Adults still being virgins over the age of 20???

[nuttychick]

Originally Posted by lnt1103

No one said it's going to be easy. It will take a lot of hard work on your part. And at some point, if you TRULY want this to change, you're going to have to stop whimpering about it and DO SOMETHING to change it. Stop babbling and gathering sympathy and take some ACTION to get to where you want to go. Fish or cut bait.

Awesome advice ..

Just hope it sinks in lol

[keratin]

Originally Posted by lnt1103

If you wanted to get the help badly enough you'd find a way to pay for it. But you don't want it. This is more about wanting to stay in your anti-social ways than anything else.

How, pray tell, will I gather the funds to pay for this...stuff!? What income I get is barely enough to cover my normal bills (I can't even cover my loans), let alone paying for a psychiatrist! And I suppose you'll say something like 'well you could get a second or third job if you really wanted it'...yes because I totally love being burnt out...all the time (never mind the little issue called the huge ass recession that's going on). It is a damn sight better not getting help if getting help puts me in a damn bigger hole than not getting help. It has nothing to do with 'wanting to stay in my antisocial ways' and everything to do with an absolute lack of financial practicality, so you can stuff your sanctimony...

[keratin]

Originally Posted by nuttychick

Awesome advice ..

Just hope it sinks in lol

Awesome advice if you have the money to follow it; otherwise it's so much sanctimonious hot air...

[lnt1103]

....and I become the stupid insensitive sanctimonious bad guy and you get to stay settled where you are because it's familiar and easy and because you don't have to listen to stupid insensitive sanctimonious bad guys. And you're right, you don't.

Except that it's not sanctimony as you'd prefer to believe. It's recognition in you of a depressed place I once was myself.

But it's time I took my own advice to stop investing.

[nuttychick]

I am thinking this is getting to be a waste of time ...
It truely is a waste of time trying to help those who won't help themselves...

[EvilEvilKitten]

You pay for it by working or by utilizing the facilities afforded you by whichever university you're at. They all have some sort of health facility.

[keratin]

Originally Posted by EvilEvilKitten

You pay for it by working or by utilizing the facilities afforded you by whichever university you're at. They all have some sort of health facility.

I work, it won't cover it...

The university I'm at only does exceptionally short term work with students...before shunting them off to some psychiatrist that I can't afford.

[RATED-RKOFRANKLIN]

I'm going to say this one more time, he does not want help. He does not care about getting his problems solved. All he makes is excuses!

Originally Posted by keratin

My problems are so bad that I don't let people help me...I seal myself off; because other people are dangerous...and I'm not the safest person in the world either...considering all the stuff I don't say when I'm angry and the like...and all the stuff I spontaneously think about.

I don't hang around with people. I don't even deal with my family that often. I simply don't engage with people...and when I do it's on a very superficially fake level that's necessary to move around in the world; but never on an intimate level. I've never felt secure enough to be that open with people. I wouldn't even know how to...I'd end up just being superficial and going through the motions...so I could get to the point where I could get away. I've tried flirting with people but I don't think I have the knack...I'm too obtuse or too overt...and I end up scaring or confusing the other person...and like I said, my social reference point is far older than my own age...so my ability to relate with people my own age is...limited. That and despite certain physiological urges...I don't feel excited or desirous of engaging people; I don't see or recognize the benefits. That and I fear that I myself would be too caustic a person to be in a healthy relationship...I'm afraid that I would be abusive...in some way and I don't want to be...so the best way not to be abusive is to avoid abusive situations (at least that's how I see it). I just see myself as a screw up. It isn't that I'm not proficient...it's just that I never do anything with it...I could do so much and I don't...I just stare at the application forms and nitpick the wording and convince myself that I'd never be able to get the job, or the school slot.

If I get the job or the slot that I feel like I'm constantly screwing up (even when I'm doing a marvelous job) that it's only a matter of time before people realize how much of a screw up I am; and I'll get fired or kicked out. Which ends up leaving constantly anxious about everything; and being even more anxious when I'm succeeding than when I'm failing....I don't get that high of achievement from doing a job well; I just feel like someone is going to find out that I really suck and expose it to everyone....when I do a job. So doing well in school or work doesn't help...it almost always makes things worse for me.

There are caring people in this world who would help you. In matter of fact you are now speaking to some on this forum! Avoiding people will never help anyone. You say you want help, but you avoid it!

Originally Posted by keratin

I've rather accepted that I'm just one of those people that never...live the common life.

This comment is interesting. He clearly said he had help before.

Originally Posted by keratin

I've gone to therapy before...and we've done the 'do something that makes you feel good about yourself...do something you feel proud of'...I do it and then I never feel proud of it...even if it's perfect...it's not good enough...or it could be better...or someone else did a better job....I don't do pride...

[nuttychick]

lol Dearest Franklin he is a she lol

[EvilEvilKitten]

Then you need a better paying job. See to it.
And STOP WHINING!