1st Time Pain & Bleeding 101

[bryrw06]

take her to the doctor - we can't guess what damage you've done!

[calibird]

im still not fully informed of some details. where is the hymen located? and if i have masterbated before does that mean i broke it? does masterbating make me not a virgin? im asking caz i plan on saving myself for sum1 and i want to be sure i am doing that.

[hussy]

Hey im kinda new to this so im sorry if this question has been answered before...i just need some reassurance. i didnt bleed when i had sex for the first time, but i bled the second time which was a week later. is this normal? ive used tampons and stuff before so i thought my hymen would have already been broken. im positive its not my period either.

[arbitrary]

Hi, don't know if this has been addressed before, but I didn't see anything, so here goes:

My wife was a virgin (vaginally, at least), and we've had sex about 10 times, but it doesn't seem to be getting much easier for her. Each time we have sex, i can tell she's in pain (when I stop, from concern over her, she tells me to ignore her, and keep going), and by the time she stops flailing around, and get into it, I ejaculate, without orgasm! When she uses her mouth or hands on me, it feels really good, and I totally climax, so I'm starting to want that instead of real sex. That upsets her tremendously, but it's just not much fun doing the real thing with her. How long is this going to last?

[someguy31]

i fingered my gf and it was the first time anyone has for her she bleed and still is a bit but she said it hurt but it felt good
any advice?

[20CC]

hi i'm a 20 yr old female, and about to have sex for the first time. I am a tampon user and physically active in the Army. Does that mean I most likely broke my hymen? How much bleeding is "normal" the first time? How much pain? I really dont want to bleed, and is it a good idea to use a toy to help stretch you out first and maybe pop your cherry?

Thanks

[sweetness69]

just try to relax!And enjoy

[Honey_Bear]

My girlfriend and I are waiting for marriage to have sex. I’m 23 and she’s 22 and still a virgin. There’s no problem with that other than the reason she said she was still a virgin is b/c she’s always been afraid to do it because of how much she believe it’s going to hurt!

She totally hates pap smears (I’m sure everys women doesn‘t enjoy), but she hates any type of penetration, even tampons!

She’s already seen the size of my penis, and believes it’s the biggest thing on the planet, and doesn’t understand how she’s ever gonna feel pleasure from it. I’m only 6-7” which, from what I’m reading is a nice size that most women prefer, but she‘s terrified!

She doesn’t know how it’s going to stretch and form to my size. She loves me so much, and when we’re making out, she does desire to have sex with me, but she’s still mindful of the size and the pain.

Being that I’m not a women and not having the authority to give comfort from advice (from experience on this in a woman’s perspective) to my girlfriend, can someone (in detail) please explain your own experience with you first and how you came to love sex (in a way that’s giving advice to another woman)?

I’ll copy and paste all answers to one document and send them to her email. I've already copied a pasted some advice from this thread, but she would need more detail. Thank you so much for any replies!!!

[sera300]

As far as not inserting a tampon b/c it does not feel good or having a pap, none of us like it. When these are being done it's unpleasant since we are not stimulated, and it's just plain annoying, many are "jumpy".

As far as deriving sexual pleasure, she needs to relax about it. If you fool around all feels good right? The same theory holds true with intercourse. Whoever thought a tongue could do such wonderful things such as kissing or oral? The first time does not "hurt" every woman, it has to do with knowing (or being educated) about what you & your partner are doing. During penetration, think of it this way; if a child can be birthed there is plenty of stretch room down there, so a penis is nothing compared.

As far as the first time, it was good (as it can be when you are 14 and clueless). But my b/f was very sweet, I adored him (loved him), and there was no pain. It felt nice, not earth shattering, I felt more as if ; okay, I've overcome a big fear. As you and your partner get going and understand what each of you need, how to give each other pleasure, you become more receptive to relaxing and enjoying the pleasure & experience. In time you find there are all sorts of pleasurable areas in the vagina and when there is a penis (doing the good stuff) it's mind blowing. There are so many areas of pleasure on our bodies and on/in the genitalia and that "one eyed monster" becomes your best friend!

Wondering if something that looks so large, so foreign, is just from a lack of knowledge. I would say get a book or two for her about the basics of sex. The "Joy of Making Love" is good (if your getting married buy her the Joy of Cooking too, so you can be a really happy man). Also, there is a thread here on g-spot stimulation, read through that. Many describe the pleasure associated with it. It sounds as if she has to dispel the myths and understand more about sexuality and her body, best accomplished through reading to understand. Look at books together on Amazon or Barnes and Noble, then order them--no embarrassment and a good selection!

[xXxBANGxXx]

My first time didnt hurt alot, and doesnt always happen. but one of the most improtant thing you should remember is to relax, because if you muscles aren't tense then he'll be able to enter you easier and wont have to force his way in. Also, buy extra lubricant, it helps out alot because you probably wont get wet enough and it will help ease some of the discomfort.