Adults still being virgins over the age of 20???

[EvilEvilKitten]

And without a driver's license!

[Clouded]

bout the link you gave me..i think it's always communication that's very important..if you have a good communication and at least a good knowledge on love making..i don't think it should be a problem..i guess we should be open with each other..if you can't then..there's no good communication..hence..a problem..

not the first time i hear people giving this kind of opinions..where we should test it out before going on to the deeper stage...I also heard of people having happy marriage even being virgins until they got married. They might not be many of them here in the forums..but there might be many out there? So i guess it's like depends on people i guess..

oh well..just my opinion..i am sure people will bombard me for this..lol..

[sera300]

To me that's like playing Russian Roulette. Too much of a gamble for potential future unhappiness. I also buy shoes after I try them on. A marriage and LTR is a investment of both his & my time; I do not want to leave much to chance since once you get into a marriage itself; a different set of challenges arise. Playing "hope we do well sexually" is not one where there is much room for latitude since the other issues will bombard you and coupled with the lack of sex the marriage erodes. I promise, unless both are happy being non-sexual.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Clouded it is not likely that any married couple is going to tell you they are dissatisfied with their sex life simply because they do not know any better! They just accept it and think that that is all there is and since it wasn''t that much fun to begin with, they let it go and say things like "sex isn't everything".

You should be pitying them, not emulating them!
Ignorance is NOT bliss!

Should I ever become single again - you can be sure that an extensive exploration of his sexual abilities will be high on my selection checklist.

As it was before I first got married to this wonderful man!

[sera300]

To perhaps explain this in the reverse for you Clouded: I never knew married people had bad sex lives. I have been married twice, knew what I was getting when I wed, and had great sex-life as a married couple each time. The first time this epiphany struck me was when a woman I worked with said she had not slept w/her husband in two years & did once and accidentally became pregnant, they were planning a divorce. This was not normal conversations at work nor anything I ever discussed with my friends. My sex life was always personal since I was 14. I did not discuss it with other's, until a few years back; I found many divorcing for reasons such as lack of sex; she was never really sexual, or he never really was into it. I thought people had sex nearly every day, as I did...I was quite naive. Not too many married people go around and talk about how bad their sex life is until they are nearing the end of the marriage!

Another myth I had; I thought all women could have orgasms with ease during penetration...

Communication is key, but how do you convince someone to enjoy sex? You don't.

[Clouded]

Well, happily married couples do not come here to tell us as well. (there could be a few asking some questions) There wouldn't need for them to come here unless they are curious of certain things. I feel that maybe some of the people that come here are unhappy and they try looking for a solution here as it is convenient. So my assumption is you don't see that many happy ones here.

Anyway it's just my opinion. I think even having sex after marriage there can be no problem if a couple at that stage is really comfortable and their communication level is good. There shouldn't be a problem. If there is a problem, they would be able to talk things out and improve if both parties are willing to be open and willing to give in. So i don't see the problem of waiting.

You might think that there is a risk, ya maybe there is? but for me, I am sure i will be fine if i married my gf because there is a certain communication and understanding between us.

Oh well, just my opinion again. I know you ladies have been through a lot but this is just what i think. Might get bombard again for it.. Lol..

[sera300]

We all pick our poisons!

[Clouded]

Indeed. but this is no poison for me Thanks anyway for the views. Time for bed now. Will be back when i am free

[EvilEvilKitten]

Who says you don't get happy couples in here?

I'm happily married and have been to the same man for 29 years now!
We still adore eachother and no, neither of us were virgins when we married.

[oedipussy]

Man, virgins are something else. This is one of the bleakest things I've ever read. Everyone's on here making excuses for themselves so they can feel better about the fact that they're afraid of taking chances... Get out there and live life, for crying out loud.

All of this waiting for the "right person" stuff is crap. Why - so when you finally find her/him and go for it they dump your ass for being horrible in the sack? No one wants a project. I try to avoid virgins like the plague... The last "girlfriend" I ever had years ago was a virgin and it made me miserable hearing everyone talk about their great sex lives while I was stuck with some prude.

Clouded -

2 and a half years with her and you two still haven't had sex yet? Have you even TRIED yet? What the hell are you two waiting for? MARRIAGE? Yeesh, I wouldn't even buy a used couch for $10 without getting to sit on it first, and you're gonna devote the rest of your life to someone that you don't even know that you're compatible with? Not a good idea...