Silly silly silly me. I have been in an open relationship for going on three years. We sat we talked and I thought we agreed on some issues. He has had a vastectomy and I have had a hysterectomy so pregnancy was never an issue. I have never been told that I can't come to his house or call so I really didn't think there even was someone else.
He owns his own home and well any female touches are ones that I have made. And thoses he allows few and far between. He has been in this house for 20 years and moved into from a house he lived in with a female and her mother. So he has his house and well, right now I want to go egg it.
I asked him the other day, just to make sure and because my doctor asks each and every year, about unprotected sex. My understanding was if he didn't wear a condom with me then he did if there was anyone else. He needed to protect me. So I asked and his answer was don't ask don't tell just like the army. HUH
I have an appointment tomorrow with my doctor and she is going to chew me a new one. What also kinda freaks me out is that on Sunday, the last time we were intimate he asked about a threesome. Only with a second guy. One in each, we have done anal. NOOOOOOOO. He then pulls out one of "our" vibrators and well he thought it felt cool to feel the vibration. I was more than a lttle turned off.
Now when someone I know, who happened to live next door to the woman and her mom heard we were seeing each other she said "he has really unusual sexual ideas". She passed away in April so I can't go asking her for more info. What do I do? I won't ever sleep with him again, and I love him but I have my limits. Can I go to his ex? We have never met.
Tue, 07/29/2008 - 17:32
#1
My name says it all
I should add that I have been very tender since then, but it was the first time using the lubricant that we used, water based, and well he was doing anal and put the vibrator vaginally so maybe that.
I took the week off work and walking around my condo with no pants so they get lots of air. Any other ideas before tomorrow, so that I don't look like a total stupid idiot to my dr?
I guess I don't quite get the question. You NEED to know whether his sex outside your relationship is protected. You're not asking whom, you're asking about safety, which should NOT be don't ask don't tell. If you make this point clear and he still won't answer, get rid of him, get tested, and get on with your life.
Personally, non-exclusive relationships are very definitely not my style, but that's kinda beside the point I guess. If you DO get the answers you need about that particular issue, and you're otherwise happy with your relationship with him, I would hesitate to let it go over possible sexual incompatibility without discussing it with him first. Communication is the ultimate key-don't give up without talking it out.
Hi Int, don't worry he's going to be gone. To not have respect for me is something I will not tolerate. He's told me that he has NEVER had a std, NEVER contacted by anyone about an std, on is last physical he didn't test positive for any, but this has taken me a couple of days to get out of him. It's wierd, we usually have a very good level of communication.
It did freak me out about another guy thing, I would think that most men suggesting a threesome would suggest a woman not a man. And then issue about who he's been with. I never asked who, when, where, even their sex, just did you protect me and don't ask, don't tell like in the Army comes back at me.
I am feeling much better tonight, no bright red, no itch, no burning, and will see my dr first thing tomorrow for the battery of tests. I've learned my lesson and well see ya later idiot. It's not only my life that he played with.