Write her a letter telling her what you want to say!

You guys just need to talk about this. Some people are open to a little swinging, some aren't.

I'd say she's really overreacting. She brought up an urge that most men would be angry or hurt at her for. You, being educated and comfortable in your relationship, understood her urge and tried to be accepting - and now she's angry at YOU?!?

If I were you, bring it up, and explain to her that you were just trying to humor her and make her fantasies come true. If she doesn't want you to consider her fantasies as possiblities, she either shouldn't bring them up or she should tell you right off that she doesn't want to do them.

I'd drop the whole sexologist thing.

tell her if she wants to do things with other people then u will do the same

I would tell her that you want to do one of her best friends. Pick a specific one too.

[QUOTE=sexjeff;158881]I would tell her that you want to do one of her best friends. Pick a specific one too.[/QUOTE]

And if she says "go for it" then get all upset about it and ask her why she doesn't want you to herself.

Putting aside the advice of the other posters above, particularly those who are 15 years old:

What's the problem?

She has an "urge" that she does not want to act on. Both the urge and the reason for not acting on it are pretty normal. I'd guess a fair number of married (or similarly committed) women feel a similar urge at some point in their lives; and I suspect that in the vast majority of cases they don't act on that urge.

I suppose there are people who are silly enough so as to believe that failing to act on urges is somehow wrong or unhealthy. This might be true in the case of some animals. The notion is ridiculous when applied to humans, particularly civilized adults.

So ... why not do this: just drop the whole subject, and (the fact this next part sounds funny should tell you something) allow your wife not to have sex with your friend.

[QUOTE=celebi251ca1;158855] admitted that she has sexual urges towards my childhood best friend but claims its just sexual and no emotional.[/QUOTE]
Sounds like she spoke about something she DIDN'T want an answer to!!..What are you supposed to say...yah baby...it's okay...yah ..uh NO WAY hunnie...what are you nutz??...see you're caught out of position either way...you figure it out!! ROFLMAO

This was a very childish test of your devotion put to you by her. She equates jealousy and possessiveness with love. THAT is the issue you discuss. The rest was just a 'red herring' to throw you off the track and confuse you.

I reckon both NizeGie and EvilKitten have to a degree hit this one on the head. Your wife's admission of a fantasy could be a either/or and even a little of both.

I alot of LTR men and woman battle to provide their partners with incite into fantasy, or fantasies they have. You should be overjoyed that your wife feels the relationship is secure enough to inform you of her fantasy and a little jealous at the same time that it is not a faceless stranger for whom she had the fantasy but a long time friend.

fantasies can be shared and "lived" out in role play scenarios to, maybe this is an avenue to explore!!

Check this

She said, she had a thing for one of your freinds.
Must be a dude, Cause you wouldnt have written this.

(I Argee with Above. Heres A tip That May Work for your type of girl.)

She said it for attention She really didn't want to sleep with your freind in real life. She was testing you to see what you would say. You failed. Flowers, then please her then talk to her about it in bed while cuddling dont screw the mood up. Think Before you speak, I think she was looking for a, From YOU: What do you wanna do babe? who? Why? Just so she knows that you want her to be the only girl for you and you care who bonks her. To let her know you care about her. It's Just a Test. You may even just drop it instead of making it a huge thing. Tell Me if This works
Tell her you love her alot. You Just got Married. Congradulations man. BUt give Her More Attention and Those Questions Should stop.

Peace Peace

Good Luck

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[QUOTE=celebi251ca1;158855]Hey there im new here at posting stuff but i've been reading your posts for a long time and you guys really helped me a lot. thanks!

But now i have a problem that doesn't seem to be anywhere. To say breifly, my wife to whom i have been married to for about a year but been dating for over 3 years admitted that she has sexual urges towards my childhood best friend but claims its just sexual and no emotional.

Seeing how im very open to sexual behaviors (i'm learning to be a sexologist in university, its hard but yeah lol) i said thats its completely normal and if she wants to do him really badly then i would let her in some extend.

After hearing this she gets upset and says that i dont care about her enough to keep her all to myself. clearly she doesn't understand the way i feel about this at all. i've tried talking to her but she just ignores the whole ordeal and changes subject. You guys have any advice to can give to me? thanks[/QUOTE]

how could you possibly be comfortable with another man putting his penis inside your wife? how does the thought of that NOT drive you insane?

[QUOTE=NizeGie;158893]Putting aside the advice of the other posters above, particularly those who are 15 years old:

What's the problem?

She has an "urge" that she does not want to act on. Both the urge and the reason for not acting on it are pretty normal. I'd guess a fair number of married (or similarly committed) women feel a similar urge at some point in their lives; and I suspect that in the vast majority of cases they don't act on that urge.

I suppose there are people who are silly enough so as to believe that failing to act on urges is somehow wrong or unhealthy. This might be true in the case of some animals. The notion is ridiculous when applied to humans, particularly civilized adults.

So ... why not do this: just drop the whole subject, and (the fact this next part sounds funny should tell you something) allow your wife not to have sex with your friend.[/QUOTE]

That is a damn good post. It's good to have a dose of common sense on this board occasionally.