Most evidence (scientific) has always pointed to polygamy being the natural course for human beings. But one important hole remains; why is jealousy a natural emotion in humans? It is the only true obstacle towards polygamy. There are polyamorous animals that don't exhibit (or rarely) jealousy. Also, if we (were meant to) have a village-type relationship and method of child rearing, why do orgasms emit chemicals that strengthen attachment?

intresting i would like ta read the book or maybe find a ecopy and download and read it

what is polygamy anyway?

cincy, you are sitting at a computer with an internet connection. There are dozens of dictionary programs in dozens of languages available. Look it up.

Excuse me but the proper term is polyamory.

polygamy = many wives/females per male
polyandry = many husbands/males per female
polyamory = many lovers - genders not specified

The point of the book is that humans are more like bonobos than like chimps and the reason why humans find matrimony difficult is that we evolved for a different lifestyle - to wit: polyamory.

BTW: Jealousy and possessiveness are NOT natural but are taught. They are a product of lifestyle and culture - nothing else.

wow thanks kity but only one more ? what are bonobos ?

a sub-species of chimps.

And DON'T call me kity, call me EEK

And a very interesting sub species! :)
Discussed previously on: http://www.sexinfo101.com/forum/other-sex-topics/24827-why-womens-orgasm... page 3

[quote]Originally Posted by Newtolove
I think there is a species of monkey that mates for pleasure and females do mate in exchange of favours from the males (basically prostituting themselves) but i don't know if they have orgasms but from the above sounds very likely[/quote]

[QUOTE=RedRoses;253775]If anyone is still interested; the species of monkey I think you are referring to, is called Bonobo. Allthough this sexual social behaviour is mostly observed in captivity. Fur further details: [url=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bonobo]Bonobo - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Also, there are chimpanzees who have been spotted in captivity actually 'making love' while facing each other. A rare site in the animal kingdom by my knowledge. And only seen between chimpansees who share a close bond. There's a beautiful episode of 'monkey bussiness' on Animal planet in which you could actually see this happening, which is kinda sweet :) (although you could say even a chimpanzee deserves some intimate privacy ;)) I really couldn't tell which episode (number, title, etc) it actually was, sorry...
[/QUOTE]

And bonobos the ONLY creatures who have as much sex as humans do.

Some of it is repetitive and already been stated, but it did make me think a bit more

http://www.dailyemerald.com/opinion/wendel-monogamy-is-not-a-natural-tra...

My opinion:

I think as we became ever more social beings it became easier to keep partners as oposed to the animal kingdom of one dominant male. In the animal world there is one dominant male because he has to win his place and prove that he is the better "sample" of his clan and the one to give the best to the descendants, when we evolved as social beings which allowed us to rely more on each other and advance in our methods of survival the need for a strong linearige was less important as we could rely on mecanised means for easier survival, then it was possible for men and women to make their choices and make them for life should they choose and bring the children up together. lets face it if we lived like the animal kingdom every mother would technically be a single mother, in my view not a good upbringing for the children or a verty stable life

NewtoLove - you need to read Sex At Dawn then and learn the vale of Uncertain Paternity.

I've downloaded an ebook sample of the first 89 pages of Sex At Dawn. While I find it interesting so far, I'm just left with a couple questions: When it comes to sexuality, what exactly is "natural"? And who ultimately decides what is or isn't natural?

[QUOTE=g-dubz;266106]I've downloaded an ebook sample of the first 89 pages of Sex At Dawn. While I find it interesting so far, I'm just left with a couple questions: When it comes to sexuality, what exactly is "natural"? And who ultimately decides what is or isn't natural?[/QUOTE]

what's natural some might say is what you want for yourself. Of course some people just like to push the limits of the possible just because they want to be different but on the whole if it aint harming no one there's no harm in it !

Try reading the rest of it but scientifically speaking what's 'natural' is what makes evolutionary sense. What makes evolutionary sense may not be immediately apparent which is why scientists ask questions and do experiments and wrestle with eachother over methodolgies, findings and interpretations all of the time - science being a crucible and a testing ground where nothing's written in stone but aalways subject to change based upon empirical evidence.

well from the evolutionary point of view the normal thing is one dominant male in a group, the dominant one being the one that has the best characteristics for survival. As i said before we no longer need to be so concerned about evolution as we have other ways of coping with our weaknesses. It is my beleif though that eventually the human race will die out as we keep defective genes going.

[QUOTE=EvilEvilKitten;266130]Try reading the rest of it but scientifically speaking what's 'natural' is what makes evolutionary sense. What makes evolutionary sense may not be immediately apparent which is why scientists ask questions and do experiments and wrestle with eachother over methodolgies, findings and interpretations all of the time - science being a crucible and a testing ground where nothing's written in stone but aalways subject to change based upon empirical evidence.[/QUOTE]

That's what I was trying to say. If what makes evolutionary sense isn't apparent and is subject to change at any given time, then how do we know that anything we do is 'natural' or not? More importantly, who gets the last word?

In science no one gets the last word because THERE ISN'T ONE. There's always another question to be answered.

So stop asking what's natural because as far as anyone can tell everything is natural.

Excuse me Newtolove but think priimates - where if you're 'hung' you're not monogamous and she's not monandrous.
The only truly monogamous primates have pinkie sized penises and microscopic testes. Capice?

did I ever say primates were monogamous ?

Some are monogamous but when you go on stating the harem thing - you missed it entirely.
While we are mammals, we are primates and therefore the harem pattern does not apply to us no matter how much some people like to think.
Humans evolved to be polyamorous within a small group of known people.

Do not confuse "natural" with "normal." Natural is a biological concept meaning it occurs in nature, or, that is where evolution has led. It is or it is not and that does not change. Normal is a sociological concept that refers to what "most" do. This does change over time and across cultures.

Looking for natural in human sexual behaviour leads to study of pre-literate tribes with as little contact with the outside world as possible. Generally, there is not a dominant male as found in a pride of lions or, even, a family of chimpanzees. More common is a cluster of people who live within their circle, the children are raised communally and sex is rather liberal, especially in those tribes where the linkage between sex and children is not clearly understood.

Margaret Mead's early work (partly discredited), describes what would become labelled "free love" among modern humans.

HURRAY for free love!!!!

Yes you are right
good post

Update: I've just finished reading the book. While I found the book to be quite interesting, I was let down at the end since the authors didn't offer much real world advice to the problem which would have made the book a lot more useful IMO

That's because every person's situation differs and that's not their feild of expertise.

But an open marriage seems indicated.

[QUOTE=EvilEvilKitten;266831]That's because every person's situation differs and that's not their feild of expertise.

But an open marriage seems indicated.[/QUOTE]

I get that but I was still expecting something more especially after the wealth of information that was given..... But whatever. It is what it is I guess *shrugs

BTW, Are open marriages really the only option? I'm not against them or anything, I'm just wondering if there are options for those who don't desire them.

I figured as much :cool:

All the other options are always available but if you want to stay as close to "multimale-multifemale mating patterns' then single or open marriage are your choices.