first off, id like to wish you luck with your hubby to be.

secondly, id like to say that it could hurt a little. since your fingers cant be as long as a penis could be, you couldnt have actually experienced such lengths into your vagina.

although, you can please your man with more than just sexual intercourse ( the humping and thrusting, all that). oral sex is supposed to give a man pleasure, as well as hand jobs. you can give him both by using your tongue, and your hands. he can stimulate you by using his hands and tongue also, fingering you and giving you oral.

i cant really give tips, im just saying how you can pleasure your guy.

i dont think you can really get help on making out, i havent been able to, and ive only been able to make out with my girlfriend once....monday in fact. the best way to learn is to have hands on experiences (learning by actually making out). since your guy is a virgin, you guys will learn the ropes together, so you shouldnt have to be worried about that. and of course, talking to him and telling him that your not sure how to make out may be helpfull, if he knows he can direct you.

that worked for me and my girlfriend. i told her i had no clue what i was doing, and she pretty much said the same thing. we learned by teaching each other.

i expect a more professional answer will come soon from the other members of the forums. what im telling you is just info i have picked up here in the forums from looking around.

A very few women experience real pain; most a twinge and many, nothing. My first time was a non-event. Being tense causes more pain than the removal of the hymen which is probably gone anyway - tampons, etc.

Relax, relax, relax. And do not have excessive expectations the first time.

> i dont think you can really get help on making out, i havent been able to

Oh, yea...I have written volumes on the matter on this and other forums in the past. Whatall d' y'all wanna know? I'll be happy to write another "volume" of tips because the matter of and the "how to" of making out, necking, petting, heavy petting, and foreplay are so important.

Your request is my command. ;)

What follows is a two-part reply because of the site's size limitation on posts.

I hope that you and others will take the time to read the information and not just skim over it; first, because it took a lot of time to compose and write; second, because the information is so important and crucial. Making out is not all about the physical aspects of sex, there is a very real very strong very necessary emotional and psychological aspect, also, and this is what is addressed, here. Girls get it and wonder why boys don't. Guys, this is your wake up call.

The information is not to be taken as the only way to go about this, however, the information should be considered as tips and techniques to be used as a guide.

Here is Part One.

I subscribe to the old school way of making out. This ritualistic approach includes: "Necking", "Petting", "Heavy Petting" and eventually--"Foreplay". These are loosely defined as follows:

* Necking--
Kissing and caressing between the hairline and shoulders

* Petting--
Kissing and caressing of the entire body with the exception of the breasts and genitals

* Heavy Petting--
As above and including the breasts and genital area (primarily confined to outside of the clothing)

* Foreplay--
Kisses and caresses designed to directly intensify a person's level of arousal, sexual tension, excitement, and anticipation, and leading to and bringing about an orgasm. Foreplay includes all of the above along with the breasts and genitals, directly

These stages are progressive, beginning with necking and moving along from the previous stage to the next up to whatever limit the girl/woman sets.

* Limits and Implied Consent--
Respect and honor whatever the limit is that she sets.

Gently test her limits to learn if she has extended it to some new level of intimacy. This is done by using a process known as "Implied Consent", meaning that permission to continue caressing is implied or granted and so you do not have to ask if you can do this or that. If she does not feel comfortable with or want you to do something she will then say or otherwise indicated that this is a limit of how far she wants you to go. Within this range you are free to kiss and caress her.

You can learn whether or not she has extended her previous limit to some new level of intimacy if she does not stop you when you reach the previous limit. If she doesn't stop you, then just keep going until she does stop you and then this will be her new limit. Like previous limits, you are now free to make out within these boundaries--and, so it goes.

You can also set limits beyond which you do not feel comfortable going beyond. When you do, then feel free to set a new limit.

It is a "guy thing" to test limits and to try and race his way to the finish line or orgasm in this case. This is exacty the wrong approach to use most of the time with a woman. A guy can experience a climax with little or no preparation, not so a woman. The female of the species requires deliberate and prolonged kissing and caressing in order to build her level of arousal. DO NOT rush her, rather, use the time to pique and peak your interest while at the same time building hers to match.

The following is a link to a forum resource that maybe of interest:

http://www.sexinfo101.com/ra_index.shtml

Here are two websites expressly for teens. These resources contain a lot of information and answer many questions and concerns of interest to boys and girls alike.

http://members.optusnet.com.au/~austbua/link.htm

http://www.scarleteen.com/

PART II

Here are some guidelines for making out. Before I get to them, let me preface this with some things you and other fellas should be mindful of.

Responsibilities, Obligations, Expectations, and Idealisms--

It is not uncommon for a teenager to hope and pray for all he's worth that when he (finally) makes out with a girl that it will lead directly to his getting his rocks off, pure and simple; moreover, that making out is all about this and his pleasure and has little or nothing to do with expressing the love the two have for each other, if in fact he even loves her. ** WRONG! This is a naive belief that has the cart before the horse.

Making out and ultimately making love is a partnership in which each participant gives to the other. In giving we also receive what we desire and do not have to take it, often at the other person's expense.

** Guys will often say and do whatever it takes in order to get a girl to "put out". How selfish and selfserving is this? Be certain before you tell someone "I love you" that you indeed do. These are three extremely powerful words that should not be expressed in a cavalier manner.

Cherish a girl's reputation. If she gets a reputation around school that she is "easy" or "puts out" with little effort whether true or not, then she will be injured psychologically and scarred emotionally, often for years. Keep what happens between the two of you private and do not share (or brag about) your intimate activities or personal exploits with friends, no matter what the temptation.

Expect that no matter how much previous experience either of you have had with other people, each new pairing is a new partnership with its own unique set of dynamics and peculiarities that must be addressed and worked out. In point of fact, the two of you really start out together on the same footing with things that actually matter. That one or the other person has had more experience kissing, or fingering or giving hand jobs or blow jobs, or something else, is absolutely no guarantee of success with the next person.

Treat your girlfriend with respect, dignity, and caring. Do not use her as a means to your end if what you only want from making out is to hopefully experience an orgasmic climax and a moment in nirvana. If you happen to be so selfish and self centered, then my adivice is to wait and do some more maturing.

*MAKING OUT*

There is no one way to begin or to proceed. Variety is spice, and each episode may precipitate a different way to start.

Necking--
All things above the shoulders.

I believe a good beginning is to start kissing and caressing her after sitting next to each other for a while, perhaps listening to music or watching television. Cuddling works. So too does hugging.

That said, after perhaps holding hands or having an arm around her shoulder, begin by stroking or lightly brushing her hair with your fingers. Girls enjoy running a brush through their hair. and for your fingers to do this is a great starting point. Next, consider using your finger tips to gently massage the back of her head and neck and then lightly caressing her shoulders.

The things you do should have a timelessness about them with no sense of rushing or urgency. For her benefit, a make out session should be no less than half an hour in length--longer if convenient.

Place your head on her shoulder and rest it there for awhile as your fingers caress the fingers of her hand while perhaps resting in her lap or yours. Explore her palm and then with a free hand draw her near and cuddle. As you do you can raise your head and kiss her on the cheek, lips, or side of the neck, as appropriate.

As things progress you can brush your lips over her eyebrows, her cheeks, neck, and shoulders.

Kisses should begin with a light touch and not linger. More pressure and passion, with lingering kisses comes later and after a certain level of arousal and sexual excitement has been attained.

You might place the side of your forefinger under her chin, and either raise her head to meet your lips, or, to turn her head to do so. Whatever is appropriate.

One and or two kisses in a row works with the second one lingering.

In addition to stroking her hair, massaging her neck and shoulders, kissing her face, and tracing your fingers over her face, you can do these things while also kissing her.

Depending upon your ages, necking should be the be all-end all if you are a young teen. Mother Nature has played a mean joke on the human race by letting us develop physically and sexually at the expense of being emotionally secure and prepared. Until you are older teens, I recommend confining your intimacy to this level. The difficulty with this logic is that teens do not know what they do not know and being ruled by hormones, we often believe that because the body says "yes" that it is a given that the mind does, also. Not so. The brain is not fully developed until around age 21! The last portion of the gray matter to form is the frontal lobe that makes it possible to "see around corners" and understand the consequences of our actions.

Petting--
At age 17-18 you can include all of the above along with kisses and caresses to the torso, arms, and legs, primarily with clothes on.

Caresses should be all inclusive. As you move from A to B to C you should revisit A and B. As your caresses move on to D, E, & F, you should also revisit A, B, & C., etc., et cetera, etc. In so doing, we raise each other's level of arousal, tension, anticipation, and, excitement.

Involvement of the breasts, genitals, and earlobes should come later as tensions mount. Do not skip to the end of the alphabet bypassing the ABCs. Guys are ready willing and able to enjoy sex almost at a moments whim; not so, girls. Girls require a much longer span of time to be ready to experience an orgasm and the route is much more deliberate. Know this and devote the time and attention required.

Breast and genital involvement should be cursory at this level. You can cup and briefly touch and fondle one or both breasts in passing as you move from one place to the next. The same goes for the genitals. You might trace your fingers down to her pubic area from the abdomen, or, up from the inside of her leg and thigh, and even slide your fingers between her legs.

If her clothing partially exposes her breasts, then feel free to let your fingers roam and explore their curves.

Genital play can be anything from just letting your hand rest on her pubic mound, or inside her legs, to actually trying to arouse her by massaging her vulva. Keep in mind that clothing is restrictive so not much is probably going to happen.

Heavy Petting--

This includes all of the above and now introduces more intimacy by gradually undoing and later removing one or more articles of clothing.

Breast play now begins to include closer contact by undoing her blouse or shirt and touching her breasts through her bra. A hand can slip up inside her top from the waist. This new level of intimacy increases her arousal while giving her time to adjust to her greater exposure and vulnerability, especially if she is new to all this.

You can slip your fingers down inside her cups from the top, or, unfasten the bra, letting it dangle, while exploring within.

Nipple involvement begins now, and only after she achieves a certain high level of arousal.

Foreplay--

Continues all of the above familiarity and now lets a couple begin to undress and explore and fondle each other in greater detail and to a much higher level of arousal and sexual tension.

Guys devote more time and attention to the breasts and nipples, as well as actually exploring her vulva and all its pieces-parts. It is now that fingering the Labia Majora (large lips) and kneading, gently tugging, and massaging the Labia Minora (small lips) as well as fingering the clitoris and shaft begin to take her on the final climb toward her orgasm. As all this is happening, remember your ABCs and the rest of the proverbial alphabet. Now that you can touch, kiss and caress her skin directly, you should spend plenty of time exploring every inch of her body and applying plenty of kisses and caresses. These should now be much more sensual in nature and application.

As she becomes more aroused, you can begin to transition her toward her climax and into eventually helping her achive one--or more. It is at this time that a man will finger his partner and perhaps engage in oral stimulation. The woman will reciprocate as she desires. For most couples this will be the end of the adventure. For those wanting to continue, the end will of course be intercourse.

The Last Word--

I hope I have given you enough techniques and ideas for how to make out, especially with regard to Necking. With a vivid imagination you can take this information and expand upon it in broader terms. I've provided fewer details with the other levels because this is not the focus of your question. I included guidelines because I want you to see how all this fits together both in scope and as a timeline for how love making progresses down the road and as you accumulate more experience and maturity.

Please, please do not be in a big rush to do it all. If you are young, spend a year or two just Necking. If you are older, then spend four, five, or more months just Necking and Petting before doing the heavy stuff.

Keep in mind that as a loving partnership, a couple should teach each other and learn together. It is silly and unrealistic to think that you have to be perfect right from the get-go. If mistakes happen, just roll with them and have fun in the process.

I hope this is of help and that I have given you insight into how to proceed. Feel free to ask questions.

PART IIIa

Here is a two-part adendum on breast play that I am including because it was touched on above with no further details. In addition, I am providing more guidelines on genital play. Here be the details taken from a previous post:

> I'm in high school and have dated a little but haven't done a lot yet even though my current girlfriend and I want to. We're both about 18.

Begin with the information in the first post. It is great advice.

> Friday we went to a school thing and when it was over we went somewhere and made out in my truck only this time she was wearing a top that could easily be pulled down.

Hmmm...I wonder what was on her mind when she was dressing for your date?

> I got to touch her boobs but don't know what I should be doing with them.

Making love is an art as well as it is a science. When the time is right, let your kisses and caresses begin and build yet all the while revisiting previous areas of the body.

The breasts are erogenous zones. http://en.mimi.hu/sexuality/erogenous_zone.html

As such they are best left for later in the game when a person is now very highly aroused. This does not mean that you cannot brush over one on your way to someplace else, however, do not linger and devote much attention to them until s/he is very turned on by the caresses that have been ongoing.

When it is time to involve the breasts, begin by perhaps cupping one from the outside of her clothing. Later, you might slip a finger down from the top inside her blouse or shirt and feeling them through her bra. Keep in mind all this is progressive and this causes anticipation and builds sexual arousal. It is poor form most of the time to just undress and grab hold and start fiddling.

If you are unfastening her top, then you can run your fingers over each breast as well as her upper and lower chest, moving in on them to give more attention as things heat up. Removing the bra is sometimes an awkward experience. Does he? Does she? How--where's the hook? If you try to unfasten it and fumble, she will probably step in and help you. On the other hand, she may be interested in moving right along and will undo it before you get to it. Whatever works. In keeping with building excitement, sexual tension, anticipation, etc., keep the bra in place albeit unfastened for a little while as you explore inside the cups. The idea is to build anticipation while at the same time getting her used to the new level of intimacy if she is new to all this.

As your fingers and lips roam and explore each breast, you will probably discover that one of her nipples is more reactive than the other. If so, then this is the one to devote more time and attention to. There are some other important considerations to know and understand, also.

First, the nipples really turn on and become reactive when a person has achieved a high level of arousal. This is why it is important to wait and not mess with them too much too early in the proceedings.

Second, learn when to touch and when not to. Some women receive great pleasure early on yet find touching and fondling her breasts just prior to or during an orgasm to be disruptive and distracting. Others welcome the continued and ongoing caresses, so learn what she likes.

Third, BE GENTLE. Pinching and twisting are no-nos. However, you might discover that she enjoys a very gentle squeeze or a bit of a rotational tweak.

Fourth, different sensations will be felt with a dry finger and a wet finger. You can rub the side or front of a nipple and the areola either way.

Fifth, kisses can be applied dry, moist, or wet and slurpy. The latter leaves plenty of moisture behind to wet a finger.

Sixth, consider at times "grazing" over the surface of each using your lips, fingers, or palms in unison.

Seventh, do not use your nails unless you determine early on that she likes it. If you want to use your fingernail, place some material like the bedsheet between your finger and the nipple, then use the edge of your nail to rub the nipple.

Eighth, you can bounce a nipple between your fingers, using your fingers flat but touching each other, or, you can use the same bouncing action with fingers parted. Try fast and slow motions to see what works, when. (Remember the washboards with corrogations used in olden days to wash clothing?)

Ninth, if her breasts are small and lie flat against the chest when she reclines, you can place the palm of your hand over one and massage the nipple against the ribcage using a small circular motion and gentle pressure.

Tenth, as with all forms of caressing, keep other areas of her body involved at the same time you are doing things to those erogenous zones. You have two hands and a pair of lips, so keep one hand busy one place and the other roaming. As with all things, take your cues from her responses and do more of the things she enjoys.

> I know the tits are suppse to do things to her but what? When I finger mine nothing happens which is why I'm wondering.

I wish I knew the answer to your first question. One woman recently divulged that her nipples have a direct connection to her clitoris. That would seem to indicate that whatever happens topside will augment whatever sensations are being experienced down below. As for the second, place a layer of your T-shirt, pajama top, or bed sheet between your fingernail and nipple. Fiddle with one or the other only when you are very highly aroused. See if one is more reactive than the other and if so, devote more time and attention to this one.

PART IIIb

> We've also been putting our hands between each other's legs but that doesn't seem to do anything when I rub or shake my hand there.

Are you sure? It may not if you are doing it too early and before she is very aroused. It may not if you are rubbing the wrong area. Why not ask her where to rub?

> Do I actually have to touch her there before somehthing happens?

Probably, unless she grants you pretty good access through her clothing and gives guidence.

> I've seen drawings of girls but how do I know when I am touching the right place? It's not like me because she can grab on through my pants or boxers and things happen.

Experience. And, watching her reactions to what you are doing. You can also ask her where to touch. Later, when you have been granted full access and can touch her directly, you will find the clitoris beneath the juncture of the inner labia. The easiest way to find it is to place one lip between your fingers and trace along it until you reach the junction. If you are slipping a finger down from the upper vulva, then you can find it pretty easily.

> Last night we got together for a little while and she made me cream myself inside my shorts which she got a big kick out of. I've tried to get her to touch my dick but she won't. When I try to put her hand inside or bring it out she stops me but she won't stop messing with it which confuses me.

I understand the confusion. What is happening is she is building confidence and becoming acquainted little by little with an increasing level of intimacy. She will want to touch your penis and scrotum in due time.

> She's played with me several times but this was the first time to cum mainly because before I wouldn't let myself go or I'd stop her but last night I just let myself go and the more I let go the more she got into it. So why won't she actually handle my dick do you think?

Asked and answered. Just give her time and encouragement rather than forcing the issue.

> I want to touch her bad but don't know how best to go about that. I mean she lets me put my hand between her legs and if she wears a dress I can rub against her panties so it's sorta the same thing she does to me. Do I wait for her to pull her panties down or do I do that?

Here, again, use the same approach as you have used elswhere. Start casual and then build the intensity and the familiarity. If she will let you rub her genitals through her panties, then at some point try slipping a finger inside from the waistband; or, by inserting a finger inside along the crotch and moving the material aside as noted in the other post.

The panties may or may not go down or off depending upon her level of comfort, sense of security, and other factors. Don't force the issue, yet at the same time see how far she will let you try.

> Then what? Keep in mind this is my truck I'm talking about so we have to do it sitting.

Sitting or semi-reclining, her private parts will be facing forward.

> Oh, and what about me, do you think I should just pull my cloths off and stop trying to put her hand inside my fly instead? I really want us to go to the next level after what happened last night.

I don't know. This is a dynamic that the two of you will have to work out. I think you will learn the answer soon enough if you try to pull your penis out through your fly after she has been fondling it a while. She will either stop you or not. If she stop you, it is a signal that she is not quite ready for this level of intimacy. If so, respect her position.

> Oh, yea, and I know we are a long ways from having sex but I think about it and want to put my fingers in her if I can. Is this a good idea or not? I am afraid if I push my fingers in her that I won't want to stop until it's my dick and I don't what that but I know that if you give a guy an inch he'll also try for a mile and I don't want to go so far I can't stop myself.

I believe you may have provided your own answer. Of course it is a good thing to insert a finger when done at the right time and when circumstances are right. Don't try to go way up inside; rather, concentrate on the outside and just inside the vaginal opening becuase this is where all the major nerve endings are.

> Would dry humping be a good when a couple doesn't want sex? HELP HELP HELP Sexy1 2B needs advice.

Yes, yet keep in mind that you may not be satisfied with that and this level of familiarity and intimacy may force one or the other of you into wanting intercourse before being ready for it. Better me thinks for the time being and immediate future to set your limit at fingering her, receiving a hand job, and giving each other oral stimulation. Keep the rest for much later. NOTE: This comment is based both on age appropriateness as well as the duration of the duration and quality of the relationship on whole.

I hope this is of help. Got questions or comments on the presentation?

DancingDoc.... you will never cease to amaze me. I will study this at great length to see if I can improve ^_^!

heh, thanks for the guide.