Adults still being virgins over the age of 20???

[keratin]

Originally Posted by RATED-RKOFRANKLIN

I'm going to say this one more time, he does not want help. He does not care about getting his problems solved. All he makes is excuses!

I don't think my problems can be solved. Because people try and what do I do? I turn around and push them away and tell them to get lost; or I get angry with them because I hate to hear what they have to say....because I don't like the idea that some of these problems have simple answers...and that if I was half as strong as I think I am...that I could actually deal with these problems simply. But I'm a coward...so...why bother.

There are caring people in this world who would help you. In matter of fact you are now speaking to some on this forum! Avoiding people will never help anyone. You say you want help, but you avoid it!

Caring people who are derisive and basically said they're better off giving up...yes...I can feel the love in the air....

This comment is interesting. He clearly said he had help before.

Yeah, and surprise they freaking abandoned me, told me that 'we only do short term work'...basically said I was too screwed up to be fixed and then left me to my own devices...the sad thing was we were actually making headway...I was actually being social and enjoying portions of my life...now I've ostracized everyone again...and burnt all those bridges.

[keratin]

Originally Posted by EvilEvilKitten

Then you need a better paying job. See to it.
And STOP WHINING!

WHAT JOBS! There are none! Not in my field of study...the government's shredded the budget...and since the government is the provider of 99% of the jobs in my field...well...it rather makes finding a job rather hard....and I'm in no position to move.

[lnt1103]

Originally Posted by keratin

I don't think my problems can be solved. Because people try and what do I do?

So you've already given up. You've already quit on yourself.

Originally Posted by keratin

I turn around and push them away and tell them to get lost; or I get angry with them because I hate to hear what they have to say....

Um, it's called tough love. As in, I honestly don't give a sh*t if you like hearing it, sometimes we have to hear things we don't want to hear because they're true. Sometimes we have to do things we don't want to do because it's what's best. It's called real life. It's called being an adult.

Originally Posted by keratin

Caring people who are derisive and basically said they're better off giving up...yes...I can feel the love in the air....

How incredibly selfish. You expect the people trying to help you, to continue to do so after you've already given up on yourself. We try to get you to stand up against this thing, WHICH YOU CAN DO, but instead the only stand you'll take is to refuse to do a damn thing because you find it useless. Well, I guess even refusal to act is, in itself, taking action. So have at it.

But I got news for you. You best learn to give a sh*t about YOURSELF before you expect anyone else to. If you don't, why should anyone else waste the energy? People got enough of their own problems without having to baby you at the same time.

[EvilEvilKitten]

"Yeah, and surprise they freaking abandoned me, told me that 'we only do short term work'...basically said I was too screwed up to be fixed and then left me to my own devices...the sad thing was we were actually making headway...I was actually being social and enjoying portions of my life...now I've ostracized everyone again...and burnt all those bridges. "

Oh so you need your little hand held? You cannot remember what was said/done to get you on the right road and do it yourself?

What a WIMP!

And ya know, I'd bet there were jobs out there for you but you were too spineless to go and get them.

[keratin]

Originally Posted by EvilEvilKitten

Oh so you need your little hand held? You cannot remember what was said/done to get you on the right road and do it yourself?

What a WIMP!

You're right, I'm a wimp...

I submit to my habits easily and consistently. I let what other people think about me bother me to the point that I believe it to the exclusion of everything else. I'm a wimp, I'm a coward, I'm a selfish, wimpy coward. I don't know what you want me to say, if you expect me to rebuke the allegation or what...but I'm not going to. You've got me pinned dead to rights, caught me red handed...in my wimpery and cowardice and my selfishness...and my selfish wimpy cowardice...judged, tried and convicted...yes you are right; I'm not going to deny it.

And ya know, I'd bet there were jobs out there for you but you were too spineless to go and get them.

You're probably right. There were probably jobs that I could do; possibly jobs I may have liked doing, possibly jobs that I could've liked doing and that would've given a lot of money....but I was too cowardly, and selfish and too much of wimp to try to get them because all I saw was my own weakness and inability; and none of my alleged good traits. All I saw was how everyone else that would potentially have applied would've been superior to me, and how I always seem to fail at these sorts of things...and everything else; and I was scared and I was coward so I let the fear control me. If I had been braver, had chosen to be braver...then things wouldn't be so bad; but I didn't...so they aren't...and there's no point in dwelling on that.

[keratin]

Originally Posted by lnt1103

So you've already given up. You've already quit on yourself.

No one else sees a use for me; why should I? I'm just a selfish coward; hardly worth the effort.

Um, it's called tough love. As in, I honestly don't give a sh*t if you like hearing it, sometimes we have to hear things we don't want to hear because they're true. Sometimes we have to do things we don't want to do because it's what's best. It's called real life. It's called being an adult.

I do things I don't want to do everyday. So don't get all uppity with me about 'not doing things I don't like to do because I have to'. The things I have to do like get up in the morning...and not step into traffic, are things a normal person would never waste energy on (or rarely waste energy on); but for me, those sort of self-annihilative tendencies are a considerable drain on everything I do. I know you'll think that that's just another plea for pity but it isn't; I'm trying to demonstrate how...a person can be so apathetic to the 'higher functions of life'...it's because they are wasting energy drumming up the will to engage the lower functions of life (like not getting hit by a truck).

How incredibly selfish. You expect the people trying to help you, to continue to do so after you've already given up on yourself. We try to get you to stand up against this thing, WHICH YOU CAN DO, but instead the only stand you'll take is to refuse to do a damn thing because you find it useless. Well, I guess even refusal to act is, in itself, taking action. So have at it.

You try to get me to stand up to this thing by giving it better arguments to beat me across the chops with...yes; I can see it now...you're trying to get its guard down by letting it maul me to death...thanks...

I just recieved a test today...which makes it a clean sweep of A's for this half of a semester...and do you think I feel proud about it...? I don't...and a part of me wants to know why I'm not proud of it...and all I can think is that those grades don't make a difference...that it's just meaningless...

But I got news for you. You best learn to give a sh*t about YOURSELF before you expect anyone else to. If you don't, why should anyone else waste the energy? People got enough of their own problems without having to baby you at the same time.

Which is why I tend to avoid relationships altogether...I know I'm a hinderance and a bother and a leech...so I argue to myself that it's better if I lock myself away from everyone else...than expose them to me. I suppose you see that as an exceptionally selfish and cowardly thing to do...and it is. It was a choice I made though.

Everytime I try to care for myself; I end up looking selfish though. I make a decision that I think will make my life better, and I get brow-beat by my family and they pull these assanine shennanigans and I end up getting dragged back into the pit...every time I make some damned headway they pull stupid shit and I get pulled back.

[lnt1103]

Originally Posted by keratin

No one else sees a use for me; why should I? I'm just a selfish coward; hardly worth the effort.

You have this backwards. YOU have to care FIRST. You have to show people there's a reason for them to care, by first caring yourself. If you present yourself as pitiable, you'll be pitied. If you present yourself as worthless, you'll not be valued. Conversely, if you present yourself as valuable, you WILL be valued. If you present yourself as respectable, you'll be respected. If you present yourself as lovable, you'll be loved.

But in order to present yourself that way, you have to believe it of yourself. Hence the recommendation to get help who can show you how to do that.

Originally Posted by keratin

You try to get me to stand up to this thing by giving it better arguments to beat me across the chops with...yes; I can see it now...you're trying to get its guard down by letting it maul me to death...thanks...

Actually, what I'm trying to do is get you so pissed off at me, you stand up and decide to get better and prove me wrong for the sheer satisfaction of shoving it up my ass, then pulling it back out and making me eat it.

Originally Posted by keratin

Everytime I try to care for myself; I end up looking selfish though. I make a decision that I think will make my life better, and I get brow-beat by my family and they pull these assanine shennanigans and I end up getting dragged back into the pit...every time I make some damned headway they pull stupid shit and I get pulled back.

There comes a point where you have to not allow them to pull you back in. When people in your life are toxic to you, you have to care enough about yourself to stay away. If they love you, they get over it.

[keratin]

Originally Posted by lnt1103

But in order to present yourself that way, you have to believe it of yourself. Hence the recommendation to get help who can show you how to do that.

But it's just bluster. I always feel...wrong...like I never feel justified...that it doesn't matter how I feelt that it's wrong...If I feel good about myself I'm being cocky, if I feel bad about myself I'm being pathetic...nothing's ever right! Everything in my head tells me I'm wrong...even when I'm right I'm wrong.

Actually, what I'm trying to do is get you so pissed off at me, you stand up and decide to get better and prove me wrong for the sheer satisfaction of shoving it up my ass, then pulling it back out and making me eat it.

I don't really get mad at other people...I get...petulent at best. Because...of the above. Being angry at other people is wrong, because I'm wrong...so I just accept what the other person says...and get angry at myself...since that seems to be the only reaction that's right.

There comes a point where you have to not allow them to pull you back in. When people in your life are toxic to you, you have to care enough about yourself to stay away. If they love you, they get over it.

My family doesn't get over anything. And if I left them it'd just be another wrong decision I made. I just get tired of it. I get tired of not being allowed to be me...every damned time I have free time...I get a damned call to do this or come here or go there....I'm so damned sick of it!! Not that it'd matter much...I'd just piss the time away like I normally do....

[EvilEvilKitten]

So what if it is?

Because the truth is - the more you do it, the more you will believe in it yourself which will then MAKE IT REAL and NOT just bluster

DUH!!!

[keratin]

Originally Posted by EvilEvilKitten

So what if it is?

Because the truth is - the more you do it, the more you will believe in it yourself which will then MAKE IT REAL and NOT just bluster

DUH!!!

Do you really think that's true?

I just have a hard time seeing it...coming true. I wish I had something to be proud of to make it at least seem plausible.