Adults still being virgins over the age of 20???

[EvilEvilKitten]

Truly, all of your insecurities are killing you. Until you address why you're so very timid and why you refuse to live your life to the fullest, there isn't anyhting anyone can do for you. Period.

You say you're fat. Well, why is that?
You say you don't speak well. Why is that?

If you DON'T just FIX your issues and get on with solving those "whys" - don't come crying to us for help.
ONLY YOU can help you.

So get on with it.

[Humble]

Originally Posted by mike99

Well I am fat. But I don't think that will change my face, which is rather bad looking.

There are some things that you cannot reasonably change. Your face is one of them. If it is not good looking, than it is not good looking... Luckily, however, I don't think women require you to be perfect and the fatness is something you can change if you make the effort.

I don't speak very well at all and don't say much around people I don't know.

I don't have much to say when I talk to a female unless i'm asking directions for something.

I wouldn't know what to say.

You said your standards are not too high and you would be willing to tolerate flaws in a woman, but ask yourself this: Would you want to be with a woman who is morbidly obese, has a large mole on her forehead, has terrible breath, has a disfigured face, reeks from a distance, has an aggressive demeanor, insults you constantly, shouts expletive remarks at passers-by, is unintelligent, has 8 kids she wants you to support and pay for and behaves in a generally uncouth manner?

You would doubtlessly say no (or else you are so unimaginably desperate that I don't know what else to say). The point of this is to illustrate that although there might not be any one feature that would be a dealbreaker for you, once enough of the negative features accumulate, you would no longer be willing to go out with the woman.

It is likely that women think the same way. So there may not be any one feature that repels women from you so much that you are unable to get a date. It may just be that you have too many, individually only mildly negative, features for the women you have been trying to date to accept. So don't let your face, which you cannot really change, be an excuse for not improving yourself in other ways. Consider the hypothetical woman I described above. What if instead of all those negative features she only had the large mole on her forehead. Would you say you would be willing to date her then? I suspect the answer is yes. Now reverse it to yourself. You needn't be perfect for women to date you - you just need to eliminate or minimize some of the things that women find unattractive.

[mike99]

Originally Posted by Humble

There are some things that you cannot reasonably change. Your face is one of them. If it is not good looking, than it is not good looking... Luckily, however, I don't think women require you to be perfect and the fatness is something you can change if you make the effort.

I know I can change that.....even tho it isn't easy.

Dunno if I can change my voice.

I hate the sound of it and how I talk, and so do other people.

You said your standards are not too high and you would be willing to tolerate flaws in a woman, but ask yourself this: Would you want to be with a woman who is morbidly obese, has a large mole on her forehead, has terrible breath, has a disfigured face, reeks from a distance, has an aggressive demeanor, insults you constantly, shouts expletive remarks at passers-by, is unintelligent, has 8 kids she wants you to support and pay for and behaves in a generally uncouth manner?

That is extreme tho.

Besides being shy, ugly and having a bad voice, I also have bad teeth. And perfect teeth seem to be a big thing for females.

I still don't think it compares you your distription. That chick is messed up.

It is likely that women think the same way. So there may not be any one feature that repels women from you so much that you are unable to get a date. It may just be that you have too many, individually only mildly negative, features for the women you have been trying to date to accept. So don't let your face, which you cannot really change, be an excuse for not improving yourself in other ways. Consider the hypothetical woman I described above. What if instead of all those negative features she only had the large mole on her forehead. Would you say you would be willing to date her then? I suspect the answer is yes. Now reverse it to yourself. You needn't be perfect for women to date you - you just need to eliminate or minimize some of the things that women find unattractive.

I'd date her.

[Brandye]

And now Humble is sucked into the maelstrom. Round and round and round and round and .....

[Humble]

Originally Posted by mike99

I know I can change that.....even tho it isn't easy.

No it isn't easy, but it is worthwhile if you wish to find a woman (and even for general health and self-confidence).

Dunno if I can change my voice.

I hate the sound of it and how I talk, and so do other people.

If you have a voice that you hate the sound of, don't concentrate on that. Concentrate on the things you can change!

Originally Posted by mike99

That is extreme tho.

Besides being shy, ugly and having a bad voice, I also have bad teeth. And perfect teeth seem to be a big thing for females.

I still don't think it compares you your distription. That chick is messed up.

It is extreme on purpose to illustrate the point not to say that your situation directly compares to that only in reverse.

I'd date her.

See? Perfection is not required - you just need to minimize the aspects women consider negative. So don't dwell on the things you cannot change and start improving the things you can change!

[EvilEvilKitten]

And so, on it goes as earnest wishes to help meet the brick wall of hopelessness.

[mike99]

Originally Posted by Humble

No it isn't easy, but it is worthwhile if you wish to find a woman (and even for general health and self-confidence).

I agree.

I've been thinking about losing weight for awhile.

Food has just got in the way.

If you have a voice that you hate the sound of, don't concentrate on that. Concentrate on the things you can change!

Problem is that alot of people do concentrate on it.

I was messed with all throught my school years for how I talked. So I tend not to say alot around people nowadays.

See? Perfection is not required - you just need to minimize the aspects women consider negative. So don't dwell on the things you cannot change and start improving the things you can change!

Well my standards aren't very high.

I think it's laughable that someone can have high standards when they have trouble getting anyone.

Some people should lower their standards and expectations.

[EvilEvilKitten]

"Food just got in the way" - notice how he is so helpless?
Get a voice coach/speech therapist and stop eating.

[RATED-RKOFRANKLIN]

You said you are overweight. Go to the gym. Get a work coach. You also said you don't have any friends. You can meet new people at the gym, men and women. Start friendships with the people at the gym. Try to spend time with them outside of the gym.

Also where do you work at? Try to interact with your coworkers. I work on campus and I interact with students and staff everyday. This is also how I met some new girls at my school.

[mike99]

Originally Posted by EvilEvilKitten

"Food just got in the way" - notice how he is so helpless?

That was me making a joke.

Get a voice coach/speech therapist and stop eating.

I'm gonna assume that might cost a bit of money, which is something I do not have.