My wife says that she can only get off with clitoral stimulation ( which is fine i have no problem playing around with my hands and mouth to get her off) but she tells me that the right spot is never in the same place and that sometimes it hurts or is too sensitive to touch. need help getting her in the mood and excited couse when i can get her to let go and get excited there is no problem it is just getting there. have tried toys and always use lube dont now what else to try. any help would be appreciated.
Mon, 08/23/2010 - 17:15
#1
need help turning wife on
This tpoic has been thoroughly covered many many times.
But once more into the breach - to quote Shakespeare...
1. women are capable of multiple orgasms but until her brain is wired up for it, trained, she will experience additional stimulation as pain instead of pleasure. The way to get there is to go through the pain to the pleasure at the other side.
2. also there are other spots that can be stimulated by a skilfull partner to induce orgasms or at least help her there see the article The Four Hotspots. Further training may be required by practicing is fun too.
3. Forget the toys etc. All you need is both of you. Read The Program and do that, taking turns 'leading'. Often, all a woman needs is for the man to back off and let her initiate the action.
Anyone else need this question answered again?
i appreciate the help but 1 the sensitivity comes before an orgasm not after 2 she doesnt want me to touch or use my mouth anywhere else and 3 i have asked her to take control and tell me what she wants or to use me anyway she sees fit. none of it has worked
I have suggested this on several posts but, try this position for her. If you can get her to stimulate her clitorious herself in this position it would be better.
[url=http://www.kama3d.org/kamasutra-Art103-4-en.html]Kamasutra .to : The positions XIV - The Bevel
or this one where she has more control. She can control the level of clitorial stimulation against your leg (or with her fingers) and vary the angle.
[url=http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/positions/thigh-master-sex-position... Master Sex Position - Cosmopolitan
Since she can only orgasm with clitorial stimulation, combine that with sex.
And what evilkitty says! Go slow and start with a great sensual massage.
Well, how was she raised? What are her policies regarding sex? Do you know?
She seems ot be very up front about what she doesn't like but says nothing about what she does like and this generally means ineffective communication between you two on this topic. I know you don't want to get her upset but, honestly, you're going to have to get some answers from her so you two can work on this.
TALK
thank you luvyhubby i will take a look at those links
eek we talk alot and it always seems to come down to it doesnt feel good at first and her self confidence that is why i came here was to find out if anybody else had this problem and if there was anything they could recomend from expreince. i appreciate your help i just really want to make it go back to the way it was when we first meet
Her self-confidence is low? And yet, she used to be more 'fun' earlier on your relationship?
so what changed in your relationship?
You know, this is not the first time this problem (husband attempting to 'get it back' with his wife) has been asked and answered.
There's a series of rather heavy duty articles on the subject in the Married and Long-Term section of this forum. Have you read them?
There are 3 podcasts accessible via [url=http://www.wickedwomangroup.us]wicked woman group about keeping your sex life conflagrating.
I agree w/ Evil Evil Kitten
[QUOTE=yellowlimozene;258410]i appreciate the help but 1 the sensitivity comes before an orgasm not after 2 she doesnt want me to touch or use my mouth anywhere else and 3 i have asked her to take control and tell me what she wants or to use me anyway she sees fit. none of it has worked[/QUOTE]
The clitoris is the equivalent of a penis in miniature. The tip=glans; the shaft is buried, yet no less sensitive and reactive to rubbing or massaging. Now, what are the differences other than size? First, consider the tip to have as many or more nerve endings as the glans, although, instead of widely spaced about the larger organ, they are bunched together on an organ the size of a pencil eraser! That is why the sensitivity; second, this hyper sensitivity manifests itself as pain and does come before the orgasm, whereas with men, the pain comes after climaxing and having been aroused to a much higher level than what is normally attainable when home alone.
Another "fix" for this discomfort beforehand is to stimulate the clitoris indirectly. Because it is much more reactive than the glans, it is often not necessary to touch it directly. So, when she tells you that the area is much too painful to touch, do so by folding the labia over the clitoris and stimulating it thru the extra layer. Second, try involving the shaft by massaging it. Just because it is buried is no reason not to involve it.
Lastly, making love is not what we do to each other; rather, what we do with and for each other in partnership. Explore and work together. Encourage her to give you feedback on how she is responding and for what she needs now/next. (Please do the same for her when it is your turn.)
Go to the Index and click on the links to the articles EEK recommends. Read them together or separately, then discuss the information and add it to what you already know.
Part of such problems is that people develop bad habits. You often have to re-think what used to work or the usual methods to keep up-to-date with where your lover is right now.
This applies to both genders because what your lover enjoys is a moving target.
[QUOTE=luvyhubby;258807]I have suggested this on several posts but, try this position for her. If you can get her to stimulate her clitorious herself in this position it would be better.
[url=http://www.kama3d.org/kamasutra-Art103-4-en.html]Kamasutra .to : The positions XIV - The Bevel
or this one where she has more control. She can control the level of clitorial stimulation against your leg (or with her fingers) and vary the angle.
[url=http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/positions/thigh-master-sex-position... Master Sex Position - Cosmopolitan
Since she can only orgasm with clitorial stimulation, combine that with sex.
And what evilkitty says! Go slow and start with a great sensual massage.[/QUOTE]
Such a very amazing link!
Thanks you for the post.