My girlfriend and i are intimate and after i get her off i place her hand by my penis and she gives me a hand job. However after the hand job since i dont really say much during because i always think if i say something i dont want to be too loud and get her parents curious or suspicious she gets upset and thinks that im lying when i say she did a good job. and im honestly not lying she does a pretty good job. What do i do because she will get really angry or upset and wont want to talk to me for the rest of the night. i chose this forum because i know there are more women than men here. so please HELP! lol
Tue, 01/06/2009 - 03:52
#1
My girlfriends hand job predicament
1. Tell her what you wrote here.
2. Read what I have had to say about verbal and non-verbal feedback. Just do a site search.
3. Feedback is important and "verbal feedback" does not have to be a conversation or a loud word. It can be a sigh, "whew...", etc. Whispering works nicely. Non-verbal, like a squeeze or movement of the hand works. Just develop some "sign language".
Good luck!
Well, showing your pleasure while she is in action doesn't require you to be loud. You can always give a quiet sigh of content, and whisper to her "that feels so good babe" or something along those lines. Once she has finished, try pulling her back up close to you and tell her how amazing it was and give her a kiss. Any of these things should do the trick.
However, I also think your girlfriend needs to grow up a bit, shes acting a bit of a brat throwing a tantrum by getting mad after you have honestly told her that you enjoy her handjobs.
Surely it should be obvious by you actually finishing that you enjoyed it? anywho it sounds like she's just a little bit nervous it is quite an intimite act and if she's not used to doing stuff like that then it will take a while. I'm willing to be it will sort itself out
the only thing is that i do give her the sigh and the large exhale and what not but still she thinks im lying and yea she might be a brat but she only did that for one other guy and they were together for 2 years. i can kind of understand bc he was a drug addict and needed it really hard to get off but i mean idk whether or not she understands that every guy is different... kind of lol
Continue talking to her. In addition to what I hope you said at the beginning, tell her this also.
It is fine if you want assurance and ideas from all of us, first, yet you really do need to be able to have an ongoing dialog with her.
I do not know what is going on in her head, you might want to ask her. If she does not believe what you say then she has trust issue and this may stem from a lack of self confidence. If she continues to state that she does not believe what you are saying--and, what you are telling her is accurate and truthful to the best of your knowledge, then this will spill over into other aspects of your relationship. This is when things can become really bad, so talk to her and let her know that you are in fact giving her truthful information, why you do not want to exclaim your ecstasy out loud when her parents are near, and tell her that you do not believe in basing a relationship on lies, so if she cannot learn to trust in what you say and do then the relationship will likely end. (Note: I did not say "will end", you are giving her a window in which to respond positively.)
> she gets upset and thinks that im lying when i say she did a good job. and im honestly not lying she does a pretty good job. What do i do because she will get really angry or upset and wont want to talk to me for the rest of the night.
Another topic I have covered before is the issue of trust.
* Trust is earned
* Once broken, trust is hard to repair and sometimes impossible to repair
In the beginning of a relationship a certain amount of trust must be given to the other person just to get the relationship moving along. Once it is moving along, deeper trust is earned.
It seems to me from what you have written that one of two situations are happening; first, she cannot give that initial trust; second, she has control issues and may be testing you. Either one or both make having a successful happy relationship impossible unless addressed and fixed. If she cannot take that first step to trust that what you are telling her is factual and to believe everything else you say unless and until you lie and the trust is broken, then you may have to move on.
Second, if she is attempting to exert willful control then she has maturity problems as well as trust issues. She needs to understand that a relationship is a partnership. Leadership comes through guidance, not iron rule.
Third, if she is testing your affection, loyalty, or whatever else, call her on it and let her know that you are there for her and that she has a soft place to fall. Once she knows she can count on you, she will relax and let you guide the relationship in cooperation with her input and wishes.
well the thing is she already trusts me. i know things that she hasnt even told her closest friends ever. i know things that only the two of us know. So trust isnt it. unless she is intentionally making the job bad and asking me to make sure i wont lie.
I understand, however, there is trust and there is trust. I have a best friend I have known for decades and there are things he does not know about me nor would I confide.
Only she can tell you what is going on and this is why communication is a relationship is so critically important. Without communication all anyone can do is guess and a guess can quite often be wrong. So with things so important who wants a 50/50 batting average?