I have recently broken up with my boyfriend and I am with someone i've had my eye on for a while..things have moved quite quickly and we've already got intimate..and now we're thinking about sex.
I would like to have sex with him, but i'm worried for a couple of reasons..
1. He's been with lots of girls..he went for an sti check after his last girlfriend but then had a one night stand with a girl (it was protected sex and she gave him head but he didn't give her oral sex)
I am worried I could still get something from him and I have abstained from giving him oral sex thus far.
If we have sex with condoms is there still a risk i could get something??!!?
2. He has a large penis...his girth is much bigger than my previous boyfriend's..his is about 3 fingers together in width or so...he says he has had problems in the past..one girl was too tight and they couldn't get it in and his last girlfriend it took a while to get her used to the width...is it going to be an awkward and painful experience for me??
i'm just about to go back to work so i won't seehim for a while so it might not be a good idea???
is there any way i could prepare for the new width..? try stretching it by inserting 3 fingers when i mastubate/ buy a dildo??
will i end up getting a loose vagina if i regularly have sex with him and it;ll never return back to normal???
sorry lots of worries. would appreciate replies a lot!!!
thanks!
uncreativename
The questions about disease are serious. He sounds as though he has been a bit promiscuous and you are right to look out for yourself. I would recommend a "date" at the local STD clinic; you both getchecked and then there are no worries for either one. This, of course does nothing for the future. If he continues one night stands the risk remains.
Condoms do a pretty good job (see response to your other question today) of protecting against the STDs that result from what comes out of his penis. They do little for protection against those diseases that may present lesions on parts not covered by the condom.
As for size, I can only repeat that 95% of all vaginas will accommodate 95% of all penis'. Possibly more. We each likely have our preferences, but we "can" whether or not we enjoy it or want a repeat performance. No one knows whether or not you will have problems. Yes, you can stretch yourself a bit - you are learning to relax muscles more than stretching - but that takes a while. In preparation for my first time many years ago, I did do some work. Whether or not it worked, I shall never know because it was a non-event and many women have that experience. We dread it but want it and then conclude that it was no big deal, at least physically.
It will not likely change your vagina. Only childbirth and significant weight gain have any real effects on us. Even a big penis is no match for a baby's head.
thanks a lot for the speedy reply. i think it'd probably put my mind at ease if he got tested but it might be worth a day trip with both of us so i know he will get checked etc...i really don't want to take any risks...although it is comforting to know that generally condoms stop the majority of infections.
so you recommend holding off sex until the check's been done on his behalf (and mine)?
thanks!!
With the history you describe, I would not even want to look at his penis until I saw test results!
> i really don't want to take any risks.
Where are you in his recent dating history? Can be be certain he will not stray on you when he see's an alluring figure in a skirt? Unless and until you know considerably more about this fella and his behavior and his morality, I would not be in too much of a hurry to have sex. Get to know him and vice versa, even if all you want is a FWB relationship, this will be much better the deeper the feelings.
Rules for me? Both are tested with full tests & results placed on a MD prescription pad with a very recent date; then proper BC & STD precautions are taken regardless. As pointed out by Doc. What happens if he decides to pick up with another & takes risks without you knowing? Sorry, too often I have had to explain how people got "X disease" since "they are the only one"...if I had a dollar for each time I'd be rich & the need for the Department of Health [and all partner notification] would not exist. Old saying; if you play you pay...if he fools around? Condoms are not a guarantee against catching a STD. Major concern is regionally here; HSV II & HPV. The first, HSVII, is so easily transmitted. There are some which engage in such risky behavior they are best passed over for your own sake.
Monogamous relationships are fine but do keep in mind people do "stray" and use poor judgement. The greatest risk I was placed at was through my former spouse; fortunately only his g/f and he wound up with the matter, I was fortunate to not get a thing [yes the BOH notified me--a phone call from a colleague followed by the formal letter]. First stop for me was the Gyn for every possible test & then followed up repeatedly.
[QUOTE=dancingdoc2;205073]> i really don't want to take any risks.
Where are you in his recent dating history? Can be be certain he will not stray on you when he see's an alluring figure in a skirt? Unless and until you know considerably more about this fella and his behavior and his morality, I would not be in too much of a hurry to have sex. Get to know him and vice versa, even if all you want is a FWB relationship, this will be much better the deeper the feelings.[/QUOTE]
i am pretty sure he is serious about me..he's had long term relationships and he says he's never met anyone as good as me..i know him pretty well now and i don't think he'll stray on me..i do trust him not to do things behind my back. you are right though, maybe this needs more time...i really want him to get tested now..
and sera and brandye you raise important points - thank you.
.... and I suspect that sera has been told she is the best by as many jerks as I have been.
[quote=Brandye;205189].... and I suspect that sera has been told she is the best by as many jerks as I have been.[/quote]I have heard nearly every story in the book...LOL!
Always use condoms and if in doubt use two! You can "double wrap".
In my experience, which has been vast, condoms work very well indeed! I think I'm up to 82 total lifetime lovers, I may have missed one or two, and not one STD/STI. No condom = no sex. What can I say? I like men! I am tested every October so yes, I do know my health status. I do not expect you to be as active. I simply wanted to give you some additional perspective on that issue.
He's been with other girls. GOOD! Then he might know what he's doing and that's good for you. A more experienced lover is just what an inexperienced person needs when just starting out. There's only so much you can learn from books, et al. This is esp good if he is larger.
That being said - moving quickly is almost always an ERROR esp when you are not experienced in dealing with relationships. Having sex with someone is a relationship regardless of the duration of the association because sex is never meaningless. Not if you're doing it correctly.
My advice - get tested, be adamant about always using condoms no matter you're doing (oral included), and go slowly when building a relationship.
Brandye is quite right - vagina size is determined by bone and muscle - being "tight" or "loose" is more of a "subjective" thing i. e. not real.
[QUOTE=EvilEvilKitten;205265]Always use condoms and if in doubt use two! You can "double wrap".
[/QUOTE]
I was always under the impression to NEVER use two as they can rub against each other and break?
I am under the same impression as curious... unless we are referring to a female and male condom. Brandye, can you clarify for us?
Brown-eyed Girl got it!