Fingering 101

[RedKnightV13]

Ok, I'm 17, and I've only had one girlfriend to date. However, when we hooked up, I was the knowledgeable one. She'd had a few bf's before me, and our first kiss was awkward (my first ever), and so she thought she had more experience than me.

She didn't.

Or at least, she had more experience in one field, and absolutely none in anything sexual. The reason: I watch porn, she doesn't.

Just watching porn makes you better in bed. For the guy who started this thread; I'm truly astonished you don't know where the vagina is. Watch two people have sex, and you'll see where your dick goes; that's her vagina. Unless they go anal, but you should already know where the anus is; you have one after all.

The three holes aren't for fingering; they're for your penis. Traditional sex utilizes the vagina, the first hole. Oral sex is done with the mouth, the second hole. Anal sex is fucking a girl in the ass, the third hole. You only finger the vagina or anus; but watch out going for the ass, because it's an unpleasant experience for a while and a lot of lube and simultaneous stimulation of the clit/g-spot is advisable.

On the topic of virginity; it's not necessarily a physical/biological status. The hymen isn't a reliable source anymore, because physical activity tends to break it, and tampons are so commonplace now. You have to take her word, but in general women don't lie about that. They will to their parents, or possibly new lovers if they're uncomfortable with how their new lover might think of them, but frankly it's a non-issue anyways. Virginity is neither a positive or negative thing; sexuality should be explored, but if you're not ready for it then that's just you.

As far as technique is concerned, go with what everyone's been saying; take it slow, and gradually amp up the tempo until she orgasms. Generally, start with one finger and rub her clit with your thumb at the same time, and once she's nice and wet you can slowly slip in a second finger. Pay close attention to how she reacts; some girls can't take it, and if that's the case just back up and keep with one finger (suggested using your middle finger; it's most comfortable for you and give her the most stimulation). If your girl's open to it, a little anal pay is good too; just keep stimulation on her clit with your thumb, finger her with your index finger, and lightly play with her anus. Full penetration should be a focus in and of itself, with fingering her pussy or rubbing her clit being back up so she subconsciously connects anal penetration with pleasure. And, like I said before, use a lot of lube.

[Lovedove]

I recently told my bf that I.... Play wit myself, and he seemed to be okay with it... We are both virgins and he wants to finger me but I don't know what to do, like I don't think he knows what to do either. Some help would be greatly appreciated

[CLVR-HNDS_GUY]

have a look at the first page of this one, i say doc would of had something written about it

[dancingdoc2]

Originally Posted by CLVR-HNDS_GUY

have a look at the first page of this one, i say doc would of had something written about it

Some threads just take on a life of their own, one reason I have not spent much of any time with the discussion.

You are correct. For all the new members of our community who are reading this thread, please refer to the Index found at the top of the main screen. It contains helpful informative insightful, as well as how-to articles on everything being discussed.

Originally Posted by RedKnightV13

The three holes aren't for fingering; they're for your penis. Traditional sex utilizes the vagina, the first hole. Oral sex is done with the mouth, the second hole. Anal sex is fucking a girl in the ass, the third hole. You only finger the vagina or anus; but watch out going for the ass, because it's an unpleasant experience for a while and a lot of lube and simultaneous stimulation of the clit/g-spot is advisable.

Woe! Hold on there, laddie! This paragraph is all mixed up.

Your first statement is incorrect. The urethra (first of three openings) is NOT for the penis, except perhaps to caress from the exterior in passing.

In the way Mother Nature designed women, the vagina would be the second opening.

Oral stimulation can be and often is applied to the outside of the anus by many couples. The outside of the anus and just inside are richly endowed with sensitive nerve endings, so fingering them and/or using lips and tongue will work wonders for boosting a person's level of arousal.

The keys for success are to bathe first; second, to hold off stimulating the outside of the anus, just inside (or in the case of men--the prostate) until s/he is very very aroused. All these sensitive nerve endings do not really turn on and become reactive until a person is very highly aroused. Please read the article on this subject.

Oral stimulation is just another form of caress. Caresses can involve every square inch of our partner's body. Caresses come from our fingers, palms, wrists, arms, legs, feet, hair, lips, and tongue, etc. There is no one place one form is appropriate and others not. What about "fingering" the lips and mouth, or, hair?

I encourage everyone reading this thread to spend time also reading the various articles in the Index. Knowledge is empowering.

[Bushidokaizen]

Fingering is not that complicated. The female body is stimulated sexually when her clitoris is being rubbed. Its like rubbing the tip of a penis for a guy or something. Rubbing the lips and clitoris really stimulates them and sends them in a enlightenment state. Also don't do the same thing over and over.

start light with a simple rub, the work your way to a faster or more pressure technique. Don't go over board with it, but just keep it under control and to where she's greatly enjoying it.

From here though, it might turn into cunnilingus but not every time. There, you need to change it up or else it loses its effect. Change it up and when she's really enjoying it, step it up a notch. Learning more and more techniques will greatly increase your sexual abilities and experiences.

[Bushidokaizen]

Watching porn doesn't necessarily make you better in bed. Most porn is based on a fantasy or rough sex. Not every girl is into that style.

If you haven't kissed a girl before and this was your first one, what makes you knowledgeable. Yeah you've seen porn. So if you watched bruce lee movies, you'll be great at Kung fu? no. You need practice. just like anything else in life.

[WhateverHappens]

you really dont need to be scared or anything. if you just ask her it will be fine. i mean i talked my boyfriend through it and didnt use my hands to guide him. it sounds so much more complicated than it is. seriously. If you're worried about hurting her or how many fingers you should use. just ask her. she will appreciate it, virgin or not.

[joe197]

ok so here is the problem, i just recently started to finger my gf....and i am pretty sure i know more about her vagina then she does even though she is the first girl that i have ever fingered. So like when i am fingering her i ask her what feels best, and she just says "it all feels good". But i think she is just saying that cuz she doesnt know he body well enough to know what feels really good. I just want to know if there is anything that i can do to help her to communicate with me about what feels good.

I just dont want to do anything that will make her feel uncomfortable, or hurt her down there.

Thanks in advance.

[nikki_creampie]

starting the intercourse with a little amount of finger action in the clitoris is a number one rule in sex! then what makes it perfect if there are adult toys to add in the pleasure
______________________________
adult toys are fun

[dancingdoc2]

Well, Joe and Nikki, your comments show that both of you have come to the right place, that being to acquire more information. Both of you are headed in the right direction yet off the path and plodding along in the rough.

Originally Posted by Joe

i am pretty sure i know more about her vagina then she does even though she is the first girl that i have ever fingered. So like when i am fingering her i ask her what feels best, and she just says "it all feels good". But i think she is just saying that cuz she doesnt know he body well enough to know what feels really good.

For the purpose of clarification do you mean the birth canal or the entire Vulva that includes all her pieces-parts including the Vagina? Fingering applies to all of the above.

The problem as I see it with your analysis is that you got exactly the correct answer for your question; what happened is that you did not ask the right question. My guess is that you want to know what sensations will build toward an orgasm and this is the question that should have been asked. You need feedback from her as to what feels good, yes, yet you need to know what to do to build her level of excitement and arousal. This is a different and more specific question.

What do you mean by "what feels really good?" I'm sure any one of us can quantify what feels good on a scale of 1 to 10, so do not short change her ability to do so. This gets back to asking the correct question, above.

Now, in your defense, she may just not know what feelings excite her the most and build toward an orgasm. If she has yet to masturbate and enjoy orgasms on her own, then she cannot tell you what is required of her--or you!

Originally Posted by Nikki

starting the intercourse with a little amount of finger action in the clitoris is a number one rule in sex! then what makes it perfect if there are adult toys to add in the pleasure

"...in the clitoris?" Please clarify. On and around, yes; in--no.

If your definition of "sex" is the entire process of making out, arousing each other, perhaps enjoying an orgasm or two before intercourse, then your "number one rule" is incorrect and too short sighted. On the other hand if you equate "sex" with intercourse, then whether the rule is #1 or another number, I would agree as long as you acknowledge that whatever the number it is up to the couple.

Welcome both of you to the SI101 Board and its Forums. I hope you enjoy participating. Please begin by familiarizing yourselves with the FAQs, the Posting Guidelines section, and especially the Index, all found at the top of the main screen. The Index contains links to helpful informative insightful, as well as how-to articles that address the most common concerns and questions people have. If you click on the site's Home page, you will find even more information. Please read all if not most of the articles. Knowledge is empowering!