also, last night i psyched myself up to let him finger me (i spent 1 and a hlf hours making myself perfect to b seen by him etc etc) and i felt ill when i got to his house. i felt so embarrassed. maybe i was ill, but mayb , just MAYB by body was warning me i wasn't ready. i know i shudn't rush this so i'm waiting for now and seeing how it goes..
Mon, 02/28/2005 - 20:42
#1
my guy
thanks evry1!!
uncreativename
If youre unsure then wait
its the smart thing to do, then when something does happen you wont be upset and can just concentrate on enjoying all these new experiences!
The fact that your having these doubts makes me think you may not be ready. You really should take your time and like everybody has been saying, when you're really really ready, you'll feel it. In regard to your question about your boyfreind telling people, it should be understood that he doesnt talk about what you guys do in private. That falls under the old "Don't kiss and tell" rule. And if you have doubts about him talking, make sure and be upfront with him to clarify things. Tell him that if you ever do somthing with him you dont want the whole school to know by noon the next day. That way, he'll know for sure that your not okay with it.
You'll know when you're ready.
And no, it's not wrong to hold out till you're older.
thnx 4 the helpful advice. how do i know if i am ready? i mean, this is my first bf...i do rlly like him, but is it wrong not to hold out till im older? i dunno...i mean im sure if we keep going out i wud do stuff with him, he's a nice guy. im just worried that maybe im being rash or i'll get a bad rep. i havnt told ne1 how far we've bin yet, but evrything in my skool gets round eventually..and i dont wnt him to repeat stuff we do. if i wnt to do stuff, shud i just tell him not to repeat nething. he hasn't yet which is gr8 (it's bin a bit over 3 months, so that's gud going. i know he respects me) i'm just worried about when it is over.
sorry if i sound rlly paranoid.
uncreativename
IAm is right.
When it is right you will know and it will be all the nicer for the wait. Meanwhile, be true to yourself.
I don't particularly blame your boyfriend. He is just being like mother nature intends. Even though he probably means well, us men are driven by urges that catch us offguard sometimes!! Lord kows i have been there!!!
Another point on this is that, come the time when you do eventualy go a little further, be aware that it is easy to get carried away. It's worth being prepared even if it never does come to anything.
No, you shouldn't let him pressure you into anything you don't wanna do.
However I will say that just because you felt ill, doesn't mean your body was telling you you weren't ready.
Most of it was probably nerves. No matter how much you psych yourself up for the occasion, you will still be nervous, especially if it's something you've never done before.
You shouldn't definately NOT let your boyfriend pressure you into anything!!! If he really loves you and cares for you he'll go at whatever pace you're comfortable with. Don't go too fast if you're not totally comfortable with what's going on. It seems like he doesn't care as much about you as he says. You might just need to give him an ultimatum. Either he stops pressuring you and respects what you want or it's over.