i think the problem is on the both the left and right wings of American politics. the liberals want to censor everything on TV, but at the same time want to teach sex ed in kindergarten. not kidding-i read an article recently about kindergarteners learning about anilingus, and the joys of it. they also actively encourage random, meaningless sex at all times, resulting in the high teen pregnancy rate. and no, mass distribution of free condoms is not the answer. the liberal policy of awful sex education and failing to teach any type of abstinence or even discretion is a major problem.
on the other hand, the right wingers (where i put myself) refuse to even touch the subject. One place this is especially prevalent is in the church. my girlfriend and I are both Christians, and are both shocked by the prudish attitudes many preachers take towards sex, if they take one at all. a lot of them are too shy and scared to even talk about it. in my opinion, God made us sexual beings for a reason. if these preachers believe in only having sex in marriage, good for them, i think it's a noble ideal. i wish they would have the guts to say it. on the rare occasion a right wing politician has the guts to even address the subject, they cast it in a negative light.
personally, like i said, i am a conservative and a Christian (so is my girlfriend). we embrace the view the sex is a beautiful and wonderful union between a man and a woman. we're not married (informally engaged), but believe sex is limited to a relationship where both are in true love, not specifically marriage. the trick is telling true love from lust, which is why we didn't have sex until about six months in, about four months after we first said "i love you" to each other

I agree that we can't find a happy medium... on one side, people say sex is TABOO...yet on the other side.... sex is visible in everything we do/see/hear.. when it comes to ad campaigns, music, videos, etc.

I fall in the middle I guess. I have no problem discussing it really or having it.. but I don't flaunt it or make it apparent either.

On a side note... 7inches..wouldn't you be considered more of a liberal christian?? maybe?
I would probably consider myself a liberal liberal christian LOL
I don't actively go to church (did a lot when I was younger) but I believe in the basics of God, Jesus, Heaven, Hell.... but I don't so much take everything as literal as it's written.

I mean you can think of yourself how ever you want.. and I don't know you personally so I can't say either way... and it's in no way to offend.. but was just curious :)

[QUOTE=7inches4u;186496]i think the problem is on the both the left and right wings of American politics. the liberals want to censor everything on TV, but at the same time want to teach sex ed in kindergarten. not kidding-i read an article recently about kindergarteners learning about anilingus, and the joys of it. [/QUOTE]Uhh, SOURCE please? I know that there have been moves to introduce a basic form of sex ed into kindergarten in California, but I'd love to know where you're coming up with this analingus thing. Also, how is it LIBERALS are the ones that want to "censor" everything on TV? Examples? Was the whole Moral Majority thing liberal based?

As far as Wet Suit's original question, I don't think you have to be a history major to say that a majority of sexual repression comes from religion . . . . not just Christianity but many faiths. Some of it has to do with what the religion prescribes as inherently "right and wrong" from a divine source, but also much of it originated from a practical need to enforce monogamy (or at least limited sex partners) as a form of controlling the spread of diseases back in early days.

These "phobias hangups and assorted ridiculous ideas" about sex are probably likely due to the fact that everyone interprets sex differently and acts upon it differently. There is such a variety of "sexual" acts nowadays. As far as why these ideas are prominent in North American societies...well, history/geography was my worst subject in school but if I am not mistaken, the U.S is probably one of the most liberal countries in the world and there are so many societies where sex is considered sacred, or only to be performed by a man and a woman, or only to be performed with the intention of reproducing, etc.

As far as western society goes, the Church has tried to control or ban sex for hundreds of years. After the Protestant Reformation, many of the different Protestant churches carried on the tradition. This has spread to our modern culture, as we're descended from said groups.

The public 'fear' about sex is derived from the fact that we live in a predominantly Christian nation. Christianity, even Protestantism (which comes from Catholicism, sharing most of the beliefs just taking a more relaxed approach), states that it is a sin to use the sexual organs for any purpose other than their prime function, reproduction, hence the demonization of masturbation, pre-marital sex, and protected sex (There was a recent movement in my area to ban the sale of condoms, not kidding). This belief has been past down through generations and generations of Americans, though it seems that this one is getting better about the topic through the Internet and message boards such as these.

My question to those people is, "If God didn't want us greedy, lusty humans to have sex because it feels good, then why did he make it feel good?"

Many religions, particularly the Abrahamic religions, share this ideology. Others, such as forms of paganism, put forth sex as the union between the two polar opposites of the universe, male and female aspects, making it a holy act. (I fit in this group).

Another possibility is that people, like myself, are raised with the teachings of, "Never talk about down there or let anyone touch you or see you." My parents did this to insure that I would tell them if a molester did something. Even now, with my girlfriend (one who was raised with the Christian ideology above, but didn't have it beaten into her head by regular church visits), I am shy about the topic, much less talking about it in public. She, however, is perfectly comfortable talking about it with me, can't explain why...

Our sex education class taught us that kissing was bad as it leads to intercourse! They tried to nail it into our heads that kissing was a sin... Luckily, most of the kids either didn't give a damn, were too smart to see what the hell they were trying to do, or did it in spite of the class.

After the travesty of our sex ed classes, I found this website to learn for real, what was going on about sex. This kind of sex education needs to change in order to fully remove this kind of inhibition of talking about it, not to mention that churches need to quit nailing it into people's heads that sex is bad. If the schools and churches spent the same amount of time insuring that everyone knew how to have 'safe sex,' there would be a lot less abortions and unwanted children, solving two major arguing points in American society.

I, for one, have never been shown how to use a condom... meaning that I'll probably mess it up the first few times until I get it right.

Anyway, rant over. =)

Because most societies are governed by rules set up by sexual pessimists who believe that sex is degrading and takes away from one's spiritual life rather than sexual opitmists who believe that sex is good for you, binds people together, and enhances life.

If God didn't want people to have/enjoy sex - explain the clitoris.

if we did it the churches was we would all be monks and nuns and there would be no more human race, as far as I am concerned there is no institution that degrades mankind and uses sex as a tool for controlling than the church as much as the church condemns it it uses it to control people with sex we are always poor sinners needing forgiveness for what ? enjoying the life given to us ?

"I don't really understand the phobias, hang ups and assorted ridiculous ideas about sex that are so prominent in North American society."

They are illogical.

I too believe that the role religious institutions played was a big part in putting sex in a negative light. After all, most of us are introduced to our respective religions at a very young age so it becomes a part of the main foundation of our beliefs.

But I also believe that the aversion to talking about intercourse, masturbation and other sex-related topics is because of the nature of the subject. These types of things are extremely personal to a person and maybe to admit that you: masturbate, think intimate thoughts, have sex, etc. would be admitting a weakness.

The thing is, none of these things have to do with weakness, they are a source of strength. It's because it is so personal that we have a twisted way of thinking about it. You wouldn't want to be the first one to admit that you do any of those things. You wouldn't want to be viewed as different from everyone else, even though virtually everyone does the same stuff as you (and they won't admit it either).

I will take masturbation as an example. I started to masturbate when I was about 11 or so. I kept on doing it throughout the years (and still do of course), but in the beginning I thought that my masturbating was wrong. I tried to stop, but without success :). I didn't feel that it was wrong because of religion but because no one ever spoke about it. My logic was that if it was right people would openly speak about it, the only reason you wouldn't is if it was something that was bad or embarrassing (like admitting you've peed/crapped your pants).

Indeed the only times I hear about masturbation are during some jokes in sitcoms or stand-up comedy and even then the word "masturbation" isn't used, its only implied.

As a result of our aversion to admit to doing "it", we perpetuate the idea that sexual stuff should be seen negatively and woe onto anyone who says otherwise. And we believe that those who are open about it have questionable morals. As if we too didn't have sexual organs and the biological compulsion to use them.

One thing that I love about this site is that I feel like I am not the only one who is a sexual being, that masturbating isn't something to be embarrassed about.

That's my input.

think about this god demanded a man commit adultery and screw his sister in law, the man said to himself I don't want my brother to bring up MY children and when he came he pulled out and let his semen spill on the ground this displeased god so he killed the man - guess what the guys name was onan - ring a bell ? onanism/masturbation this is where all the fuss over no masturbation came from because the guy wasted his seed, no the reason god killed him was because he did not impregnate his sister in law, of course this story was twisted to hell by the church,

want another one ?:

the one righteous family that god had escape gommora before destroying it, the wife looked back and was turned to salt because god said run and don't look back else you will become salt, anyhow this left father and 2 daughters,
now the daughters decided that they must be the only living people left on the face of the earth and that for mankind to continue they must have sex with their father and bear a child each, so first one one night the second night the other, they got their father drunk and had sex with him and both had a child by their own father, but guess what god did not slay the three of them for the incest committed and the children born became the ancestors of two great tribes, now does that make sense ?

damn that damn church they have no right and politics should stay far away from religion !

The rules are all about social control specifically the control of women and their sexuality and the offspring they bear. Most of the religious texts were written and for centruies interpreted by men. They all emphasize the role of man ruling women with the children being the man's. Control the women's sexuality and you can retain your "honor". I will refrain from stating my opinion on this topic because I am sure you can all infer what it is.

[quote=EvilEvilKitten;188307]The rules are all about social control specifically the control of women and their sexuality and the offspring they bear. Most of the religious texts were written and for centruies interpreted by men. They all emphasize the role of man ruling women with the children being the man's. Control the women's sexuality and you can retain your "honor". I will refrain from stating my opinion on this topic because I am sure you can all infer what it is.[/quote]

At least they took "OBEY" out of the marriage ceremony, LOL!

I suppose it has a lot to do with religion as others have said. The majority religion, Christianity, typically says that sex is wrong in most cases. I disagree with this point. I personally see sex as a wonderful and sacred act that occurs between two people (regardless of gender) who love each other.

well it is pointless that the church condem it just rwad the old testament god repeated tell him to go and screw her it's just so comon place it's redicolous the position of the church infact there is as far as i know not one word in the bible condmning sex or sex before marriage, the church should be closed down they have no right to exist because they are preaching lies and just controlling people if only lazy people would just get that damn book out and read it they would unerstand

The Bible is an incomplete and prejudiced reproduction of stories passed down for centuries before they were penned. I put as much faith into it as I do into any other rumor or folk legend.

well actually it is not the bible that is at fault have you ever read it I admit I have not read it all but a good bit of it, yes there are some prejudaced rules in it but they were somewhat primitive in those days but sadly a lot of what the church preaches is misinterpretations to suit their needs they have no right to criticise the jehova's for twisting things because they do too, it is no wonder that at one time you were serverly punished for possesing a bible I think death might have been the sentence (but can't swear to that) what were they trying to keep secret ? why try to hide the "fountain of wisdom" not quite the wanted wisdom if read with an open mind ? nowadays people don't bother to read the bible for themselves because they can't be bothered although that is the what their so called faith is based on if they did they would begin to wonder

Hey Simon,
Why not join us here in the colony instead of returning to the Motherland?

> damn that damn church they have no right and politics should stay far away from religion !

Our forefathers (and mothers) moved here for just that reason and look what it got us all these years later: prudish sexual attitudes and repressed sexual behavior thanks to the Puritan and Victorian approaches to life.

Prudish attitudes towards sex most assuredly stems from the religious fundamentals. Since pagan worship practices were demonized by the church many years ago. Some of the pagan worship practices included various sexual activities with the priest's/priestess'. Oddly enough, back in those days even the jews and christians were allowed many wives and concubines as long as they could afford them. It was ok to practice polygamy...As long as you were male...(go figure). Now, this constitutes adultry with most people. Add to that the old mindset that the naked body is something to shame. In my personal opinion this was mostly started by the Catholic church during the days were catholics were able to buy their sins with money. What better way to expand the vatican bank than to make the most basic biological need a sin?

[QUOTE=pozzolane;188545] What better way to expand the vatican bank than to make the most basic biological need a sin?[/QUOTE]

precisely

doc thanks for the offer but I'll go home please at least they seem to have wokem up in the meantime (I hope)

actually engaged jews were allowed to have sex a child born before marriage was no problem at all

all the people who cant get any diss on it simple as that :p

The way I see it is because sex is such a sacred thing that should only be shared within marriage. This is my honest opinion and what I truly believe.
I think people want to experience it without marriage and that is not ideal in my view. Sadly though that translates to when you marry. My husband was told as a teen that girls will bite his penis off and to be careful. Thankfully for me he remained a virgin and we lost our virginity after marriage. But until recntly he said sex was disgusting. I pretty much agreed. It seems ppl think sex is dirty when it really isn't in the right circumstances.
Hubby and I are now around 30a nd been married over 8 years. We now view sex differently. It is something we do not wish to experience with anyone else. And to us sex is disgusting when it is not me and him. :D
Anyway that is my view.
(I am Aussie btw and Christian)

Oh come on - it is NOT the sex that is sacred, it is the emotional bond between the partners that is sacred. Get a grip! Bite his penis off? EGAD! And what are you teaching your children? That men will hurt her and women will bite your sons' penises off? Thus perpetuating the idea that something natural, fun, and life-enhancing is dirty and disgusting? Except when married, whereupon, It's magic! Plang!, sex becomes good?

[QUOTE=wet_suit_one;186471]is there so much negative publicity about sex? . . .

Anyone have any insights?

The Wet One[/QUOTE]

Hoo boy, do I! Here goes:

"Negative publicity" is being generated with your government tax dollars because conservative religious political extermists are cramming their moral agenda down our throats. (Not that many of them practice what they preach!) How many public officials could be elected on the platform of responsible condom use in marriage and outside marriage?

Consider the ubiquitous presence of sex on TV today, the billions of dollars Americans spend on porn videos, magazines, and online, sex workers (hookers, escorts) and exotic dancers (strippers), the way we talk about sex in daily conversations, etc. and it becomes clear that the U.S. is utterly obsessed with sex. (I can't remember the last time I watched a TV crime drama or movie without a seminude pole dancer gyrating in the background.)

But our national obsession with sex is not the same thing as being a sex-positive society, because this obsession is infused with guilt and shame. We are titillated and aroused by the onslaught of commercial sexual imagery, yet we also believe that enjoying this kind of sex is dirty, forbidden, sleazy, and beneath us as morally upright individuals. Ours is a sex-negative obsession, not a sex-affirming obsession.

Americans are neurotic as hell about sex. We are socialized to avoid sex outside of monogamous relationships because of the (sometimes exaggerated, often undetailed) risks and dangers to our physical health, social status, and mortal soul. Then we are simultaneously socialized to vigorously pursue the experience of sexual pleasure as often as possible.

The way Americans cope with their ambivalence about sexual peasure and danger is so contradictory that we have the highest unwanted pregnancy and STI rate in the Western world (Ireland is the closest second, I believe). The rates of unwanted pregnancy and STIs in European countries a fraction of our own.

Let me give an example. 1) Good girls don't carry condoms because good girls don't think about sex or plan to have sex. 2) She can still be a good girl if she gets carried away by passionate love for her boyfriend. Result? Possible unwanted pregnancy and STIs because no condom may be available. And even if one were available, using a condom would be "dirty" and "sluttish"; it supposedly would cheapen the loving emotional connection she is seeking through sexual intimacy with her beloved, and besides, sex wasn't her idea in the first place.

Islam, and Christianity are two world religions that separate the body from the soul. (Eastern religions and pre-Christian religions tend to be more holistic, wherein the body and spirit are perceive as one entity.) The body (aging, death, elimination, disease, and sex) is seen as at odds with the spirit (salvation, purity, discipline, godliness).

These religions and their cultures create a false dichotomy (split into two opposite parts) between the spirit and the body, and the two genders (men and women) are associated with the two parts. Females are strongly linked with the body, and men with the spirit. Thus pious females in Islamic and Christian cultures are required to dress modestly (burkas, high button blouses, long skirts). because they are responsible for making sure that men will not be sexually tempted by their appearance. Men who rape women who dress provocatively cannot be blamed for their actions if aroused by a woman's indecent dress ("What did she expect, dressed like that?" "It's impossible to rape a virtuous woman.").

Since sex is seen as a temptation of the flesh or a distraction from higher spiritual strivings, sex is debased and devalued. Since as human beings we naturally seek sexual pleasure, religious individuals in Christian and Islamic cultures often suffer from neurotic guilt in any sexual act that does not take place in a heterosexual marriage for the purpose of reproduction or the strengthening of the sacred marital bond.
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For those of you with advanced reading levels, I highly recommend the following books to gain more insight into the American sexual culture and psyche if you have not already read them. The first book is the easiest to read (most accessible):

Intimate Matters: A History of Sexuality in America by John D'Emilio,Estelle B. Freedman

The History of Sexuality by Michel Foucault

Sexing the Body: Gender Politics and the Construction of Sexuality by Anne Fausto-Sterling

"sex is a sacred thing that should only be shared in marriage" - good grief! And what if a person never marries? Does that mean they should remain a virgin for their whole life, and never experience the pleasure of sex? Nobody has the right to demand that of another person.

Sex is a natural function that we all need. Its everybody's birthright to experience and enjoy it. Single people have as much right to enjoy sex as married people.

[quote=cyclefreak;191758]"sex is a sacred thing that should only be shared in marriage" - good grief! And what if a person never marries? Does that mean they should remain a virgin for their whole life, and never experience the pleasure of sex? Nobody has the right to demand that of another person.

Sex is a natural function that we all need. Its everybody's birthright to experience and enjoy it. Single people have as much right to enjoy sex as married people.[/quote]

This attitude of saving sex for marriage is what drives people to marry, finding they later are incompatible. Or they rush into a marriage to meet their physical needs; resulting in poor choices in a spouse.

If I waited to be married? I'd be a born again virgin or something equally as strange. Accepting ones sexuality & expressing it is normal human behavior.

I found a really great essay on just this subject. It's quite a read but I really feel so much truth in it.
http://www.riftrants.com/misogynyinside.html