Adults still being virgins over the age of 20???

[funinthesun]

Damn, I saw Sera's post and thought she was back. If you're out there I hope you're doing well!

[EvilEvilKitten]

Same here, funin!
It has been far too long since we last heard from her!

[Guitar Guy]

I was 21 when i lost my virginity. I'm still with my gf today. We both lost our virginity to each other and we had no problems loosing it at our respective ages.

[keratin]

Originally Posted by KarateGirl

Wow.

A virgin at 27? 40??

I'm a 19 year old female, and there's nothing wrong with being a virgin, up to a certain point. I don't think I'd date a guy older than 24 knowing that he was a virgin.

So there's a magical time period where between the points of being 23 years 364 days, 23 hours and 59 minutes old and the point of being 24 years old, that some magical switch is flipped that turns him from 'ok' to obviously damaged and wrong.

Because it tells me that there's something wrong with him. I need a guy who has confidence. Who can make things happen. Who isn't afraid of living life.

And you telling him he's a sad schmuck is going to make him so much more confident in the future....and he most certainly isn't going to be even more self-aware and terrified with revealing the truth...yes...marvelous strategy there.

And its complete bull**** to say that people who feel the same as me are judgemental or don't understand real relationships or all that other crap.

Except you are passing judgment. It has nothing to do with your understanding of relationships and everything to do with you passing judgment on people because they have a different (and at times equally valid) outlook on life that doesn't include sex.

Because you know what? Sex is part of life. If we substituted any other important part of life for sex, people would be beating you with sticks. "I'm 27 and I've never been able to hold down a job. Am I the only one?" "I'm 40 and I've never learned to dress myself. Why do my friends make fun of me?"

Why are we babying these people? It doesn't help them.

Surprisingly neither does treating them like leppers. As for your analogies there is a significant difference between getting a job or dressing oneself and getting laid ie two of these things are part of basic social interactions and one of these things is only really important for interpersonal relationships of the private kind. I have a hard time believing that under a legal contract you could get kicked out of your house for not having sex.

Despite all of that, what if the guy simply had no interest (I suppose he'd be a freak of one sort or another since men must want sex). And sometimes it truly is down to a lack of interest; or they had other priorities in their lives that didn't include sex.

So if the basic problem of these people, is that they are virgins and thusly some kind of scourge on the face of humanity then I for one see a very simple answer have sex with them and make them no longer virgins. Most assuredly that would fix it. If everyone who wasn't a virgin picked one person who was a 'late age virgin' and had sex with them, the world would obviously be a better place. In fact we should enforce it as law, once a person reaches 24, if they are still a virgin they'll be taken to a special government holding area and by right of law engage in copulation with a compatible human, thusly no one over 24 will be a virgin and thusly no one would be ooky for you.

[keratin]

Originally Posted by wet_suit_one

Anyone man with a couple hundred bucks can get laid.

Any woman can say yes.

It's just that easy.

But, paying for sex isn't the same as engaging in a meaningful relationship (or really a non-meaningful relationship) and then engaging in sex, it lacks...intimacy which is what half of sex is about in the first place. Yes, it can be thrilling and adventurous but in the end it can also be empty without that core feeling of that other person actually wanting to be there rather than being there for a few bucks.

The same goes for a woman. Yes she most certainly could say 'yes' to just about any man in the house but it only is really satisfying when it's with a man that she wants to be with.

So, it isn't that easy.

EvilEvilKitten
No, but to never have an orgasm?!?!

Some virgins have achieved orgasm without a partner and whilst yes it doesn't really count and isn't nearly the same it is a start.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Hey! being a virgin, or not, has NOTHING to do with relationships and is all about SEX.

If you bought into society's thinking then yes, it has to be perfect, and all is wonderfully romantic, heart & flowers, and fairies dancing in the back garden and the moon rising over the earth! La a la rose petals and daisy chains in your hair.

But come on and get real! WSO is exactly correct. No one HAS to be a virgin is he/she doesn't want to be one.

And above a certain age, say around age 24, being a virgin is a huge handicap.

1. if no one has found you 'acceptable' by now...why should he/she?
2. you can't 'give it up' - have control issues
3. you have issues regarding sex itself - lack of hormones or something stuck in your head
4. you REALLY bought into society's thinking - not an independent adult yet
5. scared - and no one likes cowards

And then you're 'unskilled labor' and there are very few people willing to put up with the needs of the un-educated. Too much like work.

Why 24 years? High school and college is why. If in amongst all of those people you couldn't find ONE person who interested you or was interested in you...see #1 above. The freshman class at Penn State is approx 100,000 persons at their main campus each and every year. If in such a situation "free, free at last!!" you couldn't get laid - then yeah, there's something wrong with you.

Judgmental? Hell yeah! An adult is expected to be judgmental and to exercise that jugdment.
The question comes down to "Ignorance is detrimental." And all virgins, by definition, are ignorant.

[keratin]

Originally Posted by EvilEvilKitten

Hey! being a virgin, or not, has NOTHING to do with relationships and is all about SEX.

If you bought into society's thinking then yes, it has to be perfect, and all is wonderfully romantic, heart & flowers, and fairies dancing in the back garden and the moon rising over the earth! La a la rose petals and daisy chains in your hair.

But come on and get real! WSO is exactly correct. No one HAS to be a virgin is he/she doesn't want to be one.

And above a certain age, say around age 24, being a virgin is a huge handicap.

1. if no one has found you 'acceptable' by now...why should he/she?
2. you can't 'give it up' - have control issues
3. you have issues regarding sex itself - lack of hormones or something stuck in your head
4. you REALLY bought into society's thinking - not an independent adult yet
5. scared - and no one likes cowards

I don't think it is. I don't have control issues. I'm perfectly healthy. I don't think that relationships are very useful without sex and vice versa and can think quite independently thank you. I simply have had better things to do, like school and work. My schedules are far too erratic to maintain a relationship and I do personally think that some basic relationship should be founded before you engage in sex...there are far too many risks and collateral damage for there not to be one (Especially for those who are young and still trying to build a life).

And then you're 'unskilled labor' and there are very few people willing to put up with the needs of the un-educated. Too much like work.

So basically you can't get any experience because you have no experience, so you can't get any experience....yeah...so basically people who are virgins by a certain age should just get themselves out of the way as fast as possible because they are just taking up space. Which rather douses their chances of not being virgins because...well you are pathetic now so you're self-esteem becomes nonexistent...which feeds back into you being a virgin.

Why 24 years? High school and college is why. If in amongst all of those people you couldn't find ONE person who interested you or was interested in you...see #1 above. The freshman class at Penn State is approx 100,000 persons at their main campus each and every year. If in such a situation "free, free at last!!" you couldn't get laid - then yeah, there's something wrong with you.

Yes, because people go to Penn state to have sex...it has nothing to do with you know going to classes, learning or anything else...it's just about the sex.

And have you seen the selection criteria out there. I've seen the competition and I for one decided that my energy was most efficiently put into something more productive than being shot down constantly because I wasn't Biff the quarterback...

All those people!? I come from a town of forty, with a collective High School graduating class size of 30 which was skewed heavily towards males (of which only those in the football team and basketball teams had any chance of getting gf and being an academic type...well...why bother). The town I came from was also skewed towards the geriatric set (retirement age or more). The university I went to was small, also skewed towards a male demographic...which was further skewed because I was in the sciences which tends to be a male dominated environment (despite EOE).

Judgmental? Hell yeah! An adult is expected to be judgmental and to exercise that jugdment.
The question comes down to "Ignorance is detrimental." And all virgins, by definition, are ignorant.

So, people who are otherwise pretty pleasant but just haven't got around to having sex...basically should be treated like leppers....I mean you're basic point creates a logical moebius strip. I think that I'm pretty damn well read on the subject...it's a matter of applying it to practice...which shouldn't take overly long...once such application becomes practical.

[keratin]

Originally Posted by EvilEvilKitten

Hey! being a virgin, or not, has NOTHING to do with relationships and is all about SEX.

If you bought into society's thinking then yes, it has to be perfect, and all is wonderfully romantic, heart & flowers, and fairies dancing in the back garden and the moon rising over the earth! La a la rose petals and daisy chains in your hair.

I'd like to know where, outside of Las Vegas prostitution is legal...and I'd like to know where he thinks a college student is going to get an extra couple hundred bucks to purchase said experience (Which is quite devoid from actual sex as you can get...since it's all a show for you and I doubt it's a good learning experience).

[EvilEvilKitten]

The real reason is:

"And have you seen the selection criteria out there. I've seen the competition and I for one decided that my energy was most efficiently put into something more productive than being shot down constantly because I wasn't Biff the quarterback..."

Tired of being rejected by the girls who are after the quarterback. So choose other girls. Actually yes, part of the reason for going to college is sex and you're behind the power curve.

But what is really wrecking your chances is being bitter. Unless you change that, not even a cougar will touch you.
Remember? Too much like work.

Sweety, you can read all you want but nothing other than experience will teach you how to 'read' her and her body. Like flying. You can read all you want but until you've handled a microburst, you don't know anything.

[keratin]

Originally Posted by EvilEvilKitten

The real reason is:

"And have you seen the selection criteria out there. I've seen the competition and I for one decided that my energy was most efficiently put into something more productive than being shot down constantly because I wasn't Biff the quarterback..."

Tired of being rejected by the girls who are after the quarterback. So choose other girls. Actually yes, part of the reason for going to college is sex and you're behind the power curve.

But what is really wrecking your chances is being bitter. Unless you change that, not even a cougar will touch you.
Remember? Too much like work.

I guess I don't see it as bitter...I just see it as an accepted part of life. I never made sex a priority, I rather expected it was something that would happen when I got around to it. As I came to realize that my chances of meeting someone were rather slim; I just sort of decided it wasn't worth the effort. Not to mention I lack that sort of radar that people have to pick out single people. I suspect that I'm also somewhat unattractive...and being with me is a disorienting experience for many...so like I said, having realized these things I rather decided my energy was best spent elsewhere.

Doesn't change the fact that I find the outright disparaging of virgins as basically useless naive fools....to be at the very least insulting. I may be inexperienced but I'm hardly naive, I have a use and I most certainly am not a fool.