing everything with a heartbeat, but know what you want and try for it! *If you don't like or want the experience, then by all means don't do it! *Have fun with what you are doing and make sure that it is what YOU want. *You really aren't alone at all. *Just have fun and live life. *You honestly never know what is going to happen from one day to the next, so have fun and take the opportunities if you see them (and want them).

[JCrew05]

yeah well im 17 and have had sex with 3 different girls...not proud of it because its not as special sharing it with someone i actually care about now...consider yourself lucky

-word