is he puting his penis in the right place?! (is there a wrong place?)

uhmm....

have you tried different positions..? doggy instead of missionary...froggy instead of doggy..?

have you tried you on top to get it in?

ever masturbated?

also, dont worry about differences. everyone is different, so dont feel embarrassed or wrong or anything.

if its sincerely difficult and impossible...then consult a doctor?

[QUOTE=brunette_nz]Hey,

Lubrication is not the issue as there is always plenty of foreplay and i get really really wet.... However whenever we try to insert the penis the pain is so unbareable that it just wont get in!..... I really need some advice on this as i am now starting to get really anxious!!!
PLEASE please help me!![/QUOTE]

This is unfortunate. It might be your relative "sizes" vis a vis one another. It might be your particular pain threshold. If you really desire this person, perhaps some of the suggestions described under "loosening" may be of assistance.

Revirginated is right, you're going to find more information & ideas in the "losing" topics.

Lubrication still may be needed. Heck, I need lube just to get my bf's two fingers in. That's another idea, try getting used to a couple fingers and stretching it out a bit more. It may not perminately stretch it, but it's a way of getting used to it.

My girl friend complained that it took her half a dozen tries before she was able to allow her husband to go further because it hurt too much. Try other positions, and go slow. It's never pleasant the first time, or even the first few times.

Go to google and put in "vaginismus." This is an involuntary contraction of the vaginal sphincter muscles that can make accepting a penis impossible for some women. Many women experience a low level of this in the beginning of their sexual activities. Shades, above, is likely describing such an early-on low-level vaginismus. Ignore the other posts above.

We had a discussion of this some months ago on this board and one of the members posted a news item about a 29 yo couple who had been married for some years without consummating the marriage. Overcoming this problem starts with a trip to the gyn. Tell her exactly what you are experiencing and get a complete exam. Every gyn in the world has encountered this. You may then be referred to sex therapist. I recommend you get all the help you can. This is entirely "curable" but not on your own, each instance of inability makes it more likely that it will happen the next time - a form of performance anxiety.

Read up on what you find and you will understand what your body is doing without your permission! Oh, and do not fall for the fake cures for sale that you may find. See your gyn

Hey there i cant offer any advise about your problem but i just wanted to ask you if you were from New Zealand?

Cause i am and u have nz in your name :P

I feel bad that I didn't pick up on this several days ago. This reply smites of insensitivity and shows a blatant disregard for how she must feel about the importance of this matter. I am offended by your tone! :( :rolleyes:

-Doc

[QUOTE=champloo]is he puting his penis in the right place?! (is there a wrong place?)

uhmm....

have you tried different positions..? doggy instead of missionary...froggy instead of doggy..?

have you tried you on top to get it in?

ever masturbated?

also, dont worry about differences. everyone is different, so dont feel embarrassed or wrong or anything.

if its sincerely difficult and impossible...then consult a doctor?[/QUOTE]

[QUOTE=Brandye]...one of the members posted a news item about a 29 yo couple who had been married for some years without consummating the marriage. ....[/QUOTE]

That dude deserves a big frickin' trophy for sticking that one out.

I know a girl who has the same problem. She saw a gynocologist, who confirmed that everything was anatomically correct and she wasnt just too tight - you would have to be so unbelievabely small down there for it not to go in when you're completely relaxed, because vaginas stretch a lot, and women force some pretty huge stuff up there!
The girl I know has been told that it is a psychological thing. She has no control over it, but for some reason just before it happens she tenses up down there. Muscles do have the ability to keep a penis out.
Its probably more common in women who do not mastrubate, do not use tampons etc. Some women just dont like to fiddle around down there,
ibut if you've never really explored yourself much then you might not wanna let a guy explore.
It doesnt mean you dont want sex, and dont feel comfortable with it, cos you could want it so bad and feel ready and all of that, maybe you have explored yourself, but when it coes to somone else something tells ure vagina to clamp itself shut! lol

Its not the first I've heard of it, so its normal, and maybe you could think about why or even see a psychologist if you want to

hey - its like people who can't swallow pills! you know, some people try and try and they just cant do it - same thing.

Strange
your situation is really strange..
I think you didnot find right sex partner.
Firstly your partner must prepare you for sex I mean presex.. for example oral sex is wonderful... he and you suck and lick yours genitals.
Sex becomes a game, you start to fly over the clouds.
If still you have problem, please write me.
[email]ha501440@mail.ru[/email]

No, ham, it is not particularly strange. Perhaps 20% of all women have some symptoms and overcome them on their own; 3% give up and lead celibate lives; 4-5% need psychological help to overcome the problem. It is very, very real and not at all strange to the women affected. Reread my post and emmi's post description of a friend's problem.

You now rank along with Champ for the dumbest response to this issue. If you never heard of a situation, keep quiet.

[QUOTE=Brandye]No, ham, it is not particularly strange. Perhaps 20% of all women have some symptoms and overcome them on their own; 3% give up and lead celibate lives; 4-5% need psychological help to overcome the problem. It is very, very real and not at all strange to the women affected. Reread my post and emmi's post description of a friend's problem.

You now rank along with Champ for the dumbest response to this issue. If you never heard of a situation, keep quiet.[/QUOTE]

Hey, at least Ham left his contact info so he can demonstrate on her.

What a guy!

i remember with my first intimate relationship being really tense and anxiety ridden just because it was completely new and he had more experience. we went super super slow and spent a couple weeks working on stretching me out a bit and calming me down with just his hands. (we never got any farther due to long distance after summer was over) But maybe you need to get into a relationship where you can spend the time relaxing and stretching out as it is much more pleasureable for someone else to finger you.