The guy I'm seeing and I have been sleeping together for a couple of months. I have since learned that it is hard to get him to have an orgasm. He is only semi-cooperative in telling me what he likes. He is nearly 34 and has only cum from oral a handful of times in his life (once by me--patting myself on the back). I've hinted around at things like anal and he is uninterested. It nice for me since we will usually have sex for an hour and I always get mine. So far the only thing I have been able to get him to tell me is that he does like to have sex sitting up and he has had a few orgasms that way. He can't stop talking about how great the sex is between us and that he has just never consistently came. I'm not quite ready to just give in to this idea that he will only cum 25% of the time we have sex. Any ideas for a guy that appears to need more than average stimulation?
I was trying to avoid having to post this question but couldn't find the answers I wanted. I had seen another post about a woman with a similar issue only her man was small. My man is definitely not small and he is able to have orgasms, just not as often as he deserves ;)
Please look through the Index. This and related info have been addressed in at least a couple of articles.
Okay! You have two possible reasons for his inability: mental and physical!
1. Mental: attitude toward sex. Oddly enough, men too have emotional isues with sex - some need the romance, some need permission, some think it is dirty - whatever. What is most disturbing about your post is his apparent apathy to solving the problem - doesn't he like orgasms? TALK with him and if this does not help, he should seek professional counseling from a sex therapist. A man of his age should not be having this problem.
2. Pjysical: medications, hormone levels, stress, fear, poor fitness levels, or many underlying medical conditions could be causing him problems. For these issues a urologist should be consulted.
Good luck!
And come back with the results!
The first thing that comes to mind is whether he masturbates. Can he make himself orgasam? also a common reason that guys have for not being able to finish is that they masturbate too much they become used to the pressure of their own hand and then when they're actually inside a woman it doesn't do anything for them.
Do you use condoms?
Anywho one thing to bear in mind is that since you are actually being satisfied sexually he is actually doing the business. So remind him of that let him know that all you want is for him to be satisfied as well. It's no boost for any womans ego if she can't make her fell a come.
Anyway here are a few ideas
try getting him to masturbate with you, that's one way of telling if its just vaginal sex itself that's the problem.
try pinching or scraping him a little bit when you feel he's nearly there.
try sexual positions that allow him to speed up or slow down easily
talk to him during sex be expressive.
Anyway I hope it works out
What does you man say about it? From the sounds of it, he seems pretty content. If he isn't all that interested in having orgasms every time, I wouldn't stress yourself over it. He has to want it, too, and be willing to talk about it and make an effort. But, really, talk to him about it. Your relationship is still fairly new and perhaps he just needs some time to get more comfortable.
Don't any of you read the Sticky articles Brandye, EEK, and I, have written? There are some very good suggestions, above, yet some off base assumptions, also.