why arent i enjoying it yet??

[ziggy]

ive been with my guy fer a yr n half...n we've had sex around 10 times..n i havent enjoyed it uptil now at all! i mean now its not painfull..but its not so comfortable either.we do ALOT of foreplay..but even when he comes down on me its not tht good..we have ried diff positions...i dont get it..whats the problem with me?? i totally enjoy makin out..but when it comes to real intercourse it doesnt feel good at all..its seems more like a chore.can somone please tell me wats wrong with me?

[kevin83]

Hey, firstly, don't put yourself down! There's nothing wrong with you! Everyone is just different and maybe either your boyfriend doesn't have much experience at these sorta things and so isn't makin it enjoyable for you. Maybe you also aren't ready for it, if your mind isn't in the right state.

There's nothing wrong with you. Don't worry.

Kev.

[?wiseman?]

kevin83, nicely said.

[Rawbob]

Well...10 times in a year in 1/2 is less than one time a month. So the issue really is more of whats going on in your head. It could be anything from guilt, family pressure, religious upbringing to not really WANTING to feel sexually intimate with her, to personal self esteem!

Can you be a bit more specific about your age, and the other issuse i raised in the paragraph above?

[archer]

Could just be how your boyfriend is doing things. are you/do u masturbate at all? it does help alot if you do and you know wat feels good for you, in that way u can tell your b/f how u like it.

Keep on experimenting....dont stop trying, go slow, relax...

It could also be your frame of mind just before sex, you describe it as a "chore" and that is very damaging to ur preconception of sex and you are already put off by the idea of your b/f inside of you. Try and think of sex not as a chore, but something a bit more deeper. It seems like all you are after during sex is an orgasm, if u keep on concerntrating on that and not on being with your partner and "making love" , you'll always feel let down if u dont have an orgasm.

[oberon]

I agree it is difficult to suggest anything without knowing more. *Is your difficulty with sex or with sex with your boyfriend? *Do you masturbate? *Can you reach orgasm that way?

If you can reach sexual gratification through masturbation, then try showing your boyfriend what stimulates you. *These aren't things we know instinctually, we have to learn and-OH JOY!- each person is different. *So if you know what makes you feel good, share it with your boyfriend.

However, if you don't masturbate or don't enjoy it when you do, then maybe you should examine your feelings about sex in general. *It could be one of those concerns that Rawbob mentioned. * If it is something like that, you are going to have to deal with your feelings. *Forget about what may have happened in the past, and allow yourself to enjoy the sexual experience.

Good Luck and keep us posted.

[LittleFury]

Could also be that because you aren't doing it that often, you might not have a chance to get used to him.
And really, there is nothing wrong with you. You just need a bit mroe time and experience. Just try different things, try yourself to see what you might enjoy. Also, you could always try taking control, that mgiht do the trick. Good luck

[ziggy]

im 19..n yes its totally not in my culture n religion to have pre marital sex...how ever i have my own opnions on tht.n im totally open minded when it comes to things like this..n no i have never masturbated..i tried once..but i didnt feel upto it..i never have..n i dont think i ever weill..i tried one time..n it didnt feel good..ur right its a psychological thing...bu i do feel n ave alwas felt tht i am very open ..sexually..anyway thanks fer all of urs advice...but yeah fer me its like.."whens the fun goin to start" that is during intercourse. i guess it is myh whole mental view of this.

[ziggy]

oh yeah..we both were 1st timers..we'vve only done it with eachother.n we had sex fer the 1st time like 5 months ago.but thrs no embarrassment or shyness between us when it comes to this.

[oberon]

It really sounds like you are together mentally about this. So just relax. LittleFury is right. Try different things. Look around this site and you'll see all kinds of things to try. You'll find what works for you. Good Luck and Have Fun.