Hi,
I've been with my boyfriend for around 7 months, we're both 16 and virgins. I started talking about having sex, because we've pretty much done everything up to it, but he always very much insists that he doesn't want to pressure me into it and that he absolutely doesn't care if we do it or not, really sweet, which makes me want to do it even more lol. Anyway, I'm not questionning his love for me, I want him to be my first. That said, we we're talking about birth control. I've been on the pill for 6 months but I don't think I should simply rely on that. So okay, condom then? However, I've always been repulsed by the idea of having sex the first time with a piece of rubber? lol... Okay I know it's not a big deal, but I find it would screw up the intimacy with a piece of rubber in between us... I'm not sure what else to use, spermicide sounds weird... I dunno... I'll figure that out.
But since we're leaning towards not using a condom, I figured we should go get and STD test or something, just to make sure... because... I dunno, we've both had other experiences with other people... not sex but pretty close... Of course the logical outcome would be that we both don't have anything. But for some reason he's scared of going to a clinic, he thinks it isn't necessary. We've talked about it and I've tried to convince him, but it just doesn't seem to work. I know it's not necessary to get and STD test, but it would make all the difference in the world like I would be less stressed, etc. And since we're not going to use a condom which is kind of going against everything I've heard for the past 4 years, I just think it's what we should do.
Is it an unreasonnable thing to ask? Am I getting a little obsessive or is this within reason? Better be safe than sorry? I don't know what to do...
I don't know, I'm just wondering if we both don't really know who are parents are... is there any chance that either of us wouldn't know yet if we contracted HIV during pregnancy? I'm just asking I have no idea. And I'm thinking what if either of us contracted an std during a hj or petting... is it likely? (Oh btw, I started on the pill because of acne)
I think maybe you both are pushing things a bit. For instance, I would put a 16yo on the pill only if she were having very difficult periods or was already sexually active. You are still developing and I am conservative on messing with hormones.
If you are so certain that neither of you has had sex, why the big concern for STDs? I respect your considering that but can understand why any 16 yo would be hesitant to get tested.
From a strictly contraceptive standpoint, using a vaginal spermicide would give roughly the same backup protection as would a condom. If you reject both those, there is nothing else as backup. You cannot add more hormones )patch or ring) and no doctor will recommend an iud and pill to a virgin 16 yo.
I would recommend a trip to Planned Parenthood or a women's health clinic or somewhere you can talk this out with knowledgeable person. You are not yet ready.