Assuming you can masturbate when you're alone, my guess is it's nerves. Try to relax and just go with it. Allow yourself to get lost in it.

> Hello. I'm 25 years old and never have had sex before.

> It was my first sex experiment yesterday. Firstly my penis coudn't be upright then she made a try by sucking it . I felt good but that hurt me somewhat while she was going up to the top. That was not complete success because my penis lay down again.

Your story is not unusual. I understand the consternation and frustration. As mentioned, above, the failure can most likely be attributed to nerves, specifically anxiety.

There are some unknowns that we should know in order to be more helpful:
* Was this a one-night stand, FWB, and if so, how involved have you been with this person?

The reason I ask is because a person's success at lovemaking has much to do with his emotional attachment with the person. This leads to the next question:
* How emotionally attached are you to her?

* When in the overall scheme of things did you feel the pain? Near the beginning of oral, well into it, just before you would have climaxed?

* Was the pain internal to the nerves in the Glans, or, was it caused externally such as having the skin scraped by her teeth? If the former, then most likely it was a response to being very highly aroused. If this is the pain I'm thinking about, it really is not a hurtful reaction, rather, the release of certain chemicals by the brain when in a high state of arousal that mimic pain. If the latter, then the fix is simple--have her wrap her lips over her teeth, moisten them, and then let your penis slip in and out between them.

We can experience two paths to Nirvana. The first, as good as it is is not always a very intense level. This is what we experience and enjoy when masturbating. We are not turned on and aroused as much as when we are in the company of a partner and there are pheromones flying and an emotional connection.

The second path takes guys to a much higher high. Visualize the two paths as the letter "Y". One leg is the one used when we masturbate, the other when someone is giving us a hand job and/or in conjunction with oral. It has a much longer leg, thus permits a much more intense experience.

The problem between the two forms of stimulation is that oral does not mimic the sensations we derive by hand and this is pretty much a necessity if we are guaranteed a climax. So, what is a couple to do? Combine a hand job with oral in what I refer to as the "dynamic Duo", and give her verbal or non-verbal feedback on how you are responding and for what you need now/next.

It may be that when she has brought sensations and feelings that are as strong as you can stand that you will not orgasm. Again, the reason is because these sensations are not what you have conditioned yourself over the years to trigger an orgasm. The solution is to pause and let your sense of urgency subside and coast back down to a level below what is required to get you to climax, switch paths, and proceed up the other leg. Here's the trick:

In order to do this reliably, she must learn to mimic your technique of rhythm, pressure, and, tempo. To do this, guide her hand over several sessions until she learns what to do. In addition, provide frequent feedback cues on how you are responding and for what you need. The reason his is necessary is because when we masturbate we benefit from our internal feedback and make constant midcourse course corrections. This is missing when we turn the reins over to our partner, so we have substitute some words or other utterances (verbal) that convey specific meanings, or, some body language cues (non-verbal) like a squeeze of the hand, or a rapid hand motion, or other actions that also convey specific meanings, neither of which disrupt the ongoing proceedings.

Lastly, if all this is just a case of Performance Anxiety, the fix is to simply stop worrying. And, yes, this can be harder than it sounds, yet give this a try. The more comfortable you are with each other and the better you know each other, the faster this will be a thing of the past.

I hope this provides some insight into what happened. If I missed the mark, please provide answers to the questions above and one or more of us will try to zero in on this better.

-doc