Hi everyone. I'm 23 years old and never had sex until this past summer (planned to wait til marriage, but yeah...) and now I'm with my second partner.
I'm pretty new to sex since I've only had it a handful of times, and my boyfriend is slightly more experienced than I am. I'm getting to where it feels pretty good with my legs over his shoulders or from behind, but we've tried girl-on-top twice and I simply cannot figure it out.
The first time was a total disaster so I tried to watch videos and read advice (and get advice from my best friend) on how to do it, and I was super-confident for the second time. Well... it didn't work either! lol So now I'm totally turned off from it, only because I don't know how and it's slightly embarrassing to be so inexperienced (though my boyfriend only has a little more experience than me).
Well I have no problem getting on, but once I'm on... I can't figure out what to do. It's hard to just sit straight up and it's awkward-feeling if I'm not. And if I do get straight up, I can't really move at all from there. I can't figure out how to go up and down or back and forth or whatever. It just doesn't work and it's like there's no way to practice it except in the moment, and I don't wanna mess up in the moment!
We're both larger people, I'm 160 and he's 250. Is that part of the problem? Or is it just something I can learn?
Sun, 11/28/2010 - 16:21
#1
New to sex, girl-on-top
Do NOT sit upright. Lean forward supporting yourself with your hands on his chest or the mattress. Then guide him in and rock back and forth rather than trying to move up and down. Find a position that gets you the pressure you want on the proper places and rock, mixing it up with some grinding on his pubic bone.
Thank you for your help!
He's not critical at all but I'm critical of myself.
It's just frustrating because I can't move, it seems like. If I'm leaning on him I can move it in and our and if I'm sitting up then I can't move at all because I'm scared of putting my weight on him.
lol It's making me cry typing this. I just care a lot about him and we have an amazing relationship in every aspect except I feel like I'm bad at sex. He's wonderful and assures me I'm not, but my confidence is shaken. No problem with passion or desire, just the mechanics.
And also, I don't really wanna be dominant... Any more tips on how to work on these issues?!
So glad I found this forum!
Dear #s,
Welcome to the SI101 Board and its Forums. I hope you will enjoy participating. Please browse the Index found at the top of the main screen. It contains links to helpful informative insightful, as well as how-to articles that discuss the most common questions and concerns people ask about. In addition, if you click on the site's Home Page you will find even more information, including a complete section having illustrated animated sexual positions divided by category.
Several of us recommend the Woman Superior/Cowgirl position for the first time, whether this be the first time ever, or, the first time with this particular partner. The reason is because this places the woman in control. She knows where P and V are and can deftly bring the two together, saving the man some angst and possible embarrassment. In addition, she can position his penis beside the hymen and vaginal wall, govern the amount of pressure used, depth of penetration, and, rate of stroking.
It is not necessary to sit upright. Try kneeling with your torso at a forward angle over his. You can also lean on your hands or forearms.
The stroking action can be up and down or along the angle of his penis, which ever works better. You can also sit on him and rock back and forth against his pubic mound.
Another position to try is the Missionary and with a pillow under your bottom in order to increase the angle of your vagina, tilting it upward. The Missionary is considered ideal because it lets the semen go deeper and stay in longer without dripping out.
As for experience or the lack thereof, please read this article:
HELP! S/He is more EXPERIENCED! To which I say:
> I simply cannot figure it out.
> The first time was a total disaster
Making love is not what we do to each other; rather, it is what we do with and for each other in partnership. I urge the two of you to talk to each other, provide feedback on how each of you is responding to your partner's caresses, and, not be overly critical. Explore and work together.
I hope this is of help. Got questions?
-doc