I have really crappy orgasms, sometimes I can't even tell I had one. I can have pretty good pleasure leading up to one, but once i get there its just like "why did I even bother?" I've read up on this, and most places say "be thankful for the pleasure you CAN have" but that just doesnt cut it for me. I feel like my sex drive is getting less and less and whenever anyone mentions having great sex I get depressed because I never have, never even great masturbation. I want to yell at people to shut up when they say things like this, bragging in front of me.
Anyways, its a completely horrible problem for me and it makes me feel awful. I've tried keigals and i have lots of vibes. are there any medications? do those creams actually work? What would help?
btw im female, long time non virgin and having sex with a great fiance.
Forget the creams. Talk to the doctor about the medications you are on. If you are on the pill, that may be partly to blame. A doctor may switch to something less potent (a lower dose) or may add some testosterone (yes, the male hormone) which improves this situation for many women. Some of my patients have switched to the ring with ok results.
The other response may include a sex therapist and your fiance would be included at some point. If you have been experiencing this for a long time, this may be becoming a self-fulfilling prophesy. Keep enjoying what you have but expect better.
im not on birthcontrol
Then talk to the doctor about meds you may be on. psychotropics, especially but not exclusively, are notorious for their effects on sex in both genders. Sex therapists can work wonders. Check any out closely. Many gyn's, gp's and women's health clinics can make recommendations.
I'm on nothing stronger than the occational midol, I'm quite healthy.