[QUOTE=SexyStacey]ok i've posted something 2 times n knowone has replied and i need some answer's and things! Im a virgin but my Boyfriend isnt and he wants to and i think he thinks im ready i am and all but i am really scared of getting pregnat! Also do u bleed alot and does it hurt all my friends tell me or u should do it! it doesnt gurt but for the 3 minutes but im nervouse me n my boyfriend have been together for 7months now and im nervous i really want to but i need my questions answered! also how could i make it where its worth his while and mine!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! I am 16!! and he is 17! [COLOR="Magenta">HE WONTS TO DO IT THIS TUESDAY AND WHENEVER IM WITH HIM I WAN TO ALSO BUT THEN MY NERVOUS SIDE TAKES AFFECT!! WAT DO I DO[/COLOR][/QUOTE]

hey girl that is one thing that i would wait on till i got married. trust me it will be worth it. it is so much out of this world then. my wife and I had plenty of opertuity to do it but we waited and i am soooo glad that we waited it was well worth it and if he really loves you he will not preasure you to do if if you don't want to. if you have any questions you can ask me on yahoo my ID is guitar_player26170

You have posted the exact sqame thing so many times. If you aren't ready don't do it, whether or not your boyfriend thinks you should be ready. There may or may not be benefits to waiting until you are married. I personally am very glad that I didn't. But do wait until you know for a fact you are ready. And ask yourself if you and your boyfriend don't last forever, are you going to regret having given him your virginity.

[QUOTE=SexyStacey]ok i've posted something 2 times n knowone has replied and i need some answer's and things! Im a virgin but my Boyfriend isnt and he wants to and i think he thinks im ready i am and all but i am really scared of getting pregnat! Also do u bleed alot and does it hurt all my friends tell me or u should do it! it doesnt gurt but for the 3 minutes but im nervouse me n my boyfriend have been together for 7months now and im nervous i really want to but i need my questions answered! also how could i make it where its worth his while and mine!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! I am 16!! and he is 17! [COLOR="Magenta">HE WONTS TO DO IT THIS TUESDAY AND WHENEVER IM WITH HIM I WAN TO ALSO BUT THEN MY NERVOUS SIDE TAKES AFFECT!! WAT DO I DO[/COLOR][/QUOTE]
are you on the pill ?? do you have condoms and spermicide? are you ready for the consequences if ANY of the above fail ??....yah it all sounds scary, but not half as scary as having to take care of a baby at 17 yrs old...

Wanting to do something is not a reason to do it.

You might tell your boyfriend that.

What are you really asking... how not to be nervous? You might want to listen to your state of mind. One way not to be nervous is to be ready. You're not.

Given that you are not, if you go through with it, you'll be horrible at it so it is not going to be worthwhile for either of you.

1. There is a strong likelihood you will get pregnant because it's probably safe to assume you're unprepared and unknowledgeable about birth control.

2. It is very likely it will hurt... particularly given your nervousness.

3. You may very well bleed. If you look around the site you'll find plenty of "first time" information.

4. If your boyfriend thinks you are ready he must be fairly ignorant. And he's given you until Tuesday to deliver? Hmmmm...

You know, one reason you haven't gotten more replies may be that most of us can't think of much to tell you that you don't already know. Listen to yourself.

Tell him you need more time, that's what you do. The fact that you only want to do this when you are with him suggests he's pushing this. Don't give in. It's your body, your mind, and your heart.

I just read through some of the other threads... and now feel even stronger that I agree with you = you need NOT to do this.

For one thing, you can't "get ready" in a few minutes by posting the same questions over and over and hoping somebody will come to your aid. You might take this experience and consider what would happen if you were posting "I'm pregnant and don't know what to do... somebody please help!!!!!???????" or "I had sex with my boyfriend and now he's dumped me.... what do I do... somebody please help???!!!!"

Doesn't matter if you are fourteen or forty. If you can't tell the truth and if you aren't ready to assume FULL responsibility for your words and actions, you aren't ready to have sex. Can you see the big flashing neon light????!!

And while we're now being truthful... just how old is your boyfriend? If he's 17...

The replies that you have received offer sage advice. Here is more to consider.

> > And while we're now being truthful... just how old is your boyfriend? If he's 17...

...and not a virgin his primary interest is most likely in getting his rocks off and not so much whether you enjoy yourself or not. During this stage of life and maturity, sex for boys is usually all about "him" and you are just the means to an end.

More often than not, a boy will tell a girl or a girlfriend just about anything to try and convince her to-
a. make out
b. undress and explore
c. mutually masturbate
d. foreplay (to include oral sex)
e. intercourse (if the luck of the Irish is on his side, the wind is favorable, and the gods are with him) if he can somehow convince the girl he loves her.

The two of you may very well love each other; however, at 16 and 17 I'm here to tell you that it is extremely rare to actually be "in love". Why? Because "love" has different states of being, beginning with infatuation, moving on to "puppy love" {admiration), and eventually evolving with growth and maturity into mature love.

Mature love comes with additional growth and life experience. While it can happen in weeks, it almost always is a process that evolves over many months to a year or more, certainly not in the timeframe most teens remain together or within the few weeks since a new relationship has begun.

> > And ask yourself if you and your boyfriend don't last forever, are you going to regret having given him your virginity.

In all likelihood both of you will have other relationships over the next few years. The purpose of dating is for sampling some of what humanity has to offer and to learn more about other people within a framework that is closer than just being friends or acquaintences. The more personalities, quirks, characters, morals, goals, and values you are exposed to over the next ten years, the better able you will be to choose Mr. Right when the time finally comes.

So, we probably know what is driving this young man to pressure you into having sex and to loose your virginity, what are your reasons?

a. it is a sign of being all grown up?
b. it is something that will make you a "woman"
c. it is a curiosity
d. it is something that you just as soon get out of the way sooner than later
e. it is a way to keep him
f. it is a way you can make him happy (see e.)

None of these are reason enough to engage in intercourse at 16 or 17 or 18 or any age unless and until your levels of maturity and experience have fully developed--and, you have found someone you consider Mr. Right or at the very minimum "a possible keeper". Your outlook and perspective of life, now, is entirely different than it will be in five years. Why? In addition to what I've mentioned above, is the fact that your brain will not be fully developed until then and the part that is last on the list of body parts to fully form is that part of the frontal cortex that gives you (good) judgement and the ability to see around corners and to assess the consequences of your actions.

Mother Nature has made it possible for us to reproduce and to continue the species at a relatively early age. In prehistoric times right on up to the start of the Industrial Revolution, this was a good thing because people often did not live to be very old and starting large families while only a teenager was the norm so that there were plenty of hands to tend the farms and ranches or to help support the family in other ways. Not so nowadays, yet it happens all too frequently and mostly to unwed mothers with few if any support structures in place.

If you or any other girl reading this is intent upon circumventing common sense and having intercourse, now, then you need to have a plan and to plan ahead.

1. what will you do if you become pregnant
2. you really need to already be on the pill or to be using some other form of high reliability birth control method
3. you cannot rely solely upon a condom for protection

First, will you forgo the plan you have for your immediate future in order to raise the child? What will be the father's roll? Will he stick by and actually help in the raising of the child? What financial support can he provide? Will you give the infant up for adoption so it can be raised by an intact two parent financially stable and secure home?

Second, the ability and the liklihood of becoming pregnant during the teen years is the greatest it will ever be. Why? Mainly two reasons: hormones and carelessness.

Third, if you do not want to become an unwed mother and to perhaps have the plans for your life changed, you need to look out for number one and be proactive and be using a birth control method of high reliability. Condoms fail, either because of carelessness or because of defect. The pill and other types of female contraceptives fail due to carelessness and inattention. Double protection vastly reduces the chance for an unwanted unplanned pregnancy.

> Also do u bleed alot and does it hurt all my friends tell me or u should do it! it doesnt gurt but for the 3 minutes

These questions and concerns have been addressed many times on the Board. Just do some searches. Take a look at the Chick Chat section concerning whether or not you are ready for sex.

You are not ready for intercourse until you know much more about your body, relationships, birth control, and have "what if" plans in place.

Finally, (at least for this post) is this: If you really want the most physical pleaure out of making out, then stick to hand jobs, oral sex, or what I refer to as the "dynamic duo" in which the two are combined. Orgasms from these forms of stimulation are far more intense. If so, then why the interest in intercourse?

Because intercourse raises the ante' several orders of magnitude by transcending the physical and going to the pleasure of the souls. The vagina is the gateway to a woman's soul; the penis is the essence of man. When these two parts join, the psyches meld and for a moment in time we become one with the other.

> > hey girl that is one thing that i would wait on till i got married. trust me it will be worth it. it is so much out of this world then.

When Part II of the marriage ceremony is first (ever) intercourse at the start of the honeymoon, then something truly magic happens. This melding of the psyches seem not to happen as deeply after having casual sex and it may or may not be quite the same for any subsequent marriages later in life. If you believe in the institution of marriage, believe in its sanctity, then you owe it to yourself and your mate to wait so that the two of you can be fully committed, plugged-in and as one.

In the meantime, fool around all you want but limit your excursions to foreplay. The pleasures for the time being will be much more intense for him than what will be derived from intercourse. Do not be a conquest or a notch on his belt. Make sure when you do have intercourse it is for all the right reasons and that you have matured sufficiently to appreciate all that it has to offer--and, that you are ready and prepared.

Intercourse holds a different meaning for a woman than a man. Until the relationship develops beyond casual dating and infatuation most guys simply want simple pleasure. Women want an emotional connection that very often the guy is unable or unwilling to provide early on. It's sorta like the story of the cow and the milk. He thinks why should I buy the cow when I can get the milk for free; she thinks he should make the purchase and commit to having a lifetime supply of milk. Until the two of you are on the same page, consider this:

In order for you to derive the most pleasure from making out and foreplay, learn to masturbate if you have not already done so. Few sexual positions permit a woman to reach an orgasm so fingering is generally the answer. If this is the answer, then you do not "need" intercourse to achieve your physical pleasure. If or when you can climax, then show him the technique that is specific and unique to you. Guide his hand several times until he learns to mimic your movements, rhythms, and pressures. The same holds true for him with you. It is important to know that each of us is responsible for our own orgasms. We do not give them away. All any of us can do is to help each other acheive our own; so, if it is possible for you to have orgasms, then show him the way.

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