Look around a little bit and you find lots of insight. One-quarter of all women never experience orgasm. They can learn but may need help from professional. First stop is the gyn who can make certain everything is where it should be. Then, perhaps, a sex therapist.

The best training for a woman is masturbation. Finding out what we are moving towards helps us get there with someone else.

See especially Female sexual response in Chick Chat. Almost anything with orgasm in the title. Read a bit around the forums.

[quote]The best training for a woman is masturbation. Finding out what we are moving towards helps us get there with someone else.[/quote]

What she said is what I say over and over and over in many of my posts.

A girl/woman needs to spend "me time" alone and embark on a journey of self discovery. Once she learns to masterbate and is able to climax regularly and consistently then she has the knowledge of what works and what doesn't. She also has had time to develop a specific set of movements and pressures I refer to as the "fine art" that she has come to rely upon to bring her to the brink and then beyond.

It is this information that she must share with and teach her partner. If she feels comfortable doing so, she should masturbate for her partner, first. Whether or not she does, the next step is extremely important. She should take his fingers/hand in hers and guide his movements over several sessions until he learns to mimic her specific movements.

It is important to understand that we do not give orgasms away to our partner. We are each responsible for our orgasms. All that any of us can do is to help our partner achieve their orgasm. The way to best accomplish this is to use the same movements, rhythms, and pressures s/he uses. Anything else only gives us a 50/50 chance of doing it right. With something so important who wants this as a batting average?

All this holds true in reverse for the woman with her man.

> I wanted to know if there is anything i could do to... help her orgasm. What kind of techniques..

This is your game plan. The two of you now have your "marching orders".

Got questions?

Boys learn to masturbate in the days following puberty. Girls on the other hand often do not have the drive, perhaps due to a naturally low testosterone level (I don't know for certain), although for whatever the reason, many begin masturbating later in life if at all. The term for this is being "preorgasmic" and in order to change this, she must learn to masturbate and enjoy orgasm by her own doing. When she can master this, the transistion is made and she can then give her partner instructions on what to do. Not only this, she has established the pathways along the autonomoic nervous system between the genitals and pleasure center of the brain so that she can have orgasms. Until this happens she will probably no be able to climax.

So, I do not see any reason why you cannot give her this information in a loving caring way, although when will have to be your call.

Sorry for digging this old post up, but I'd really like to know how are you doing now? Are you still together? Has she had an orgasm?

The reason I'm asking is, that I have a similar problem. My friend can't cum. She's not my g/f, but we've had sex a few times. She is the only girl so far I can't seem to make cum. She likes it VERY hard. She likes it when I'm pushing her g-spot with my fingers or bite on her clit or rub it hard. She asks me to do it harder and harder until my muscles on my arms hurt two days after it. Never met anyone like her.

About the masturbation. My girlfriend doesn't like masturbating, but I can make her cum almost everytime and even squirt most of the time. There has only been a few exceptions, when she has been too tired. The last posts seem to be telling girl has to masturbate in order to know what feels good. It's much more fun to explore each other. Keep on communicating. Learn to read her bodylanguage.

i'm new here, i'm having a similar issue....

my g/f of 6 yrs, and sexually initimate for about the last 1.5-2 yrs, and i are having trouble w/ her achiving orgasm. we don't "do it" often due to our long distance status, but whenever we do see one other (approx. once every 3 months) we would go at it every chance we get. recently (the last couple times we've been together), we've been alot more communicative and experimental in various positions and techniques.

i've always been able to provide arousal thru clitoral stimulation, but i think she actually stops me before she achieves orgasm, in her words "it drives me crazy." but other than that, we hadnt been able to do much else for her. i mean she would tell me what feels good and what doesnt, a certain position and movement does it for her, but never anything consistent or w/ any "great" result. but she def. tells me what she doesn't like.

we've tried many things that we've read up on, nothing doing. i'm sure the "lack of success" is partially my responsibility, but alot has to do with her (and she agrees). now i dont know how much this has to do w/ anything, but shes very "insensitive" in the sense that shes very NOT ticklish. she admits that even when im licking/sucking on her nipples, she feels nothing physically. also, she does not masturbate....at least thats what she tells me, but seriously, i dont think shes lying. just last night, we've finally came to a point where we had her finger herself to see if she can find the spot, but to no avail. i'm gonna suggest to her to start exploring herself on her own time (esp. since we're apart that often), and maybe even pick her up a toy or something (tho she may object to that) to help the both of us.

but at this point, we're really having very little luck as far as her orgasms, she enjoys the sex, it feels good to her, but its like im the only one getting anything out of it. its not a point of frustration YET....but i sure hope it gets better in the future....

any advices beside the obvious?

I had sex with a few guys before I found one that I orgasmed with. I don't necessarily agree, at least for ME, with the statements that say "You don't give her an orgasm" or something like that. That first guy TOTALLY gave me that orgasm. I did nothing except have it and love it. From then on, figuring out how to have them again was the fun!!

Also, a detachable showerhead was a fabulous thing to have as a teenager. Heck! I still have one and use it regularly!!!