U can't second guess urself man. U gota show her u kno wat u doing. First thing check around this site under pleasing women to get sum hints and try small things. I'm not saying be a porn star but the more knowlegde u have the more confident u will be. U should go fast then slow the waiting will kill her. Like throw her on the bed and they take her clothes off slowly then I mean just go with ur natural instints

> A girl I've been seeing for a couple months is ready to have sex, but she doesn't want to "give herself to me" or make love to me or whatever

What are you saying? On the one hand she is ready; on the other she doesn't want to....? Maybe you are the wrong person for her, or she has yet to decide that you are Mr. Right.

> I'm pretty inexperienced and worried about this.

Everybody is when at the beginning of this great adventure. Why worry about something that is out of your control? Simply explore and learn together. I've said it time and again to others in your situation that "Whether one or the other or both of you are virgins or experienced, we all begin each new partnership at "Square One". Experience equates to knowledge not skill."

Where is it written that one or both of you has to perform perfectly? The fragile male ego may tell you so, but truth be told, that is a lot of hooey. Of course people will fumble and bumble and make mistakes--so what, it is part of learning and adjusting and getting in-tune with each other. Couples who have been together for years are not always perfectly in-tune with each other, and yes, we do make faux paus from time to time. Don't take yourself so seriously and for Pete sake, relax and enjoy each lovemaking session.

> She is going to expect me to take the lead and give her a good youknowhat, but I'm afraid I'll do something wrong in the transition between kissing and sex, I don't know if I should just rip her clothes off (which she would love, but I don't know if I could do that properly) or take it slow so she has time to get wet and ready. What would be my best bet?

In the beginning stages of a loving relationship it is my never to be so humble opinion that you should go slow. Why?

* Yes, she needs time to become very aroused and wet; however, wetness like the appearance of precum is not an indication that she is ready for intercourse. When she is ready, she will give you a signal.

* She may be as timid or unsure as you are the first time you make out, so don't think this is all about you. Going slowly gives both of you time to become comfortable with each new advance or level of intimacy.

* Before you go much further than kissing and necking, I highly recommend that you do some studying on the matter of making out. There is both a science and an art for which you seem to be rather unacquainted. I have written extensively on the how-to's of making out. You can do a search of this board or just do a search under my name using the key "all inclusive".

Here is a series of three posts from the other day:
http://www.sexinfo101.com/forum/pleasing_him/17196-turning_him_on.html?h...

When you become comfortable with each other and have some successes then if you want to rip each other's clothing off and/or go for the proverbial "Quickie" then by all means go for it. Doing this in the beginning is not wise as she might misinterpret your actions and intensions. You don't need her hollering "date rape" over a misunderstanding and overly enthusiastic lover.

> I don't know if I could do that properly) or take it slow so she has time to get wet and ready. What would be my best bet? I sense I need to do the transition fast and not sit there and rub her passionately and kiss her slowly and all that

Asked and answered. It takes a considerable length of time to arouse a woman's passions, physically. Figure on no less than half an hour. So, while you may be ready, willing, and able, at the drop of a suggestion and little more, not so the typical woman, typically.

The so called art for the how to of making our should obe "all inclusive" most of the time. Please read the three post answers included in this link.

> I sense I need to do the transition fast and not sit there and rub her passionately and kiss her slowly and all that.

Of course you can do this, although, I wouldn't recommend it until the two of you can read each other's intent very well. More often than not, a couple in llove will make out for an hour or (much) more before ever working directly on having climaxes by whatever means {hand, and/or oral, and/or intercourse). As noted, above, much of this time is required to arouse the woman, the rest of the time is to simply enjoy the moment with each other that kissing and caressing in a timeless manner offers.

> I only have less than a week until when we are scheduled to do this. What would you suggest?

Q. How do you define "having sex"?

A. Making out?
B. Intercourse?
C. All of the above?

If your answer is either B or C, then in my never to be so humble opinion, you are in way too much of a hurry. Better you devote several weeks or months to just learning about each other, your reactions, and the simple pleasures of making out {Necking, Petting, Heavy Petting, Foreplay) before ever even considering intercourse--if at all.

Even if your answer is A, with every expectation that the two of you will strive for orgasms as an ending goal, you are still in too much of a rush if you ask me. These things should come after lots and lots of time is devoted to just making out and progressing over weeks or months to a point where you feel comfortable and want to involve each others genitalia.

You sound like the typical randy hormonally driven young buck with nary a clue who can't wait to have some sort of "sex" in order to get his rocks off. If so, then you need to hold your priorities in check and understand the bigger picture for the whys of making out or having "sex" however it is defined. Guys are able to separate out the aspect of love from the mechanics of making out and having sex. A woman can, also, although it is much more difficult and comes at a much greater cost to her psyche.

If in a week your goal is to just kiss and do some necking or maybe some petting, then your timeline is acceptable. If on the other hand you think you are going to "get some" then you are in way too big a hurry. Moreover, you do not yet have an understanding of why people make love. When you can provide an answer to this, then you will be ready for that.

So, what is it that you expect to have happen in a week? Inquisitive minds want to know? I hope this is of help.

[QUOTE=dablacckid]U can't second guess urself man. U gota show her u kno wat u doing. First thing check around this site under pleasing women to get sum hints and try small things. I'm not saying be a porn star but the more knowlegde u have the more confident u will be. U should go fast then slow the waiting will kill her. Like throw her on the bed and they take her clothes off slowly then I mean just go with ur natural instints[/QUOTE]

I cannot disagree with this approach and philosophy more.

[QUOTE=siph0n]Well, I'm not like a dumbass nerd who has never seen a boob before, but I simply don't have the experience to be confident. I won't be shaking and nervous but if I seem confident and **** up something, I'll look like the biggest loser ever. Aaahhhh![/QUOTE]

Perception is less than 9/10 of the truth.

So you mess up. So WHAT?
Nobody except a guy's fragile male ego expects either of you to perform flawlessly.

You will NOT look like the biggest looser ever, I can guarantee this fact to you. Previous experiences equate to knowledge, not skill. Every time a new partnership is formed, a couple regardless of any previous experience, begins at Square One. In a nutshell this means exploring and teaching and learning as you go. Mistakes happen, or more accurately, things do not always go as planned--which are two different things. Ya just gotta understand this, roll with the punches, and continue to have fun.

Confidence comes with each little success. I'll give you this. Yet for either one of you to expect a perfect performance from the other in the beginning, or even later, is completely unrealistic. Spend as much time as necessary reading up on the art of eros. If it takes longer than your week, so be it.

Got questions? Feel free to ask.

I'm going to throw a spelling and grammar book at somebody again... Fourth time in three days... please don't waste everyone's time with unintelligible and unhelpful posts.