1st Time Pain & Bleeding 101

[demonbuttercup]

maybe b/c you still haven't completely torn or worn away the hymen.
so on some occasions you might tear it a little bit.
is it a lot? or just a tiny bit?
also, he might have had a rough fingernail or something and scratched you.

[Pandora]

rock on. my boyfriends going to like hearing this hopeful news cuz the last thing i want is to screw the sex up with pain. rawr.

[SliderNL]

Nerves can be the biggest factor the first time. It can cause her to tense up, which can make penetration very painfull. The nerves killed of my erection when I first tried it. The solution is easy, be relaxed at easy. It's never wise to immediately begin with a penetration (it doesn't matter how much LUBE you use). Fingering (try using more fingers to stretch her a little bit) and oral stimulation were for me the best ingredients to get my girl in the right and very horny mood). She told me she only felt a second of discomfort before feeling very very nice.

[jazzychords]

My boyfriend and I just had sex for the first time 2 days ago. We had been trying for monthes but he was having trouble staying hard and I was having trouble dealing with the pain. Anyways, I was on top and we just kept at it and it was extremely painful!!! I was crying so we stoped for a little while and tried again. It was still pretty painful and the same occured so we tried a third time a few minutes later. This time it was less painful though I was still sore from the previous times. But we stayed at it for about 2 minutes and then I asked to stop so we did.

So here's my question. There was no blood and I've been using tampons for years so I thought maybe my hyman was gone but I did still feel excruciating pain. So is it possible that with all that, my hyman still may be in there? And therefore I may feel the same amount of pain the 2nd time around? this is what my boyfriend thinks because he said it didn't go in as deep as it could have since he wasn't fully erect. Or is it possible that my hyman is gone but it hurt just the same and next time will be less painful?

Thanks in advance.

[foolishxemotions]

Ok, I have never had sex before. Lately, I have been talking to a friend of mine, who is experienced, about us having sex together. Things almost happened but I chickened out. I just recently told him that I have never done anything sexual with anyone but I was afraid to tell him before because I didn't want to freak him out..hence the reason I chickened out. It did scare him but we started talking again and the topic of us doing it is coming up again. My parents are on vacation for 3 weeks and he said that he would come over for a blow job. I'm wondering what would happen after. Does this usually lead into sex? And for someone who has never done anything with a guy, what advice can you give? I've never been fingered by a guy or used a tampon. Will things feel different due to those factors? Also, for those guys, if any, who have been the more experienced ones when their girlfriends were virgins, what was it like? How did you go about doing it?

If you guys could help me out, I would truely appreciate it. Thanks.

[demonbuttercup]

Originally Posted by [b

Quote[/b] (foolishxemotions @ Aug. 19 2004,18:08)]My parents are on vacation for 3 weeks and he said that he would come over for a blow job. I'm wondering what would happen after. Does this usually lead into sex?

well of course he would be on board for this one....lol. what guy wouldn't?
and yes b/c you haven't used tampons or been fingered it will be more painful more than likely.
i had used tampons and been fingered so my first time didn't really hurt.
maybe you should read this girls thread
or this one which discusses the idea "am i ready for sex?"
there are many things to think about and you say you chickened out which means you probably aren't ready.
i wouldn't just have sex to have it. maybe you should find a b/f....someone you love and care about to give your virginity too.

[foolishxemotions]

I told him that I wanted my first time to be with him. I felt it would be better with him than anybody else only because he is the only guy that I've ever truely cared about. I've known him since I was 13 and my feelings for him have continued to grow ever since. I am now 20 and he is 27. He is a close friend of the family so I feel safe with him. I've expressed this to him so he knows how I feel. He's known that I've cared a whole lot about him from the get go.

When I say that I chickened out, it was only because I was caught off guard. It was like 5am, I had just gotten home from a 4 hour drive with him and when he asked if I wanted him to come inside, the only thing that came out of my mouth was "maybe another time"..even though I wanted him to come inside. I wasn't ready then..but I'm ready now. I feel like a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders now that he knows that I want him to be my first. It freaked him out at first because its not everyday someone tells you "Yeah, I want you to be the first person I have ever had sex with..". And my parents have no idea that we talk like this so its kinda weird to have this hidden thing. If ANYONE ever found out, I don't know what I would do or what would happen.

I am ready for this..I am ready for it to be with him. I'm just a little nervous as to what is supposed to happen and how things are going to feel. Agh..so confusing..lol.

[foolishxemotions]

Do you think its wrong that I feel this way? I mean, I can't see myself wanting to do this with any other guy.

Would a blow job lead to sex even if that was all he came over for?

[demonbuttercup]

Originally Posted by [b

Quote[/b] (foolishxemotions @ Aug. 22 2004,18:47)]Would a blow job lead to sex even if that was all he came over for?

this is totally up to you.
don't let him pressure you to go any further than you want to.
i would first start out w/ oral and manual sex before jumping into the real thing.
maybe discuss things first and set boundaries if that would make you more comfortable.

i don't think its wrong for you to feel that way. as long as you care about him and feel that he cares for you, even if just as a friend.
just as long as you feel you can totally trust him and be comfortable w/ him.

[foolishxemotions]

I have already told him that I wanted my first time to be with him. It scared him a bit when I told him this because he has never been put in the position where someone went out and told him that they wanted him to be their first. He is afraid of what may happen. And he is afraid of what may happen if anyone ever found out. (He is good friends with my dad because they play in a band together and he is like a son to him.) I think that is why he wants to take things slow. I'm nervous about all of this because this is something new to our friendship. I guess this would kind of make us friends with benefits..